The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

absent
09:37 May 09 2006
Times Read: 754

Blood red nails

upon skin of white

stark and bare

cutting, biting

exposing the one

beneath

all of me

revealed

in the expanse

of red

my life....

my essence

leaking forth

pouring, flowing

ebbing away

as I stare

out.

at a view

at nothing

a mix of colors

blurring

blending

in to a coherent

nothing.

that is me

that is all

it is finished.



Athena

May 2006

Obsession Lost
07:57 May 09 2006
Times Read: 757

When love...

once professed

is smote

quickly in a turn

all that one

once confessed

denied

and deftly spurned.

Those before

by lust possesed

with logic

smartly burn...

all that once

was...

is quickly lost

and the future

now returns.

By the pain

I now endure

another's loss

I learn.



Athena

May 2006

Poetry written Dec. 2004
21:50 May 08 2006
Times Read: 759

Poetry December 2004



A Prayer



Left... Right... Left... Right

Repeating

My steps propelling me forward

Trepidation, Anticipation

Fear of the unknown



Left...

A heavy burden weighs me down

My feet drag as pain laces through me

uninvited

claiming my body as it’s own

I pray for my burden to be lifted

I pray for release from the pain



Right...

The pain is gone

the suffering has ceased

challenges arise

quickly overcome

and I forget.



Left...

Night descends

an oppressive darkness

upon the wind

the cold comes

to freeze my soul

silent tears pour through me

and I reach out my hand

for comfort to endure

to last through the night

I pray for release



Right

1...2...3...4

Front Back Go!

A whistle blows

now Go! Go! Go!

Time is gone

and I forget



Left... Right... Left... Right

an orange horizon

turns dark once more

I plod on

I have been reduced

to putting

one foot in front of the other

through my head

a litany

Left... Right... Left... Right

I follow

but I am lost

I pray for peace.



Athena Dec ‘04



I left to escape

but life followed

A clean slate

to start anew

the solution, so simple

but life followed

I left to escape.

Athena Dec ‘04



How do I act?

When my heart is gone

My actions,

what do they say?

How do I speak,

When there is nothing?

Athena Dec’04



Emptiness carries within

a promise

usefullness

a purpose

marble contains

within

a statue

as white paper

holds a poem

within

an artist can see

the painting

on a piece

of white canvas

Nothingness

holds the promise

of everything

Athena Dec '04



I want to cry

but I can't

and I don't know why

I have no reason

for my sadness

if sadness is what I feel

perhaps instead

it is melencholy

A breath...

once in

then out

an eternal state

where time stands still

no meaning

no reason

All within your vision

nothing

color. shape.

but no discerning

description can make

no pain

or pleasure

meloncholy

lack of emotion

sad in it's intent

emptiness

in truth

nothing

I sleep on

but I do not dream.

Athena Dec '04



A sadness grips my heart

trivial in the shadow

of the calamities

that befalls others

shame

that I would grieve

when the death

I mourn

is so minor

and so I repress

my tears

and my longing

increases

for a time

now long past

A past,

that long ago

should have been laid to rest

In my shame

My pain

has manifested

within me

a monster

of desire

a longing

for that which is gone.

I must mourn

I must cry

At long last

I must say my goodbye.

Athena Dec '04



Hate

An icy coldness grips my heart

a slow progression

it seems as it starts

a numb obsession

for me to bear

As time grows on

I come to care

and nurture my burden

relish the pain

as hate becomes vengence

and all feelings the same

the ice then shatters

there is nothing to see

as hate becomes

my new identity.

Athena Dec '04



Self Portrait

Reflections

of my friends

intermingle

a collage

of colorfull

pictures

seen from afar

blurs into my

self portait.

Athena Dec'04

3 Poems written in January 2005
21:47 May 08 2006
Times Read: 760






Poetry written January 2005



Home

A deep feeling within

a beckoning call

of welcome

Returning to the source

an unexplained

feeling of concern

and love

Peace

an explanation

to explain

is not forthcoming

it simply is

the heart recognizes

the road home.

Athena Jan ' 05



A binger's Lament

I pursue love

to nourish my soul

as I consume food

to ensure my survival

I attend gourmet meals

and savor each flavor

upon my tongue

My desires for taste

overide the body's need

as with love

I fail to see

how my meals

could be bad for me

until I realize

My jeans don't fit

the image in the mirror

makes me feel like shit

though I require

this food to survive

I ignore the signals

my body provides

and continue to consume

through the pain

in the dark

I hide my shame

and eat and eat

I can not stop

my food becomes

my poisen

I buy each book

and try each fad

a diet

on the rebound

each attempt

worsens my self image

a failure to kick

my bad habit

starving through the day

I return home

and can not stop eating

though I need to throw up

I pick up the phone

and feed my addiction

for unrequited love.

Athena Jan '05



Escape

Longing for the past

escaping to a world

of memory.

A creation

of perfection

in the mind

a delusion

to seclude

me

from the world

how enticing

and inviting

my imagination has become.

In a world

full of reality

and sorrows

less and less hope

for our tomorrows

is it any wonder I seek

escape?

Athena Jan '05



Addiction

My name is

and I'm an addict.

addicted to pleasure

pain

and video games

knowledge, books

and naughty looks

addicted to my dreams

of the future

and memories

of the past

to loves lost

and all my what ifs

I'm addicted to fear

and beer

goodwill and good cheer

to fantasy and my imagination

Just like the rest

of my generation

I'm addicted to escape

My name is

and I'm an addict.

Athena Jan '05

A rare happy moment
21:46 May 08 2006
Times Read: 761






A new old Poem



Blank walls



fall away



to endless blue sky



a sensation



to the eye



white clouds



billow slowly



playing with



their shadows



upon golden fields



of heather



and wild flowers



decorating lush



green hills



endlessly rolling



the wind



dances gaily



stirring the flowers



and carrying their scent...



To tantalize the senses



rippling the water



streaming through



smooth stones, pebbles



and sentries of stone



standing guard



at the entrance



to my heaven.



Athena Sep ‘03

A new poet
21:43 May 08 2006
Times Read: 762








Two of my four... past relationships expressed through the art of the Indian poet Amaru from the Amarushataka, or the one hundred love poems of Amaru-



These two men and the relationships I had with them remind me of each other. They brought me happiness, sadness and many lessons learned.



16



Stupidly, out of



sheer wickedness-



my face turned in grief-



you embrace me.



What does cheating get?



It comes down to this-



your chest



streaked with tawny



paste from your girlfriends breasts



now smudged with



oil from my braid ends.



30



Dawn after dawn



our lovemaking



took, the sleep from my eyes



A weight lifted.



For once my heart felt light.



Now what have you done?



Go- you are foolish and miserable



and death no longer scares me.



One day you may hear



down which road



I’ve decided to go.



38



Love’s bond is broken.



The heart’s high



passion has waned.



Even truth is a ghost



when that man



walks past like someone unknown.



Days long vanished rise up



dear friend to haunt me



and why this heart



doesn’t splinter into a hundred shards



who can tell?



52



Unhappy women



have used tears, threatening oaths



even collapse



to prevent a lover



from traveling.



Darling, I’m a pluckier girl.



Good luck and for your



early departure



I hope an auspicious day.



After you’re gone you may hear



what I see fit to do with my



love life



These obviously do not explain the whole story, and I am now friends with both men. However each of these poems express better than I could feelings I felt during these relationships. At least the darker periods of each. The Numbers are they number they are listed under in the 100. I have not read the whole collection yet. These just touched me a struck a chord.



Enjoy a look at a new poet.



Athena

Stolen Painting
20:37 May 06 2006
Times Read: 765

Incomplete

a desire , a need

a longing

for what I can not have

a pain, hollowness

nothing left

but pieces.



How do I recreate

a picture

I have forgotten

something

long ago replaced?

By something new

something wonderful.



a Stolen work

Now Destroyed

Gone.

How can I accept the

Loss

of something so

precious.

How do I?

Pick up the pieces

and create again

A new picture?



Athena

September 15, 2003







I went through a writing phase where I liked to compare my suffering to art....the creation and loss of it. This is an allegory to breking up with my boyfriend at the time.

Reflection in the Mirror
20:23 May 06 2006
Times Read: 766

The reflection

like the sight

of a distant portrait

sits.

A painted face

blank eyes stare out

from the work...



A talented artist

nothing left

of the canvas beneath

revealed

or the former piece

of finer taste

the garish presentation

sits quietly

Staring...



Unable to remove

the ghastly sight,

the numbness... it builds

Induced by a drugless form

by the past

by what the future has become

This Painted Figure

This Reflection.



Athena

September 2003