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Just last night I was looking at my room mates arm and the veins in his arm were popping out and I could see the blood pulsing in the veins and I had an over whelming craving for blood and all I could think about was jumping on him and bitting his arm as hard as I could so I could feel the blood rush into my mouth. It has been a long time since I have fed and it keeps getting harder to control it.Sometimes I feel like I might lose it one day and just attack the next person I see and that scares the living hell out of me.I am afraid I will really hurt someone.I even dream about it as well (but I will get to that later) Did not help the fact that the air on that night was prefect for hunting.I am starting to feel the effects of starving. I feel so sick and unfocused. I feel like I am going to die with out it, and I know about the whole thing of "Feed of your self " but it is not working any more and I can't stand it for much longer the weakness and the pain has become to much for me to handle at this point in time. All I want is just a little drink just enough to curb the thirst for a little while but finding someone to do such things is not easy to come by where I live. Don't get me wrong I am proud of what I am, but when you ask someone for their blood they look at you kinda funny no matter how long you have known them. They always give you the same look like "What the fuck did you just ask me to do?" look and I hate getting that look. What I think is that people just don't fucking get it. This is not some thing i do for fun or just to get attention. The reason I drink blood is because I feel whole with it. It is hard to explain. When I feed I feel that persons heart beat race from the fear and then slows with the pleasure of the pain of the bite,and then to feel the warm blood run into my mouth over my lips and drip down my cheek and then using my fingers or tongue to clean it off so I don't waste any of it.I wish i had someone close to me that understood but at the same time I am glad to be alone. (Now to the dreams I have) The dreams they have everything I could ever want or need in order to feed every time I want there is one of those old claw foot high back bath tubs and it is always filled with fresh blood I strip down to nothing and slip into the blood and I can feel the warmth of the blood creep up my legs and the sweet,sweet smell of the blood curls up my nose and then I bend to a knee and take handfuls of the blood and poor it on to my head and then kneel fully into the tub and bend down to lick the top layer of the blood and I can feel the sweet taste of the virgin blood,and as I drink I lie in the tub and take more handfuls and start rubbing it on my body. My skin becomes so soft and pale. I lay in the tub until it goes cold. When it does that I step out on to black tile and a black shag rug and grab a fluffy white towel and softly pat my self dry and after the blood has dried I gently brush it off with the towel and by that time I am being woken up by some one but that is a place I would love to never leave it is my dark heaven

COMMENTS

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jmanwalters
05:12 May 18 2008

that was beautiful and amazing

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wayne
05:56 Oct 18 2008

you are awsome and ill glady give my blood to

you so you can drink your fill

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bloodyfairy
07:23 Oct 18 2008

very beautiful

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