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Ok...this is what's upsetting me today.



life.



listen here; when i was a kid...my decisions were of..very little consequence. somehow...i seem to have had all of the time in the world...i could go to school, play on sports teams, stay in good shape, see friends, be with family...all without really giving it any thought...and i still had time to do whatever the hell i wanted with my ample spare time.



things have been going downhill since then. at this point...every decision seems to be turning my life around at sharp angles to where it was previously going. my time is torn between many things...friend, family, work, school, a pitiful struggle to get some exercise. i have to schedule everything and inevitably i run out of hours for something.



the obvious way that this is heading...is that i'm going to have to eliminate things...because i can't keep doing everything this half-assed. things will have to be cut. i've already got my list of friends stripped down to a pitifully low number of ones that i actually associate with. the family is becoming more and more cast away. work seems to be a major focus..but i'm so goddamn distracted i'm hardly getting anything done. my work out efforts keep getting thwarted by massive bouts of exhaustion.



soon i'm going to have school to contend with as well, and work is about to get fiercer, which means that friends will be eliminated, family will be thrown in the gutter, i'll bounce between work/school and the gym...sleeping at work, showering at the gym...like some sort of over-worked hobo.



i'm...not pleased.

going to have to make another one of those life-altering choices which i passionately hate.