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boohoo...I have too much work to do and no one likes me and I just want to spend all day in the goddamn shower.



I have an unbearably stiff neck from all of the time i've spent at the desk working on reports and clicking over to mess around here on vampire rave.



On one hand..maybe i'd finish faster if i really put my mind to it and worked on the reports



On the other, more realistic hand, without the distractions I might actually think about the content of the reports and then I'd certainlly go mad and just go play with a chain saw or something and then I wouldnt get anything done at all..

at least none of the things that are on my current agenda...and in chainsaw weilding state, i doubt i'd bother to first cross out the items on my current agenda and replace them with new goals...

no...chainsaw-me wouldnt get a bit of work done.



so we're stuck with vampire rave checking stiff neck having whining internet journal writing in me



yes. this is a worthless entry, but someday i'll look back on it and smirk a little...and that might be the closest thing to a smile i get that day if i'm reading my own journal...so i owe it to myself to document this.

Ok. So I've been working in a slow half-assed manner all day on a project that bores me. I decided to have half a bag of cheesy crackers for dinner and then I started getting sugar-cravings real bad...so I had a scoop of ice cream.

Now, I have several problems that cause me to have to limit my sugar-intake or else I get cranky/horribly ill/unconcious and I already had some ice cream earlier today, sO I wanted to stop at a scoop.

Then I had another scoop...

Then I realized that I still had some russel stover caramel & marshmallow eggs leftover from easter...so i ate one...

It wasn't enough for some reason...

So i got another one, ate it all, but as I took the last bite I realized what I was doing and how I was going to suffer for it...so I spit out that bite and quickly went to the bathroom and made myself throw up.

I HATE throwing up.

I feel so dysfunctional right now...I'm trying to adjust my diet to make myself well...but it's fucking hard and It's making me WEIRD about food and...



blah blah blah i'm just venting because if i tell anyone who actually knows me about this they'll be asking me about it for the next year and possibly forever...I want to discuss it with people who dont really give a fuck and dont feel compelled to pretend to..