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I'm on my new laptop. It's a lovely Toshiba that has everything I wanted and even came with 60$ skull candy headphones.



Windows 8 is annoying but I'm hoping that the touch screen will make it a bit easier to get past.



Other than this I don't have much to talk about. I've been getting into music and writing more again. It's nice to be able to still spin a song as well as I was doing it a few months ago when I wrote every day. It's just pointless to spend too much time or money on music...at least for me it is. I have bigger things to worry about, but it's nice to just say fuck college and do something fun. Then the schoolwork slaps me in the face and I begrudgingly do it.

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Oceanne
05:20 Aug 25 2013

Enjoy your new laptop!

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It sucks going to such a small college in such a small town. I can't find much of anything to do and all my friends went home. So I'm left to just cruise the net and do some homework.



It's not that I don't want to be social, it's that nothing here interests me.

I've had three days of class and it already looks like I should be able to pull out A's again. None of my classes appear like they will be much of a challenge as long as I apply myself and pay attention.



Oh, and go to class. That's the main thing.



What is bothering me is having to attend class with people, I can't stand what's going on in most of their heads and it's all just a cluster fuck in my head because of it.



I should look into taking a semester or two's worth of classes online so that I might break up this routine of doing well in class while going mentally unstable because of class.

When someone goes around pestering people all they want is a reaction.



It doesn't matter if you say that you don't care or if you full on attack them, if you react at all you give them what they are looking for.



If you ignore a pest they lose interest and move on.



It's common sense...

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NikkiAidyn
03:35 Aug 12 2013

The truth! These is why I like you so much :)

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There is something about packing that's always been unsettling to me. It's just odd to see what object keep you going, what you have to have, what you choose to have, and things you didn't even know you had to begin with.



Packing gives me a funny feeling. In one day I'm handling all the objects that I need to keep my body going.



Whether it be soap to stay clean or my Ukulele to keep me entertained, it's just a surreal experience. It feels like I'm someone else, going through someone else's things. I guess I just don't notice all that I need until it's time to move on to the next place.

The journals aren't a place to carry out a personal conversation either.



I don't get why people would want to try and converse in such a public way...I see it too often here and it always leaves me scratching my head.



I guess it's just something that attention seeking people do. -shrug-

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Lullaby
07:36 Aug 11 2013

I like sharing the happiness. I like writing cute things directed towards my better half.

If I'm annoyed with someone though, 9 times out of 10, I'll send that stupid motherfucker a message.

'cause that's how mature people handle it. By messaging and either agreeing that we're both idiots, or agreeing to let sleeping dogs lie. Not just slinging poo, like monkeys.

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SilenceSoothes
07:44 Aug 11 2013

Well said.



I agree that sharing the good isn't a bad idea, but all the poop slinging is silly.

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NikkiAidyn
16:39 Aug 11 2013

I don't get it either, but I have never been one for drama and gossip.



It's weird how some have a whole section of their journal just to fume about VR. o.0

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Sinistra
21:52 Aug 11 2013

I really don't care about all of that. I feel people should be free to write what they want in their journals. It is not for me to judge or tell them what they can and cannot write. We have a wide range of ages on this site from children to older adults. Most of them do not divulge their ages. Consider it might be someone really young like 13 or not but journals are to write thoughts into and if you are mad about something then why not? I am not into minding other's business. It doesn't mean they are always seeking attention but venting where they have nowhere else to vent especially if it deals with this site or related to the topic. Considering the nature of the site I would think most here would be far more open minded about things.

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I don't think that some people know that they can PM each other...



Or maybe it's just that they like for all of VR to hear them go back and forth via kismet's...



-shrug-

It's going to be nice to head of to school. I've had just about enough of home this past Summer. Nothing against my family though. They do what they can to handle the black sheep and they do a good job.



I just can't wait to not have to worry about hiding as much. I don't mind coming off as odd in school, but at home I like to play normal. I don't want to disappoint my parents anymore than I already do...



Two more days, that's it.

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NeverMind
23:10 Aug 10 2013

You are in school?

Jealous lol.

I have never felt pressured to act a certain way when at home, except for in regards to...one aspect of my life.

I never feel any pressure to act any sort of way in any situation, except for sometimes...or well...most of the time in public places with alot of people I get quiet and nervous and sometimes angry at being in such a situation so I get snippy. I would much rather stay home, or go to places that aren't so busy. Lol.

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NikkiAidyn
03:32 Aug 11 2013

I'm happy that you will feel more comfortable in school.



It is always hard to continuously handle hiding so much, especially around family. I am lucky that my family has accepted me for who I am; perhaps yours will sometime soon.

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Beauty isn't worth the price that some people pay to have it...



It would be better spent to learn to love yourself for who you are, rather than changing yourself until you think you're beautiful...Which, doesn't happen...it just doesn't.



Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and if you don't think you're beautiful now then you won't after you change either.

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BLOODLIFE
22:14 Aug 09 2013

I'd tick the 'like' box for that.

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HK47
23:36 Aug 09 2013

Wise words.

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Yes, I'm a 19 year old about to talk about love, if you think that's foolish then I don't mind.



Love...That four letter word holds more power than any other on the face of the earth, but what does it mean?



It means nothing, at least not when used improperly. Oh, you've known each other 2 months and have never met physically? Please, do tell me about your love for him.



What's that? He's cheated on you several times and has abused you for years? Continue on about how you still love him, please, I'm dying to hear about it.



A word has as much meaning and as much power as you give it. With how much the word "love" is thrown around...well, it's lost it's meaning.



It should be something used only when you have no doubt in your mind that that person is going to be the one you spend your life with. It's not a way of saying that you like someone, or that you want to move in, or cuddle with them after a fuck, it's something that should be saved for that person that you couldn't live without.



Not the person you'd get over after a week of breaking up, not the person you'd rake under the coals behind their back, not the person you've never met in real life, not the person you've known for only a few months....



The word has a lot more meaning when you use it as it was intended...



-Nova-

One of the things that annoys me more than anything else is when people assume what is going on behind someones eyes.



You don't know what they are thinking, what they are feeling, or why they do what they do.



Saying things like:



"They don't have problems, they just want attention."



"I know what you are going through"



"I've been through it"



"You don't know real pain"



"ect"



When people say things like that they come off as ignorant and lacking in empathy. It makes you seem self centered and all knowing.

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HK47
00:39 Aug 09 2013

We can never know a person's pain, unless we've been though it ourselves. Each person has their own pain - None should be belittled for it. The world isn't as enlightened as it thinks itself to be. The apathy of society is the sickness that rots within itself. If one does not have empathy, then one cannot truly know another.

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I'm not good with titles. I don't like them.



Lately I've been dealing with so many highs and lows. I go from points happiness to depression in less than the span of a day. It's driving my mind to the brink of the edge. I feel worn and battered.



It's just something I have to live with, but it's still something that's worth noting in my journal. I know that talking about it won't help...It's just nice to have things out.

I don't like the day, I've always gravitated to the night.



I enjoy the feeling of things at ease, during the day everything feels so strained.



People moving around chaotically, and so much tension. It's unsettling.



The night doesn't have that...things calm down to a point of almost peace. It's as close to quiet as I can find now...



The silence soothes me...

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LordKitsune
06:54 Aug 06 2013

I agree. That is when i do my thinking. When the day draws to an end, everything seems to wind down and calm. My mind relaxes and had a chance to wander peacefully and i can rid myself of the days stresses.

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I've been feeling major nostalgia as of lately. I listen to a song or thing of a person that feels so far back, so far away.



Yet, I was obsessed over that song a few months ago, we did all those things less than a year ago.



I've always kept myself moving to fast, trading in people out left and right. I feel that if I blink I'll be in a different decade.



This nostalgia has me thinking...Why am I running? Am I trying to run from who I am...or is it the things I've done?



Maybe I'm just overthinking things...or maybe I'm not...All I know is that I don't want to slow down. I want to live as much life as I can. I've done so much, I've felt so much, and I've seen so much...



But, there's still so much to do and not enough time to do it...So I keep racing. Trying to live my life to the fullest before it's over...

Next time, before you judge someone, before you belittle them, and before you condemn them, put yourself in their skin.



Think of what it's like to stare in the mirror and see that face, to have more bills to pay than money in your wallet, to not have anyone taking care of you...or to care for.



Think about those things before you look down on someone for the way they live, act, dress, or think.



You might not come off as ignorant if you would just think, before you judge.

There is one thing that has always gotten on my nerves for as long as I've been here.



People who go to profiles that are 10 minutes old and give them a 1.



Yes, I know you believe in using all the numbers of the rating system, (although the way the bonus is scaled...anything less than a 10 means that you believe they shouldn't get a bonus at all), but they haven't had time to even figure out how to use the damn site, let alone know what coding works and what coding doesn't.



It's my belief that profiles should be unrateable until they are a week old. That way a new user has a chance to get acclimated to the site.



It's not a good way to keep new users when they see themselves getting downrated before they even get their feet wet.

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LordKitsune
00:45 Aug 05 2013

I completely agree with this. New users will come and granted get confused and frustrated, but the downrates are nothing more than the straw that broke the camels back. They snap and delete before getting past the frustrating newbie stage we all went through and begin to enjoy the site. Well said.

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Saetan
00:52 Aug 05 2013

I try to give people a few days to get their profile done. If they haven't done anything with it or came back to the site after a few days, then I give them a 1. I usually don't rate profiles at all unless I am bored and have nothing else to do. Most of the profiles I do rate are the suspended to infinity profiles, although I do sometimes start rating all listed here and there, depending.

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Bones
01:51 Aug 05 2013

You'll eventually find that most new users will only be here for a week and then never return. I don't understand why someone creates a Portfolio when they have nothing to add to it and expect a 10 for a rating.

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SilenceSoothes
01:54 Aug 05 2013

I think a portofolio is different. It's an optional feature that they choose to make.



But, by just signing up here you have a rate-able profile.



I know that out of a page of 15 you're lucky to get one user that will stay for any length of time...I just don't think 1's are a good way to say hello and welcome.



-shrug-

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Beelzebub
01:59 Aug 05 2013

It's a good idea, I tend to roll out 10's these days though to everyone, some people just don't have the time, money or inclination to buy a premium or decorate a web page and they shouldn't be penalised for that.

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Anathielia
05:25 Aug 05 2013

Good idea.

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I think this is only about the second time that I have ever used the "block user" feature on here.



I just don't want to see all the future pain they will cause themselves because of the way they are...



It's one thing to be a pet, it's another to let yourself be used and abused.



It's such a shame too...I hate to see people get hurt...and at this point...I can't help them...I wish I could.

Whether it's in person or even online, I can't meet new people without feeling awkward. It doesn't matter if we share interests or even a mutual friend, I still don't know what to say or how to act.



I know, "Be yourself, act natural" but that just doesn't come naturally to me. I've always been one to put up these false fronts to keep myself safe.



So when meeting new people that I want to meet, I always end up presenting myself wrong. I just don't know how to be me...without it feeling like a disaster.



I've done everything from stopping talking, to talking endlessly...I just don't know what to do or what to say.

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immortalxkiss
07:22 Aug 04 2013

I'm the same way. Which is why I tend to just talk to the same people day in and day out. Me and newness doesn't seem to mix. Because I will usually always make a fool of myself in the process.

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Nedra
20:51 Aug 04 2013

Hello! Nice to meet you.....

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It's nice to see a change in the Honor system...



I'm just wondering how much it's going to affect "honor begging"...



With the change of making honor temporary I can't see it ever being a bonus now...interesting changes.



Now I have yet another reason to get premium soon.

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LordKitsune
06:31 Aug 04 2013

I noticed the honor change. And I'm curious as well to how they will now incorporate it with the status system if after a month they clear honor.

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Today started off great. I actually got a nights sleep that was full and refreshing. It's been quite some time since I've slept without night terrors or insomnia.



I'm coming out of my most recent bout of depression too. It's been months since I have felt this calm. It probably has something to do with the fact that I am going back to school in two weeks.



I'll be out of the house again and doing what I love, learning. I love keeping my mind busy and filled with new things. It's also time to get out of the house. My parents just don't know what to think of a child that sits in their room reading, writing, and computing all day long...