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How much can one endure; what is the limit the mind has set upon itself, when the mind starts to turn every last conviction, into your own worst doubt?





My Ego does not like this question. It is even further displeased with the fact that I have come as far as to contemplate it. Even now, it reaches out for outside influence as I write this. It doesn't want me to question it; then again, who really wants to ask questions and admit that they really don't know themselves as well as they'd want everyone to believe? Anyway, I am, and have. That's a certainty.





Perception. Everything depends on it. A rather frightening thought indeed. Whether it be a straight-arrowed point of view, or the most eccentric, improbably angle. Its all based on Perception. Not only is the perspective of an individual that matters but also how adamantly one chooses to advocate such views. You've all seen it; arguments, discussions, compromises and disagreements, and all posed with two distinct backbones: Emotion or Logic.





Ah, but which is key? Would I be right to assume that the most learned scholar would say Logic? Or perhaps dare say, the most devoted romantic would choose Emotion? When is each suitable? When is neither? Is that even possible? Whose response is the most logical? Who decrees an emotional or as I would say, a Passionate reaction adequate? In an interaction between two people, who is to say whose other reaction is logical enough or too Passionate for any one situation? Again, the circle or perspective ensues.







Food for thought ex- "...our convoluted past into account, I sat there and grit my teeth as he grinned at me as if he were untouchable. I could. I could do it. I'd get up during their conversation about nothing, to get a glass of water from the pitcher on the counter behind the couch he sat on in that small but cozy apartment. Walk over stand behind him and pull out my butterfly knife that i've been playing with all night in the open, so it wouldn't be a sudden change of character and gain me an Ill timed reaction, possibly resulting in saving his life. Grab his hair tightly and securely and plainly stab, puncture and otherwise proceed to slit his throat open slow enough to savor the deed but not so that more than yell and scream in horror could be done. Holding his hair, listening to his gagging on the blade itself, the blood pouring down my fingers that held the knife so tightly that the blood never seeps through to my palm. His wife either screaming in horror or disbelief, his daughters screeching and nauseated at this point. Though I would wonder why his one daughter would be so horrified at the end of the person who's plagued her so. Listening to his neck open wider as I rip through muscle and cut through cartilage and saw against bone in an attempt to surely decapitate the motherfucker. His wife's lamentations would be exquisite, but... the headache is not worth it. The screaming would be too obvious and my enjoyment would be cut short, not to mention the fact that I want the peace and quite to bathe his wife in his own blood for poesy. The blood, oh the blood. Though pleasing the smell may be, and the warmth of it quickly turning ice cold as it rushes over my hand would be welcome; again, too troublesome and hard to clean after wards. The staining effect of plasma is not something I am fond of. My vengeance would be too swift, my prey too easily taken, and will not slake my lust for his and his wife's pain. Lastly, I just did my nails in Black nail polish. Two coats at that with a Hard as Nails coating. The incessant scrubbing and washing would ruin the finish."-- "Sure! I love French Onion dip!"





Simply, I hold in high regard those that don't singularly devote their convictions to one extreme of such spectrum, but also understand that perspective plays a statuesque role in not only their own interest, but the interest of the opposing view. In other words kiddies, put yourself in their shoes! How can there be a correct or incorrect emotional reaction or argument, based solely on a singular aspect of a confrontation? Let alone a logical decision be made based on less than minimal facts when one refuses to learn new information? I quote Spock proudly as I say, "This is simply, illogical."





Its a form of manipulation no less.



I can easily turn from a passionate reaction into a logical decision. Gauging the importance of the situation and control my reaction and response to the best of my ability at that moment. One could hardly say that any Emotional reaction taken after that point is emotional at all. Right? Am i so fascinated with my logic for passion, that in being passionate about logic, I, in tragedy, lose all reason? In retrospect, this probably should have been titled "Version of Sociopath."