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I started my day with a few tears today. I've worked in ophthalmology/optometry going on 14 years now...one of my long-time patients, Mr. Sullivan, came in to for what was supposed to be a complete exam.

Instead, he requested only to have his eye pressure checked because today would be his last visit and he wanted only to say goodbye to everyone at our clinic.

"I've been diagnosed with small-cell lung cancer and I won't be here in three more months."

All I could say was, "yes sir, I understand...I'm sorry to hear that."

So I worked him up as he had asked and went to enter the chart in the computer. One of my docs knew something was wrong because the tears just welled up in my eyes as I told him. I dried them from my eyes and finished the charting and took a deep breath.

I went back in to see Mr. Sullivan in the room waiting to see the doctor one more time. I shook his hand and told him what a pleasure and honor it was to work with him all these years and that I would surely and sorely miss him.

He stood up and hugged me and said, "I'm glad to have known you too. I'm ready and I'm happy to be going home." (Mrs. Sullivan passed a few years ago herself.) I nodded my head and said "Farewell my friend, fare well."

Speaking of extended family...just so you know, my husband and I unofficially call our home and property, "The Swampy Hills Retirement Home."

Not only does my mom live behind me, but my grandma too. His mom (TJ), dad (Pop), and crazy Aunt Nelle (TJ's sister), live next door. Seven dogs, a tank full of inbreeding guppies, and one old, love-hungry cat later...you can see why we call it a retirement home.

I find it ironic considering I grew up without much family around for nearly a quarter of my life, I'm completely surrounded by it now.

My maternal grandma (Maxine) is quite the character. She is Bipolar and her moods swing like the shifting of the wind. She's better when she takes her medicine, but often times, when she feels good, she doesn't think she needs to take it anymore.

I remember my grandma a little differently than most folks might remember theirs growing up. Imagine if you will, a woman (regardless of her age) wearing 2 inch heels, short-shorts, a tank top (all in neon colors-usually the brightest pink or green out there) and off course a cute handbag to boot...you have an image of my grandma, Maxine aka "Sexy Blue Eyes."

The "Sexy Blue Eyes" was her CB handle back in the day when people used to get together at the local Legion Hall to hang out in clubs, playing bingo and dominos and of course the one thing that brought them all together was being in a CB Club.

For all of you "kids" out there, CB radio was at one time the only way you could communicate with other folks while they were driving somewhere on the other side of the country aka a prehistoric Cell Phone except without the Text-messaging ability.

You just grabbed it up, pushed in the button with your thumb and said what you had to say. Then you'd let up on the button to let the other person answer you back. You may have seen one and didn't know it...perhaps on COPS or from the backseat of a patrol car. :)

Anywho, CB Clubs were once popped up everywhere and like here, everyone had a "handle" or name they went by, thus "Sexy Blue Eyes" was born and she's still around...lol...if anybody thinks they take to wearing sweet old lady dresses when they reach 80, think again...not my grandma, she's still "sexy" and pushing a walker...watch out ladies, your man might be at risk!

In October 2008, my grandma came home to live with us in mom's 2nd bedroom. Needless to say, it's been an adjustment for everyone, especially grandma. The circumstances that brought her from Texas to Louisiana were grim at best.

Grandma's friends from the CB Club had slowly whittled down over the years as each either ended up in a rest home or passed away. Her only family she was closest to was her sister, Aunt Marguerite, who lived in Oklahoma. Some time ago, Aunt Marguerite eventually moved to Texas with her daughter, Analita, and her husband in a little trailer similiar to the situation my mother has come into, living on my property here.

So Grandma was always taking a trip now and then to see Aunt Marguerite, her little sister. Analita is involved with Min Pin dog shows and often travels everywhere for competitions on the circuit. Analita's husband suffers from dementia caused by Alzheimer's Disease and at this point, is well advanced.

October 2008 marks the death of Aunt Marguerite, who was beat to death with her own cane by her son-in-law. Analita was in Arkansas at a dog show. Aunt Marguerite might have survived had he not forgotten she was lying there in a pool of her own blood for several hours. He "found" her again, not knowing what happened, and called for help from a neighbor...unfortunately, too little...too late. She died later at the hospital from her injuries and the loss of blood.

Of course, my husband and I decided to drive mother to see grandma and to bring her back after the funeral. I don't associate much with my family and had not seen this particular bunch in nearly 20 years since I was a teenager. I had no idea just how down right cold they were.

Due to the gruesome fact that Analita's husband had been the direct cause of her mother's death, Aunt Marguerite's body was cremated and no autopsy was performed. I and many other family members that grew up with Aunt Marguerite and Grandma Maxine were appalled to find out that there would be NO FUNERAL.

Analita's little bunch are atheists and as such, do not believe in a spiritual afterlife. Therefore, now that Aunt Marguerite was dead, gone, and cremated, there was no use in having a "silly funeral." Due to other family members' horror over the very idea of such, Analita's family consented to having a Memorial Service at Aunt Marguerite's Baptist Church.

Within 3 days of her death, her trailer was wiped clean, her personal belongings already dispersed and hauled off to charity. There was no body and of course as everyone came in to attend the Memorial Service, it was more like a "family reunion" than anyone getting together to mourn the loss of Aunt Marguerite. In fact, the only tears shed were my grandma's.

The service was to start at 2:00 p.m. Analita's bunch nearly forgot about it, while we were waiting to go in their living room. We and the other family members had no idea where this church was and if we hadn't been there, I doubt seriously they'd have remembered. So the service didn't start until they arrived at the church around 2:30.

I really felt for the pastor who was there to perform the eulogy. His own son had died in a car wreck the day before and he still showed up to do this for Aunt Marguerite's memory. When he asked if anyone in the immediate family would like to get up and say some words in memory of their mother, their grandmother...not "one" stood up. As the pastor dismissed the service, which lasted only 20 minutes, they all popped up out of their chairs and said, "ok, let's get back to the house," as though this part of the day was just a ridiculous technicality.

I can only say this, you can believe whatever you want, you can follow whatever philosophy you want, but such total DISRESPECT for the dead is untoward. Back at the house, they were carrying on as if it was just another day, snapping photos of each other, laughing and visiting, as though the title of their scrapbook would have no reference at all to the passing of Aunt Marguerite. With family like that, I'm glad I didn't know them that well, I wouldn't want to.

So I told my husband, since the longer I was there, the angrier I got...."I want to get grandma and mom out of here and back home where they both belong before we get included in this impromptu party of theirs and I get my picture taken!" I swear, had that happened, I'd have gone livid and probably smashed the camera.

Before we left, Analita decided to give us 2 of her Min Pins that Aunt Marguerite took care of. She didn't have any use for them since they were not "show quality." One had a cow lick on his head and both of them were "too big" to be of anything profitable to her. They're still with grandma and mom down the hill, Snoopy and Snickers...fat as sausages.

So my grandma Maxine has had a hell of a time. She still cries about her sister and how the family treated her passing...I don't blame her one bit. They treated my grandma with about as much consideration as tolerating a fly.

Grandma recently had double knee surgery, about 2 weeks ago. She's in re-hab right now at the hospital's extended long-term care facility. It's a nursing home, but it's not where she'll stay indefinitely.

She's pretty much lost her marbles going in for this procedure. She doesn't know if I'm coming or going and is convinced my mom is laying down on her bed for a rest at times when I know mom is at home. (Her MS doesn't allow her to travel much without being stove up.) We've got the staff reminding her everyday that she has to work hard to get her legs going so she can get back "home" sooner...so that she won't think we've abandoned her like the rest back in Texas.

I swear on my heart, I will not allow that to happen. I Will for both my mother and my grandmother to live here and to die here on this property, close by to the only remnant of our family tree that will care and grieve with respect and dignity one day, when they too shall pass.