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So lost in this pain. I look in the mirrior and see shame. I try to remember back when I wa younger, it does nothing but cause anger and makes me shutter. Thinking of all the mistakes I've made. K nowing that I haven't even paid. So many wrong things I've said. So many wrong things that I did. And this is why I hide in all this black. When people say that I'm a failure, I believe it to be a fact. I don't know what to do, i don't know who to turn to. I feel asthough causing pain on myself is the only way to go. And I feel asthough I have to deal with it alone. And when I start to think about this, I don't want to be known. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I need help! I need help because I can't keep doing this to myself!

Here that is inpaled in my heart, is a knife. I let it rest in the hole. It's been there for so long, I see it as apart of my soul. It's a lever that everyone pulls. I don't dare remove the blade, it's something I want to stay. Call me crazy, call me insane, but keeping the knife in place, helps with the pain. If I take it out, my blood will become a river down my chest. Keeping the blade where it is, is for the best. It's a patch to all my wounds. Pushing it deeper is what people like to do. Nothing new! If I take the knife out, death will over take me. And that, I can not let it be!

Why must you haunt me. you're the one who want this to be. Every passing day, I hear your voice! I don't want to think about you, but you leave me no choice! I can't escape you in my dreams. It's like you don't want me to be free. So it seems! Why must you haunt me? Can't you see that I don't want these feelings anymore? because of you, my heart is tore! And I'm the one to blame for all the pain! I didn't let it end. I just kept letting you back in. So all of this pain and sorrow is because of me! But because of the pain and sorrow, I'm noy going to live to see tomorrow!

I grabbed the knife. Something's telling me to end her life! I've gone through this how many times? 1,2, 10! I've heard all the lies over and over again. So why do I stay?

I'm the one that gets fucked over and played with. and no one seems to care. I'm getting pissed to the point where I'm going to tare somebody's heart out. Let her feel the pain that she's caused me, that has me going insane!

All these damn lies, I'm through with hearing them! Bullshit! All she really wants is dick. But I don't fucking care! I swear I'm going to kill somebody, by the end of this night. This anger has gotten to the hight, to where I won't only fight. I'll end you're fucking life!

There's no way you can give me what I want back. But there is one thing that you can do that will be payback. Bleed! Bleed for me! I need for you to bleed.

I need to feel the warmth going cold. I want to hold your blood in my hands. To smell the matalic sent rising from your forgotten body. Because that's all you are to me. You're nothing!

How can I make you not to forget me? Why must this be? All the shit that we've been through, has gone to hell! And I feel asthough you're ssaying, "Oh well!" When I'm gone and far away, you will be on my mind every minute of the day! As you see my tears fall, I'll see you standing tall. Just know that when I leave, I will be leaving half of myself with you! And hope what you say is true. "It'll work out in the end!" So, until you and I find eachother again!

What is this darkness in my heart. Why does it always tare me apart? I don't understand why this is the way I am. Is this the way I've always been, or did I pick up a brand new trend? All my friends are happy, but I've just been feeling down! To me, they look like clowns. I know that I'm not the only one that feels this pain. Doesn't it make them go insane, to feel the pain within? Don't they want it all to come to an end? I don't understand it at all. Don't they hear the darkness call? Is all this pain and angry in my head? Why is it, all I see is red? I don't know what to do! I don't know how to deal with it! Could everything I've been thinking about be bullshit? How do I get ride of all this? IS there someone who can end it all with a kiss? If so, I'm right here! Trying to make it all clear! Because this darkness is in my heart... I fear!

You look into his eyes, and all you want to do is break down and cry. you try and try to get him out of your mind. But he's just there to waist your time. You sit down and talk and then take a little walk. He asks you how you've been? You bow your head, and close your eyes, because you've been dying inside. But you lie and say that you've been fine.

as you sliced my heart with a dull, rusty razor I watched as my own blood poured out in a river over your hand. You crushed it and I saw it fall like sand. All I could do is stand there with pain in my eyes and cry. I couldn't understand why you told me so many lies. I took my last breath knowing that all you were was a test. something that I knew that I faild at. I did everything wrong all along. times up and I move on.

I'm looking at the moon feeling that you're gazing at it too! I stare up as the cold air wraps around me, memories fly past my eyes. Remembering the time we had together, promises of us being forever. Missing being with you. Wishing felt it too. I never thought our hearts would let us be apart. I still feel the same. trying to tame the feelings. But my heart that maybe broken, doesn't want to make any changes. I feel asthough there's something missing inside of me. Like there's a half that disappeared. And it doesn't come back until you're near. I don't know what to do, but something's telling me not to stop loving you. But there's apart of me that feels asthough I need to. We're done everything, and it lead us to heartbreak. I don't know how much more we can take. Maybe it's just not our time. And hopefully we'll find eachother down the line. But if it's not true, then I'll just hide loving you.