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Braaaaaiiiiiinnnsss…….

Current mood: mischievous





You'll have to pardon the brief interruption of service, I've been suffering from a bit of writer's block. Well, maybe not block so much as distraction. So, there have been some interesting turns of events of late. More on those later.



In the interim I decided to write a brief blurb about something that I take very seriously. Zombies.



Zombies are great. The single-minded search for a single prize is something we can all envy. Ok, in this case they want brains. Hey, we all have our quirks. Lets not judge, shall we? Zombies know what they want, and they go for it. No fear, no regrets, just chewy gooey numminess with a garnish of bits-o-skull (for texture).



Me? I'm not so much with the single-mindedness, or with the fearless part for that matter. It isn't that I don't know what I want. I usually do. I'm just bad at going after it.



I need to be more like a zombie I think. Minus the caramel-coated grey matter.



Zombies also get to do fun things, like break windows and limp ominously. I can fake a good limp, but if I start breaking windows, the cops show up. If you're a zombie, cops aren't a problem. Come on, lets face it, after that guy was shot well over a hundred times in New York and didn't die, I have no confidence that they could effectively shut down the nervous system of a zombie. Broadside... Barn... Anyone?



Which brings me to my next non-point: Looking to start a civil war? I suggest losing the warlords and the twelve-year olds and recruiting zombies. They never question orders, have no compunctions about genocide, and except for the problem of easy distraction by the look of a tasty corpse to gnaw on, they are pretty damned much unstoppable. Plus, there are no soap-box speeches or political manipulations needed to recruit zombies. Simply nibble a bit, slap on the zombie arm-band, teach them to salute, and point them towards the bad-guys.



Ok, maybe you don't want to try to teach them to salute. And of course, there is always the problem of how to get rid of your army once you're done. Details. I know, just leave MIT (or your country's equivalent) to the last, and when they smell the big juicy brains and clamor to the spot like a Republican after an oil-rich country, drop a tactical nuke on the place. Problem solved.



Waste of good zombies though, if you ask me.



Another interesting thing about zombies is just how consistent they are. Oh, I know there are a hundred ways a person might become a zombie: Chemical spill, random act of Romero, military experiment, medical research. In the vampire world, there are a myriad of variations on just what a vampire is, exactly. Everyone has their own take. In the end, however, zombies are just zombies.



If only we could all be that reliable. With people, you have to read emotions. You have to make interpretations. You have to predict reactions. Zombies just eat things. You always know what to expect. Run into a zombie? Shoot it in the head, run away, or get eaten. It is the beauty of simplicity.



Hm I think I'll start an army of zombies. There will be a recruitment gnawi... er.. meeting soon, I'll keep you posted with details.



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Shadowlore Says: Lets face it, zombies are useful. Zombies are the Minivan of the undead world, whereas vampires are the Ferrari.



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Cayla says : zombies rock, cuz if you have zombies, you gotta have hot chicks running around in hot black leather outfits with axes. See the logic?



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