Out of Sight?
Out of mind?
Out of seemingly favorable sands of time?
Out without the feathers plume
Outstretched over the currents thick volume?
Out of breath of flying such
Outworn cross-winds that beat as much?
Outwardly inwards that gashing cut
Outscathing whispers of loving's love-pup?
Out wondering lost in finding trusted pain
Outnumbered in measuring one's gain?
Outthinking yourself in not thinking at all
Out placing a certainty on a wall?
Outdone in not doing what is expected
Out me out myself, that is Slain interjected?
Out memoried
Out planned
Out valued and Out-Sold
and plain Shut Out as suspected.
---Easy on the translations, I just felt better after writing it.
lol Took me like what? 20 minutes? Oy.
In the long, dragging and pain filled days that i spend without my daughter... and will spend, I know I am missing out on a lot of her life.
In the end only two people will give a fuck about that.
Me, and Her.
But No... Today... Kyrah did something for me, that I never would have expected. Something I only dreamed of ever coming true, due to how much time keeps being stolen from us. She made me cry then... and I cry now as I type this... Because it was something I thought I would never be able to get back.
She made my soul smile in a way it had not done for quite some time... and the most beautiful thing about it... is that I got to share that moment. I got to share that moment with someone who understands how much that meant to me and how lucky and beautiful that was.
I love you, Little Foot.
This is by no means, a play for attention and phishing for queries as to WHY my kismet says what it says.
That being said...
I refer you to my Kismet.
COMMENTS
....Tards...
LMFAOOOOOO
motherfucker. thats the last time im going to care about you stomps feet and storms off
You missed the point entirely, SweetHeart. lol
Oh.. and i guess you don't know me that well if you actually believed that I would
1- Every write something like that and Mean it.
2- Actually do it.
LMFAO
Fuck Off Sir!! lol
You're fuckered.
I was like...what the fuck happened, jerk!
Ian, wants to make your scream!
See below:
veauclin ksmet
IM GOING TO BUM RAPE SLAIN AND MAKE HIM SCREAM 4 REAL
oh he will squeel like a piggy:))))). FUCK OFF SIR!!!!!!!!!!! by the way slain you have a pretty mouth :P
Bwhaah..
It's PURTY MOUF you sick fuck. lol
and NO.
I'll leave the Flaming to you, the Luminescent TORCH!
::snorts::
come along now you know you want you mouf filling :)) be a good boy and open up
oh and my kismet reads: I'm SERIOUSLY about to FUCKING LEAVE VR!!!!! DEAD SERIOUS, 4 reel.
since im gonna change it anyway lol
Veau... you be a good boy and aim it in a shot glass. Then help yourself.
Let me know how that goes. LMAO
not really into drinking my own usually leave it in a sock ahahahahahahaha
true but which fucker spelled it wrong in the first place ?? shrugs
LMFAO you'd think that the "4" would have been a hint that i spelled it like that on purpose.
:P
dude im thick as pig shit i dont pick up on stuff like that
Ford Explorer... One Thousand Two Hundred Dollars.
Filling the Tank... Sixty Five Dollars.
I know SHIT about Systems... so...
Four Speaker System Installed in the Trunk... Two Hundred and Forty Dollars.
New Radio Install... 30 Dollars.
Having drivers Try and FAIL to drown out my music with their systems... as I'm Parked in front of my house and blast Disney for my daughter to watch her dance like a loon.
Priceless.
COMMENTS
Very nicely done
now thats just sweet :)
Fuck yeah!
hahahah awesome :))))))))
Seems like the weather is going to be pretty good today...
How much can be done?
Or should I say, am "Allowed" to do.
Permission. Ask for it.
There's a nice concept.
Especially for an adult.
God, you've come far. Don't be offended, you're not supposed to be reading this anyway.
Tut tut!!! Get off here before you become yourself again!
Aphorism - For the Deafened Ear and Veiled Eye.
Let me help...
~aph·o·rist
[af-er-ist]
noun
a person who makes or uses aphorisms.
~aph·o·rism
[af-uh-riz-uhm] Show IPA
noun
a terse saying embodying a general truth, or astute observation, as “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” (Lord Acton).
Now... that's better.
Moving on...
"Aphorisms are essentially an aristocratic genre of writing. The aphorist does not argue or explain, he asserts; and implicit in his assertion is a conviction that he is wiser and more intelligent than his readers."
--W.H. Auden
I, unfortunately, like to explain. It would seem that I may just like wasting my time and energy. or perhaps I find the lull of my own thinking so overly pleasing that I meander in endless thought over the most useless of things; My Existence, Being and how I behave and act towards others. Nevertheless, staking a claim in being such an interesting type of person, an Aphorist for those of you already lost, is not in the cards just yet.
My life, my world, is an open door. Many walk in and out. Some come in normally, others announce themselves loudly before ever arriving at my door, and yet still, some others like to break down a wall and enter that way. Which is fine, since its all metaphorical anyway.
All are welcome and respected. To a small degree, the increase in respect is to be earned. But I am civil and show courtesy as I would enjoy similar treatment. Alas, when I am not you will very soon find out that being a part of my life will be a very confrontational and irritating experience. Since I don't take kindly to any sort of attempts to take advantage of me or ridicule me.
Now... The meat of this piece... You decide that I am worth nothing to you and that walking out of my life is easy, next to you wiping your arrogant nose, then be warned: I do nor say anything that I at any point in my life will ever, ever regret. Why? well... that's the trick isn't it? And not at all the point of my "assertion". I let you in because I thought I could benefit from your existence. Yes, I'll be cold in my description, no point in adding emotion to plain, hard, axioms.
You can mean something to me, or you can be a story of how I learned something new about myself and how I will, from that point on, deal with people such as yourself. Either way, I reap a benefit. Whether or not you are there to share in the benefit is absolutely up to you.
Lo and behold, you step out of my life and years or months later decide that you are bored and wish my company to entertain you for a short while because something lacks in your current choice of living, or something in your life has taken a break from you. Oh, i'll be civil and even more or less welcoming. Then you move on to tell me how I've changed. No. you have changed my perception of you, and thus I mold myself accordingly so that I may shield myself from your childish lashings for when they occur. There is no second chance. I've already stuck my hand in the fire. I know it's very pretty, and I know it burns.
I let you leave, and I let you return. I don't force you to do a damn thing... nor even attempt to guide you in a decision that will benefit me. That would be a hollow move on my part, and I have my pride.
All in all... you hurt yourself. Don't come expecting me to tell you its alright. Because it isn't. Your childish antics and naive decision making while the truth is in front of you, is an unforgivable act. You've branded yourself in my eyes and heart, forever.
If the past doesn't serve as enough proof, let me be more clear. You clearly ask of me to clear and cut you from my memory. I will bow, turn and whisper into the wind, "As you wish..." That is my thought. That is my promise, that is my Honor. The length of silence means nothing to me when I'm not the one who's chosen it.
And like I've said before, if in my life I am to take a step forward and you do not wish it to be along side you, then trust and believe I will step Over you. Or if need be, I will Step on and crush you, so that I may move forward and learn from what it felt like to need to tread on your existence.
So understand what you ask of me, and rest assured you will receive it. Because that is all I can give you as my last respectful act as a friend or companion.
~~~~~~
They say that Conviction is a Luxury reserved for those far from battle. I respectfully call bullshit. There is no reason to ever let yourself think something if you are not actually affected by it. In Turn... if doesn't strike a personal chord, shut the fuck up and move along.
I know what I feel when I make a decision and I know why I have the beliefs that I do. Do you? Or were you taught to systematically and automatically react to things, just because they are morally acceptable or unacceptable in your clique? If you can't think for yourself, don't make a decision that affects many. That is called self serving. A selfish and childish way to live life. Affecting, hurting and consuming others, as you have YET to find yourself as a person, and a human being. If you are lost, so be it. But that doesn't mean drag everyone else along with you. A walking contradiction, is a walking disaster. Homes cannot be built where catastrophe tends to make its bed.
COMMENTS
You're an amazing person, if someone actually takes the time to learn about you...
You know...get past the ASSHOLE Slain, lol.
How did I come through your door??
I know...it was like sliding into home plate!
Move over friend...I'm staying!
Pass the fucking popcorn too...
Any attempt to wake me would have been better than none at all...
::sighs::
During one of our better nights...
Well... if THAT didn't set my mood for the day.
...are they just that? Or do they mean a lot more than what is said when you are not careful?
"Never meant to be"
Often said. Yet, never understood. You can't half say something. You cannot half mean it. It either is or isn't.
Variables are just that. But in the end... even the variables are a certainty. They affect or they don't.
Lets stop pretending like these words don't apply.
If this was never mean to be. Then I was never meant to be her father.
I dare someone to say differently, when words are NEVER considered carefully.
I was promised that certain things would NEVER be done to me. And they were. I guess that kinda negates the meaning of "never" Huh?
Where 5 months of a child growing attached to a man who is not her father because he is there... are MORE important,
than the 4 months that the same child did not see her willing father.
I guess this is what being an adult in this age, means. To make the most fucked up decisions simply because you never knew nor was offered better in your own childhood.
I'm sorry. But... i was raised differently. Let thing be.
Because they were "meant to be"
if that makes any sense at all...
Apparently, as I've lived and grown, and understood that there is a wealth of things I've yet to learn; I've come across an entire world of things I didn't know, I didn't know.
And as I learn these things... Gashes and lacerations are permanent reminders left upon the surface of my heart.
My convictions become pliable, when my heart takes over my mind's eye. And... I fall. I fall hard and I fall far.
So... keep me close... those of you who actually feel nothing for me. At least I gain something from it.
And as for me. Every last fucking decision I've ever made has been with someone else in mind. Don't ask me why. I'm just that dumb.
But when and if I do decide to take a step in my life... and it can't be along side you then rest assured you'll be wondering why I've stepped ON... or OVER you, and gone on.
I've things to accomplish and create.
This pain is enough.
COMMENTS
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