Helpful advice15:35 Aug 05 2007
Times Read: 727
The author of this is Quick. He's a friend of mine. I thought the info was great so I decided to share it with others that were not on the site it was.
I wrote this about three years ago....and have posted it numerous times, but its not in myblogs section, so i thought i would re-add it. Trust me....there are enough guys out there that need to read this. If you are a woman, and your man needs help, feel free to print it up, and hand your man a copy. Enjoy everyone.
SIMPLE WAYS TO BECOME A BETTER LOVER
1) CREATIVITY - You should never be afraid of doing new things. Is your sex life predictable? Change it, and put some creativity into it. The way i see it, is that you should never know whats going to happen. Dont be afraid to venture outside the bedroom. Surely we can all agree that going to jail for the sake of "different" sex isnt really worth it, but being outdoors does have a certain appeal to it. I have found that garages work well, and if you have an enclosed back yard, that works just as well also. As simple as it is, sex in the shower is always a winner. When your partner is in there, just hop in and seduce him/her. Its not very hard to just think of something creative and just do it. with that in mind, we move to the next subject.
2) SPONTANEITY - There is no better sex than sex that is just spontaneous. It has a certain passion level that just isnt matched against sex that takes place at night when you both go to bed. Do you have a certain routine that you have fallen into over time? Its time to break that trend. When your partner comes home, dont bother with the formalities, no hello's no pecks on the cheek, no time to put things down like brief cases.....just grab him/her, and kiss that person like there is no tomorrow. Grab that person, and pin him/her against the wall, and start ripping clothes off. Its all in the name of doing it a little different. If you are out somewhere together.....send slight little flirtations across the room to eachother...walk by and grope eachother.....anythign that will get you both worked up.....then when you cant take it anymore.....find a place a close as possible that you can be alone, and just tear eachother apart. You should always be spontaneous.
3) CANDLE LIGHT - I brought this up in the last blog, but didnt really elaborate. Candle light is one of the single greatest mood setters you can possibly have. Most peopel have them on hand, and if you dont, they are relatively cheap. I could sit here all day and come up with senario's that involve candles, but for the sake of time, im just going to rattle off my favorites. The single greatest place for candles is while you are both soaking in a bath. (a little soft music doesnt hurt either) To me, there isnt anythign sexiesr that soaking in a really hot bath, with some candle light and some romantic music, while she lays against my chest and i trace the outline of her face with my fingertips. its just sexy as hell. Another idea has a little to do with #2. Have candles lit and the mood set before yoru partner comes home. Its a great environment to walk into, and that person should instantly be in the mood. As alex said, you want to be aware of where all candles are. In the heat of the moment, you might toss an article of clothing near one, and thats just not good. Nothing ruins a mood more than calling the fire department.
4) SENSITIVITY - The guys really need to read this one. It seems that every guy has some kind of macho complex that doesnt allow him to be sensitive. First of all, being sensitive doesnt take away from your masculinity. Second of all, its yoru duty as that persons lover to be everythign she ever wanted and more. Its okay to watch chick flicks. You might even find that you like them. Personally, movies that make me cry are my favorite. Its okay to be the person she comes to when shes upset. Just tale time to listen, and try to help the best way you know how. I promise that one day you will need that same shoulder to cry on, and you just may not get it.
Learn to touch her in ways that you havent shown her yet. She already knows that you can pull her hair and scratch her. Take time to trace her body with your fingertips.....being as gentle as possible. Find things that have different textures. Feathers are real fun. They are cheap, and easy to find.....and she will love the way it feels running up and down her body. Once again, be creative, and find the soft little things that she enjoys, and use them to your advantage.
5) TOYS - I know guys that are terrified of bringing toys into the bed because they are just petrified that they wont be able to compete. Guys? Dont sweat it. Women like to threaten us with the typical "you can always be replaced by a machine" speach, but what they are really doing is asking us to step up our game. You can use toys to yoru advantage. Take me for example. If im going at it for hours on end......sometimes i just need a short break to catch my breath....and regain my composure. And sometimes she just isnt ready to stop, so i have a "stunt dick" Its a dildo that looks and feels just like my own cock, and we use that as a "fill in" while im catching my breath. Also, you would be amazed at the different kinds of orgasms she is capable of when being stimulated in different way. Yes guys, she can have more than one kind of orgasm. Dont be afraid of bringing a few toys into bed, i promise you will have more fun than you think.
6) WILLINGNESS TO LEARN - Despite what you may think, you do not know everything about sex, and you more than likely arent the best she has ever had even if she does tell you that you are! You should always have the mindset that you are going to learn something new about the person you are with every day. There was a time when i thought that i was just the mack, and i would always be #1, but i was knocked right the fuck out of my tree by my ex, and from that moment on, i learned more with her, that with the 35 women prior to her. You have to put your macho side on hold, and admit that you dont know it all, and not be afraid to ask her questions, and i promise that you will end up a better lover in the end. With that said......#7 has a little to do with this topic.
7) OPENESS - In order to learn more about yrou partner, and to teach more to your partner, you have to be open. There was a time that i was ashamed of my fetishes, and i just couldnt bring myself to talk about them with the person i was with. I found over time that i just wasnt ever happy because i couldnt experiment with the things that i liked. If you feel like you cant open up to the person you are with about the things you like to do behind closed doors, than you dont need to be with that person. There is a certain amaount of give and take in a relationship, and this is one of those things. Some things need to be led up to, i can understand that.....so take baby steps and sooner or later you will get to the point that you can suggest anythign to your partner.
In conjunction with #7, you as the partner have to be understanding as well. Maybe a suggestion of his or hers isnt quite yoru cup of tea.....thats understandable.....but dont just completely shut the other person down, because if you do that, they will never feel comfortable enough to come to you with something they want. Im a different kind of person, there snt anythign that i wouldnt do to please the person i am with.....and im like that because i want the woman im with to feel okay with coming to me with some strange fetish. in most cases, it turns me on, and im all for it. I just dont have any fear, and i want the person im with to be happy.....so i will always be willing to try anythign once.
8) ROLEPLAYING - This is hands down one of the most fun things you can do if you havent done it already. Forget the little catholic school girl fantasies, lets do somethign a little more in depth and have some real fun. Leave the house in different cars, knowing only one thing, and thats the place where you will meet up, and what time. Once you get there, pretend like you dont know eachother. Take the time to make eye contact from across the room, and make an approach, buy him or her a drink, and introduce yourself. (any name will work as long as its not yoru own) have fun with it. You can make up what you do for a living, where you live, just about anything. Its great to just act goofy, and get that feeling of picking up a hot woman in a bar. (if you partner isnt hot.....i dont knwo what to tell you) just have fun......and when you finally "seduce her" back to your place, stay in character.....and it will open more doors to creativity in bed. Try it one day.....its fun!
9) PAYING ATTENTION - This is one of the single most important things you can learn. Most guys go down on a woman, and they are doing it just so that maybe they will get a blow job out of it, and thats the wrong attitude to have. First if all, as stated in the last blog, you need to not worry abotu what happens next, just focus on pleasing the person you are with. Pay attention to the sounds she makes, or the way she moves. These are all tell tale signs of what she wants. I know that instinct tells you to attck the clit with all the fury you have to offer, but for some women its a little too much. Pay attention......if shes moving in ways that make you feel like shes trying to tell you to lay off the clit for a while, then do it....and see what happens. On the other side, maybe she wants you to get on it a little harder. Just PAY ATTENTION and you will be amazed at what you can learn from her. If you vary speed, listen to see how she reacts, if you move to a different part of her body, pay attention, and you will knwo if she wants you there. As a decent rule of thumb, you shoudl always start out soft and work your way up to the rough stuff unless she says otherwise.
10) BE DYNAMIC - You shoudl always be growing and changing, both as a person and as a couple. When you start to be the same person day in and day out, you will eventually be that old couple on t.v. that hate eachother. You dont want to get bored with eachother. Everyday, you should make it a point to do something different. Dont become one of those peopel that follows the same pattern day in and day out....thats boring and it will make you single faster than you can imagine.
Finally......i dont claim to know it all.....i just thought i would toss a few things that i have learned over time out there so some people might become a little better to the person they are with. Everyone deserves perfect happiness....and that means no comprimises. Never comprimise your life and live in mediocrity. Do everything possible to make yourself happy....and never accept anythign that is sub par.....in your job, your personal life, in your private life.....in anything. Always expect the best, and never take second best!
QUICK
Please do not copy my shit and claim it as your own.
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