...so I argue and argue with my love. Trying to make her, force her, to understand my point of view. Idiotic i know. But hey at that moment (yesterday night)...that was all that i was... An idiot on the verge of driving his poor love completely insane. I kept yelling at her, everytime that she didn't make any sense to me. Telling me to help her then pushing me away. I need to stop, she is afraid of her parents and I'm with my whole soul am trying to make her understand she has nothing to fear. Right great job i'm doing... of course she's nothing to fear... cuz I'm re-directing that fear straight towards myself. That show my honed powers of turning things inside out and back-asswards! I've been trying to help her, but make things even harder for her with every damn breath that escapes my lips. I've been wracking my mind trying to accomplish everything that she has asked and wished for, but she fears her parents TOO MUCH. I can't stand that... her parents have been everything but helpfull and loving to her most of her life, and now that's all she's used to... I try to tell he to do something that is against their wishes and she flips on me completely. But still, i've not been in her situation in any way, so I've just made it even more dificult for her to even try to think about us. I'm doing a really sucky job at helping her at this moment, and listening to the words "Leave me alone, i'll take care of it" is harder than I could have imagined...
I yelled and screamed and fought with her all yesterday. And when i hope i'd see her to tell ehr i'm sorry but she's just decided to avoid me altogether. I've really f-ed up this time, though I can't think of anything else to do for her, i keep on forcing my mind to try to help her. School is impossible for me because i can't think of anything else. Its ridiculous what her parents can do to us so easily, they sit at home and tell her what do while we argue our relationship away! That is what i want to stop... be she think all my ideas qoute "never work". Which reasonably...hurts when she had told me she had faith in what i said... I need some help. I can't stand fighting with her... i feel like its breaking her slowly apart not only mentalyl but physicaly aswell... I'm killing her slowly, i need to think.
(to you readers)
If you've bothered to read this far, then please leave a helpfull message if you chose to give me some advice... I'm about to really go insane.
COMMENTS
-