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Slain's Journal


Slain's Journal

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28 entries this month
 

Hollow

22:57 Jan 31 2015
Times Read: 918


Worth is measured by choice.



A friend will never be, they who praise and compliment me without knowing who I am.



It's easy to stand proud when your strength comes from a glimpse based validation.



Why question what sounds good?


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13:41 Jan 31 2015
Times Read: 946


is it actually personally acceptable to claim so much about your personality, soul, morals, your very essence of being...



and be the absolute antithesis behind closed doors?



Is that... stable? Is anything.... true?


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if the clown shoe fits...

19:48 Jan 28 2015
Times Read: 985






 photo post-25067-And-Here-We-Go-Joker-gif-Imgur-x71M_zpsmmvxdqvz.gif


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TheArtistRose
TheArtistRose
15:17 Jan 31 2015

LOL





 

Just another frame...

06:32 Jan 27 2015
Times Read: 1,012




Stolen kisses, pretty lies

You're the king baby I'm your queen

Find out what you want

Be that girl for a month




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19:11 Jan 26 2015
Times Read: 1,028


Second day in a row of watching Strange Magic with my daughter in theater.



and she tells me this is her favorite song. hahaha. She only headbanged during this part. Nothing major. Right?



LMFAO





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02:17 Jan 22 2015
Times Read: 1,045


Dancing...

Singing...

Good music

Dancing lessons?

Like... outside with people?!?

Good music

DANCING!?

More good music.



Did I mention DANCING!?



Excuse me while I-- FUCK YES!!


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frozenVheart
frozenVheart
13:46 Jan 31 2015

U forgot the most important thing.. U will never guess... It is DANCING... Lol





 

Honor

01:55 Jan 20 2015
Times Read: 1,061


Similar to a bottomless pit of disappointment in yourself and an unwavering sense of worthlessness may wash over you when a person you respect and hold in such high regard, displays an utter lack of the latter when it comes to your person.



Every moral not questioned, but attacked with disdain and mocked for its standing.



Every feeling waved off in response to not reflecting their emotions on any matter, and every gesture treated like a passing breeze at the most opportune time.



Various reasons, perhaps, are there for this. Neglect, carelessness, hatred; A general dislike of who you are as a person. What you may or may not have done.



You never know, and probably may not ever get to know.



But do you know... why you feel so strongly about this person? Why do you respect them so much? Why does the idea of ever insulting their intelligence just makes you shudder? Why does lying to them seem like such a horrid waste of valuable time? What about them, pulled that sense of Honoring, appreciation for the person that they are?



What would you do if you knew for certain what their reasons were?





A part of your soul may die with that experience. You start to feel hollow. Mourn that naive part in you that no longer lives.

You'll live. I guarantee you that.



Isn't that enough?


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01:20 Jan 19 2015
Times Read: 1,080


Just in time to add to the bullshit. It was only almost a year. I'm sure that'll make a ripple in an ocean of acts.


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Slain
Slain
04:28 Jan 19 2015

Or lack there of.





 

The art of loving while unloved.

13:38 Jan 18 2015
Times Read: 1,097


Can you live loving being strung along?



and



Greatest of Rhyme.


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22:42 Jan 15 2015
Times Read: 1,117


The moment you start comparing me to your past is the moment I start to question it.


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05:43 Jan 14 2015
Times Read: 1,129


Hall om mig nu...


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01:10 Jan 14 2015
Times Read: 1,137


That was impressively refreshing.



Were I overly arrogant and egotistical, I'd say that I seek like-minded individuals and gravitate towards them at all times.



I however, am not, and do not.



I can't learn something new from those that have the same thoughts as me.



In finding that another expresses certain things, in a manner similar to what I've kept within me, it does in fact make me feel, less alone.



Validated, in a way, by a complete stranger.



That metaphorical smile and nod in my direction, differs greatly from the ridicule and mockery that I receive for being who I am.



Absolutely refreshing.



and all I want to ask is... what makes them believe in what they do, and why.



Not only to learn about them, but to teach myself how a different soul, can see the same things that I do.



knowledge.


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00:52 Jan 14 2015
Times Read: 1,142


well. I sure didn't mean to do that. LMFAO. Woops



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00:24 Jan 13 2015
Times Read: 1,162


Do you know what drowning feels like?


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TheArtistRose
TheArtistRose
00:30 Jan 13 2015

Anxiety?





Slain
Slain
00:38 Jan 13 2015

Heh. Possibly.






 

Butterfly Kisses...

00:17 Jan 13 2015
Times Read: 1,165


Yesterday...



She sat there, toiling away, so focused so determined. I watched as I sat behind her. She worked away on the coffee table as I shaped a piece of clay as she had asked of me. As we sat there, I put on soft music that she'd know from listening to it for so many years before. All having to do with her.



One of the songs finally got to me, and tears rode my cheek as I silently worked away, still watching her. She stopped and looked up at the source of the song and cried out "I love this song! And I LOVE butterfly kisses!" I chuckled and a tear sped down my hot skin. She turned around and looked at me, and I quickly tried to wipe it away and smiled at her. She stood up, and just read me. Looked right through me... she saw all of the pain i was trying to hide. I couldn't say a word. Her eyes just said to me, "I know you need me..." And her lips smiled as I heard that sweet familiar voice. "And now, I'm going to give you, a bunch of them!"



My heart leaped, I gasped for air and thanked god that she was so much faster at climbing my lap and embracing me tightly, than the cascade of tears that was struck from my eyes at that moment. My glasses instinctively removed as I dried my face and her angelic eye lashes touched my skin as she hugged tighter. She was oddly silent... and I was shaking. She felt it. Snuggled tighter... curled up and just lay there, on me. clinging to my neck... closing her eyes, as Butterfly Kisses was coming to an end.



That eternity only lasted about an hour, her holding and whispering "I love you, Dad. I love you so much and I miss you.", every time she fought sleep and her grip around me answered by getting just a bit stronger.



I could have died like this.



...



I wish I had.


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Hmm hmm.

21:32 Jan 10 2015
Times Read: 1,185


Like the kid that wants to help the adult painting the walls with the brush from their little paint set.


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10:47 Jan 10 2015
Times Read: 1,189


The possibility of my being home was taken quite seriously.


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silence in place of war.

23:41 Jan 09 2015
Times Read: 1,198


I don't normally do trends but I'll bite.



‪#‎jesuischaplin‬



there.


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20:30 Jan 06 2015
Times Read: 1,214







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20:06 Jan 06 2015
Times Read: 1,216



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19:28 Jan 06 2015
Times Read: 1,220


You have no idea how the message in that makes me fucking shudder.



:: shakes head::



We are what we choose to be.



If you're at war with yourself due to that... you're on your own.



I know I've been.


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19:23 Jan 06 2015
Times Read: 1,223


...But you'll come back each time you leave...


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08:31 Jan 06 2015
Times Read: 1,233


Tea... I want tea.


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16:59 Jan 03 2015
Times Read: 1,239


I can't even count the mornings.



Because... I can't think of one that's counted.



Just who am I kidding?


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12:10 Jan 03 2015
Times Read: 1,245


I was right.



how much I dislike being right, is becoming a pastime.



Heh.


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quien

22:51 Jan 02 2015
Times Read: 1,255


Time to go deal with near 12 hours of that fun... and come back to...


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A journal to shake your head at?

11:06 Jan 02 2015
Times Read: 1,281


isn't this what I do best?



When I write to myself to pretend someone hears.



I'd never wish this on another.


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GettoSuperStar
GettoSuperStar
11:13 Jan 02 2015

Your a FUCKING IDIOT!



Look I made it bold so you could see it you dumb fuck!





Slain
Slain
21:05 Jan 02 2015

You're*





 

Well... that's new.

01:39 Jan 01 2015
Times Read: 1,216


I admire the honesty. It's almost inspiring.


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