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So today...well, more like this evening, I received news that I would be in the movie I auditioned for. I'm completely ecstatic and my instinct was to share it with those that are closest to me, which happened to be my mother and sister sitting in the living room with me. My sister completely understands how hard I worked on my audition piece so she was excited for me my mother on the other hand ignored me and complained about the TV not being on. It took her about 10 minutes after I announced my good news she finally replied with, "Oh, congrats." It kind of unsettled me. This would be my second film I would be filming next year after I get done with film the first one in September. I, obviously, want to be an actress and sure they aren't big characters but they sure as hell aren't extras or people filling the background. I'll get paid and I help the plot move along. I'm in the good graces of the directors/producers so, who knows, more films could follow and they see some kind of talent inside me. Back to the story, I called my dad. Unenthusiastic reactions continued. After asking what seemed like 20 questions, he finally congratulated me and then proceeded to tell me that I need to finish school first. I said, "yeah...sure." He went on to tell me that unless I'm the star school will come first. I completely shut down. I was processing what he said and soon became an emotionless drone. After our conversation ended, I just sat on the couch continuing to process what he had said. I have wanted to be an actress since I was little. I started quoting movies since I could talk. So, to get the kind of reactions I received from my folks really knocked the wind out of me. I guess they think this is just a phase or a hobby and I'll do something more practical like be a business woman or something. I don't need a degree to do acting and what am I going to do with an acting degree anyway? Sure, I can get teacher certified but with all the cut backs and teachers getting canned that doesn't seem so promising either. All I'm saying is if it came to me choosing between school and my dreams, I'll choose my dreams especially if I'm getting paid to do something I absolutely love. School will always be there it'll just be on hold. And, it's not as though I'm spending their hard earned money on school. I had to get this out somewhere and I'm sure I'll attract realists and fatalists alike but for once, I just didn't want someone to come around and take a huge shit on my parade.

COMMENTS

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moonkissed
15:00 Jul 29 2011

Congratulations on the part. I am sorry your family response was less than what you had hoped. Your father at least seems sensible. There is truth to the phrasing "starving artist"; you do want a fall back. Child stars are required to take in so many hours of schooling per year and many famous actors and actresses hold degrees of some sort.

Consider it training for future roles if you must but you do need to consider your education and your future. This could be your big break or not. No one knows.

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SerendipityMuse
19:02 Jul 29 2011

I completely understand that,the whole having a fall back plan. But I don't want these opportunities to pass me by and I'm left kicking myself saying I should have done it. Yes, I don't know if this will be my big break or not but I have to try.

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Ah, so angry I was woken up this morning! Ok, not angry just upset. I don't remember much of my dream just bits and pieces. I was in California visiting my family again but I was actually there for something else can't remember what though. And the last thing I remember is there being vampire and he bit his wrist and he was bleeding and I was going to drink it but I woke up. I haven't had a vampire dream in forever and I really wanted to know what was going to happen. Now I'll never know xD Sorry to waste an entry on this but that's how I do :p

This is an intoxicated blog entry... I wish I could say what was really going on in my mind but I can't. No matter how many drinks I consume, I could never really express in words what's going on in my mind. I think when I'm alone and when I drink I think even more and I...how can people be friend me? I can't honestly say I'd be friends with me if I weren't me. If I were a guy, I wouldn't give myself the time of day. I know and feel that my life is a walking contradiction. i disgust myself and may be I have problems but who doesn't these days, ya know? I don't know...I have so much going through my head right now I had to get just a sliver of it out some where. Dawn is approaching and maybe sleep is a good thing right now...

This is a dream entry because I don't want to chance forgetting the dream I had last night. So, where I was at it looked exactly like the masquerade scene from Van Hellsing and I'm sitting back stage getting ready to perform. I didn't get along with a woman named Tori and she thought she was hot shit and she was the master's favorite. So, she's diva-ing out backstage and it's her turn to perform. I took it upon myself to perform in her slot. I was a nymph and the way I performed was apparently spectacular and I had never performed in such a way before. So I leave the stage and everyone is congradulating me except for Tori who begins to chew me out and then our master summons us. I was a rare commodity in our little group of performers since I was the only nymph among narcissistic vampires. I got into a mess load of trouble even though our guests loved me. So I decided to leave and I had to go through all these secret chambers to do so and once I got outside I looked at the moon then back to the mansion (ha! it wasn't a castle) and I turned into a bird and left. Then I woke up and went back to sleep and that dream wasn't very exciting so it isn't worth describing. :]

This is yet another journal about my very unpleasant room mate. So, apparently she jumped ship at the apartment and is no longer there (yes, I celebrated in my head but the reason pissed me off) . Now, this is going to become lengthy but I need to get this off my chest and hopefully clear my mind. She owed my other room mate money for the electricity (we split it 3 ways and it has no affect on our lease, it's separate from it entirely.) and she had told her weeks in advance to slide is under her door for she was not there. My room mate gets there and there is no money to be found and then we discover unpleasantness has left. So, she calls her repeatedly and they go unanswered so she gives her mother a call. Her mother then proceeds to curse her out and say these ridiculous things about her, myself included. Apparently, we harassed her daughter, made living at the apartment unbearable for her, we stole from her and we apparently, were plotting to kill/beat her up. As ridiculous as these accusations are, they were actually said. For the cherry on top, she "filed a police report" on myself, my other room mate and my sister since she had "proof" we were going to harm her precious daughter. How you might ask, she went through one of our phones during Christmas break and read the text messages between the three of us. I know, invasion of privacy is absolutely against the law. Now, when I get to my breaking point and I need to release some rage, I write on here. I have several entries expressing my anger healthily and yes at times they are gruesome, but I have never done anything. I haven't done a single thing to her since our fall out started back in November. That's correct, November. I don't talk to her, don't slam doors, don't lock people out of the apartment, purposely be loud in the common area etc. I am either in my room watching TV or I'm at my mom's place because I miss my dog and I can't stand being in that apartment. So, I'd like to believe I've been a pretty good sport about this whole thing and now enough is enough. The lies must come to a halt. Shaking with anger and rage, I called my dad. I told him everything my room mate told me from her conversation with the other's mother and let's just say he wasn't all to pleased. I didn't want to do because well, it never should have gotten this far in all honesty, but he will call her mother himself and discuss these false accusations against me and apparently my sister and if worse comes to worse, he will sue her. Plane and simple. I forgot to mention that the mother had told my room mate that we should be afraid of her because she has an attorney, but umm ma'am, my dad works for the government. As I have mentioned before and countless times, this never should have gotten this far and it sadly has. What's another kicker is that when my best friend came down to visit for a week, he saw exactly her behaving exactly the way I described. As I said, I've been a terrific sport about this whole fiasco she has continued to cause but enough is enough.

COMMENTS

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moonkissed
14:11 Jul 04 2011

If you didn't like the girl she shouldn't have been a room mate.

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chrysanthemia
14:47 Jul 04 2011

I know you don't always get to pick your roommates. In my new house, I ended up with one really cool guy, and two wannabe gangsters. There are only supposed to be four people living here, but he one wigged decided his girlfriend should live with us. And a German shepherd, hell, why not?? I have insane allergies, and turned down nicer places because they housed large dogs.



And this dog wasn't house-trained. It'll take me forever to get the smell of piss out of the carpets.



The loudness, slamming doors, I can relate to. I hate that so much. That mother's accusations are beyond ludicrous. Bah. The game of chance is cruel sometimes.

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SerendipityMuse
19:14 Jul 04 2011

The room mate in which I'm having the issue with, we used to be friends until our fall out in November. It's not only that the mother is being ridiculous but she is ridiculous as well. For an entire, because she was so mad at myself and my other room mate is that she left the door unlocked when she would leave early in the morning. That's not right and just plain mean. It's incredibly hard to move past something like this when someone keeps bringing you back down, ya dig?

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