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I've been offline for a little while. The past couple of weeks has been eventful to say the very least. My partner had another accident on the tanker job. He walked away "again" for the 3rd time without any injury, which is rare when you're hauling caustic chemical. He was not particularly at fault on this third incident but was let go from his job even though the incident revealed some serious issues with the receiver's responsibility for unloading the product.

We treated it as a welcome vacation though. John is a good driver and has the experience and was able to land a new job with a local company with a regular route in the region. He went into orientation and was put through a medical exam on site, they wouldn't accept his last and recent clearance. Neck size, uncontrolled diabetes and the need for physician letters on all of his meds. Arghhhh...details, always details. The company is working with him though, so hopefully things will be in the clear before the month is out and the finances can stay above board once more. I'm stretching pennies at this point.

My son's psychosis, suicidal thinking seems to come through the most while he is driving. He earned a speeding ticket and we've decided he is more a danger behind the wheel than I am. His medications are adjusted once more. He cannot take the therapeutic dosage of Lithium because of the shakes, so backing off of that and increasing dosage on one of the anti-psychotics. If it doesn't work this round, he is going to check himself in to the hospital and take the fast track to get what he needs to level his head.

There's so much more going on too but egads, I will end up meandering towards too many rabbit holes. Suffice to say, it's always one thing after another, but...I will not lose my faith in the Creator or the Divine Providence that guides me each and every day. Quitting is not an option.

I have thus far been trolled by two idiots since coming back to VR. The latest was a self proclaimed demon worshiping, vampire hunter who wanted to eat my flesh. Really? Are you so fucking bored with your life you have to pretend you're some cannibalistic terror on the internet? I don't know what's worse, VR idiots trying to be something they definitely are not or FB idiots with Pass Along Jesus memes.

Well, I am a bit disappointed to acknowledge I will not be able to enroll in online university this year. I had doctor appointments lined up to get my paperwork in for disability allowances if I was unable to finish an assignment due to health related issues...and, I had to reschedule because I didn't have a ride. My partner takes me to my appointments but he is also a truck driver and sometimes, even when we plan for it, things happen on the road that prevent him from being home on time. So, I've been moved out by 2 months from now which is well past the Fall Session for enrollment.

My son is still struggling with major depressive disorder and psychosis. He still has no definite diagnosis of schizophrenia but I've been advised to get him on disability as he is unable to work due to his health issues and the medications he is on. I can relate to that on some level as having taken epilepsy drugs for most of my life. There are a lot of medications used as cross over treatments for both epilepsy, bipolar disorder, migraine and schizophrenia. It's been 8 months now since we first started down this road of finding the medications that will work best for him but I feel the more we adjust them, the less effect there seems to be on his overall mental and emotional health. He's "stuck" in this gear of self defeat that I wish, as a mom, I could just fix and everything would be okay. Unfortunately, as adults, we all know that that does not work.

Each day is new and presents its own challenges and hurdles to get over. I hope to help him get over his along the way.