22:48 May 31 2008
Times Read: 747
I just have to much going on in real life. Just doesn't seem worth it to go through all that crap again. Just seems pointless, I'll just be right back where I am eventually again anyways. I have to squish 6 months or more into 1 month. Yeah that's just asking for stupid pointless remarks. Things work out as they should so I'll try to accept that fact & move on. I'm not sure at this point what I will decide.
I go back to the cardiologist Thursday to find out what my results are & what the next step is. I'm hoping it's something simple like they put me on medicine to slow my heart rate. My family doctor had thought about this option to begin with, but stated that most will lower my blood pressure as well, which my blood pressure is low enough. I'm just hoping the cardiologist knows of a medicine that maybe doesn't affect both. Someone told me that maybe I wouldn't be so tired all the time if they do that.
The puppies went to the vet today. They are getting so big. The largest is 5lbs & something. The smallest weighs 4lbs 11 ounces. They are getting playful now, full of themselves, so cute.
I talked with a friend earlier that made me feel a little better about a few things. Thanks for that sweetie.
Vacation
20:07 May 25 2008
Times Read: 781
I got home from vacation on Friday. I really did not want to come home. I thought I would miss the Internet, but surprisingly enough, I didn't at all. It made me realize how much I miss the water. The past couple of years I just haven’t had much time to devote to swimming. I need to change that this year.
I enjoyed spending time with my family, mainly my nephew. He changes & grows so quickly. I would love to say it was an interesting & completely pleasant trip, unfortunately when you put 6 very opinionated adults and a four year old in one-house things becomes hectic.
We went to my favorite Italian restaurant. Next thing I know, my sister snaps at my husband over something. Then he becomes really mad, seeing that he did nothing wrong & did not deserve it. I blank on arguments, so even though I saw the whole thing, I couldn’t really say who was right or wrong. From what I could tell, my sister had inherited one of my mom’s flaws. See my mother thinks that when you’re in a restaurant you should whisper, if you talk in a normal tone of voice, or laugh a little loudly she freaks. My husband was quiet; I was on the other side of him & couldn’t even tell what he said. He got so upset, he was going to leave, then he stated he would just sit & not eat. Oh come on now, don’t be that way. Finally I convince him to stay, so things calm & we have a nice meal. This place is normally amazing, it’s a family business we just stumbled across one year while we were there. This time it wasn’t as good though. Seems maybe they are trying to survive and compete with the more corporate type places. Not sure we’ll go back next year. My husband & sister didn’t talk much through the meal, things did calm a bit. As we were leaving my brother in law stopped us & apologized. This helped my husband calm a good bit. My sister was always weird & ornery. She was very sick & almost died from sugar before they finally figured out what was wrong. Sometimes I wonder if this changed her a bit, damaged her brain or something.
We went down just as white bike week was starting to end, but then we stayed till black bike week was getting started. It was fun seeing all the bikes, the amazing paint jobs, the techniques & hard work went into fixing the bikes up.
We noticed the alligator farm so the hubby and me decided to go there. We had gone to one in St. Augustine FL on our honeymoon. This one was really good as well. Not quite as good as the one in FL, but still worth the visit. We took lots of pictures there, so maybe soon I’ll take the time to get them off all my cameras & on here.
All in all it was an amazing vacation. I ate too much, drank too much & had way too much fun. Oh & way to much sun, but the sunburn is starting to go away now.
What Card Am I?06:28 May 17 2008
Times Read: 790
You are The Star
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised
The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
06:21 May 17 2008
Times Read: 792
Mind you I like my house. However there is this paticular house I have always liked & wanted. Nothing special about it & I could not possible say or decide what I like about it so much. My current home has more land and is in a better location. So my husbands friend lives right down the road. They were talking one day & his friend made the statement that he honestly believes the house is haunted. No one stays there long, it has been for sale about 5 times in the last 3 yrs. So hubby comes home & tells me this. My first reaction is that I want it. He knows I always have, so he wasn't really suprised. I said well maybe we can get a good price if it really is. He seems a bit freaked by the thought if it, so I know we will never live there. I will continue to admire the place from a far & wonder what I am missing out on knowing. My parents house was haunted & my new home I believe is as well. Do some people attract ghost or spirits? Could this be what has always drawn me to this house? I can understand my husbands hesitations. For me they have just always been there, never really something to fear. He has seen enough not to doubt my sense of them. He just doesn't want to feel them himself. When something weird happens around here, he will call me into the room, tell me what happened & then walk out telling me to take care of it as he goes. I find this a little cute. In his mind if I take care of it, then he doesn't have to accept it and he can try to forget it happened. He doesn't have to acknowledge it at all.
Stess Test01:19 May 14 2008
Times Read: 835
Stress Test
It felt like I walked 8 miles up hill. Oh good lord it was harder than I thought. Still they said I did really well. They explained everything step by step at the beginning. I'm looking at the treadmill thinking sure, piece of cake. It really looked so easy. Well this is no ordinary treadmill. You want find one of these in your local health nut store. As the test progressed it gets harder every minute. They told me this to start with, I'm still thinking "yeah sure". It felt like I was on there forever. I think they said it was around 7 minutes. Based on my age, height, weight, there was a target heart rate I had to get to. In the first minute I did that. They let me know, but asked me to go as long as I could so they could get as much data as possible. I went for as long & hard as I could. I was really hoping I would get one of those great chest pains during it, so they could see what was going on. Unfortunately I didn't get anything. So they put me in the wheel chair & took me to do a scan of my heart. I had to lay as still as possible for 30minutes while the machine slowly went around me. Now I know what medicine feels like inside that tiny capsule. I got a few pains while the scan was going, so hopefully something will show. The test was over, so she went to take out my IV, finally something interesting happens. The darn thing broke when she went to pull it out. She makes this awful face, & states that she has never seen that happen before. So of course my reply is "huh, what happened" She explain that the IV broke. So then I'm thinking the needle is stuck in my hand. Apparently she suspected my suspisions & quickly stated that it had not. So I went home. Was supposed to go home & rest & eat. I ended up stuck at alltel for about an hour & a half. By the time I made it home, I only had about 45 mins to eat, rest & get back for the next scan. I made it back in time. Actually ended up falling asleep while the machince was going around this time. Oh god, I hope I didn't snore or talk loudly. So now, the test is over, I have to wait to find out the results..*bites nails* Here comes the fun part. Just hurry up & fix me already. lol
04:47 May 12 2008
Times Read: 857
We got a new bottle & we've been feeding the puppy, keeping him on a heat pack. He still doesn't seem to be getting any better though. Hopefully he will hang in there till tomorrow. I'm off work & he's going to see the vet. He eats a little from the bottle, but doesn't hold it down well. I think he eats more than he loses though, so I'll just keep trying it. He's so tiny next to the other's now. He was not my original pick, but it's starting to sucker me in. I'm just afraid something will end up being wrong, mentally or handicapped in some way. I went through that with one dog. It's very difficult, I ended up having to give that one to my dad. He only lived about 2 years & it was 2 very hard years for him. I'm just not sure I could go through that again. ~sigh~ Hopefully the vet will have good news to offer, if he will just hang in there till tomorrow.
19:35 May 06 2008
Times Read: 955
Work is nuts today.
They are moving my office. Lack of planning things out before hand though. So half my office is sitting in a hall, has been all morning. The 1st hour this morning I had to sit on the table the postage machine is on. A chair would not fit under the desk. Okay so after that, I got annoyed & rigged everything to work on the side of the desk.
Really bad migraine today. The last few monthes have been nuts. Sold my Toyota Camry, because I like an infinity, then decided I didn't like it, sold it & to get a Tahoe, then hubby bought him a truck, then suddenly in one day, we get 2 different people. One wanted to buy the Tahoe, & one the Mazda truck. So he had just bought a chevy at an auction. So for a while that's what we both drove. So then his dad finds a honda in Charlotte while he's yard selling. So he get's that, brings it home & I actually like it. I think maybe I'll keep it for a while. I didn't like the Tahoe or Infinity much because simply I hadn't even thought about a loan since 99, so I tried it again, don't like it, & now remember why I try my best to avoid getting them.
My new camera came today. I'm glad I'm off work tomorrow. I need a break. Got to do the stress test Thursday at 5am. My heart aint even awake good at 5am..Oh well, that's life.
Almost break time. The volume of nicotine in my system I fear as dropped to an almost lethal amount. Of course not lethal to me, instead to the ones around me.
COMMENTS
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Oceane
23:08 May 31 2008
cut the salt. Lower as much as humanly possible the salt you ingest it helps slow down pressure which results in slowling down the heart.
borked
23:14 May 31 2008
Doing nothing about your heart is also an option. I think somehow all this stuff has sidetracked you from the reason you started in the first place. You suffer from being anxious.
SouthernFreak
23:23 May 31 2008
That's true borked, but I tried to just ignore it. I did for 5 years. When you have pain, & have no clue why, after a while, you just really want an answer to what is causing it. Plus I want to stop being tired all the time. I have no energy to do anything.
Sinora
00:10 Jun 01 2008
Hopefully the experts will have an answer for you x