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I feel as though me and my friends are drifting apart.

I feel as though that this has been happening for a long while. Possibly the beginning of the school year.

I feel I dont have a best friend anymore, but now, common friends. No real friend. No real good friend. Just.. people that I can tollerate talking to for short periods at a time.

I am unhealthy; slowly killing myself off by making unhealthy choises.

I've been taking things in differently too; I get a different reaction out of myself whenever something bad happens now. I'm going prehistoric with it though.

In this way, I feel like I did when I was in ellementary school; choises; reactions; silence; ect.

I dont -like- anybody. Nobody is worth liking right now. Spineless, irritated, snappy, non loyal..

Morals mean nothing to these people at school right now it seems. Morals ARE nothing. They dont care about themselves, nor their loved ones, nor friends. They dont care, so they'll carry on with something they know will have a horrible outcome in the long term.

For right now; any horrible outcome in the long term that happens to anybody; I will not shed my concent on that person. I've already given up half my mind and heart into trying to help, and there is only so much you can give to yourself untill you start having to grab back to yourself, and be greedy-- keeping anymore of yourself being ungratefully thrown up again.



I'll sit here. And I'll wait. We'll drift, and I'll cry. It will happen how it falls into play, because I've done my part- but it isnt desteny as of right now.

I'm dangerous right now. I hate everybody and everything for every reason.

I HATE EVERYTHING!!

*fume fume*

This week I've been very .. violent.. or dangerous.. whichever you'd like to think of it as... and I dont even know why.. I'm not very stressed like I was last month.. or the month before.. Stress wise, I'm much better. I havnt hurt myself, or dug my nails into my self for a while, and, I havnt even called myself any nasty names. I've just been violent.



I can hear Irvin now... He's.. very cocky turns out.. Still so sweet, but.. a little dark and full of himself.. I never figured Irvin to be the dark, sarcastic type... I thought he'd be more bubbly than that.

...wait, sarcastic I knew...



I still love him though...



I got to stop being so violent..

more than that, I need to fix my damn repellent.



It's not like I want to be around everybody, because it's not. I would like to be allone, thank you, but my invisibillity is working better than expected, and my repellent is over the roof...



I wonder if it's because of rumors..

or.. feelings...

or..

I wonder why, really...



It saddens me, but not too much..

I dont want to be around people anyway..