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I know they have to do it. At some point, my babies stop being babies.



My oldest took the plunge yesterday. She got her first apartment with a boy. Ok, so he's not a boy, technically, I guess he'd be considered a man. But she's still my baby.



We went over to check it out last night. I had to tell her how to turn on the AC...lol



There were a few things wrong in the apartment that I promptly pointed out, but to my surprise, she said she'd already made note of them and was going to talk to the manager first thing in the morning.



It hurts...I dont' like it.

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight. My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.



Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.



My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.



The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,

But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,



Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.



My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

And I crept to the door just to see who was near. Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night, A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.



A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.



"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,

"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!

Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"



For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,



"I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,

That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.



My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"

Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."



My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',

And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,

But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.



Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag, The red, white, and blue.. an American flag.

I can live through the cold and the being alone,

Away from my family, my house and my home.



I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet, I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,

Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..



Who stand at the front against any and all,

To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,

Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."



"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,

"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast? It seems all too little for all that you've done, For being away from your wife and your son."



Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone, To stand your own watch, no matter how long.



For when we come home, either standing or dead, To know you remember we fought and we bled is payment enough, and with that we will trust, that we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Ok, Thanksgiving has JUST passed. Hell, I'm STILL digesting left over ham!



I'm on my way to work this morning and who comes on the radio? Alvin and the Chipmunks



...now I'm stuck singing this all day



Dave:)Alright you Chipmunks, Ready to sing your song?

(Alvin:)I'd say we are

(Theodore:)Yeah, Lets sing it now!

(Dave:)Okay, Simon?

(Simon:)OK

(Dave:)Okay, Theodore?

(Theodore:)OK

(Dave:)Okay Alvin?...Alvin?...ALVIN!!!

(Alvin:)OKAY!!



(Chipmunks:)

Christmas, Christmas time is near,

Time for toys and time for cheer.

We've been good, but we can't last,

Hurry Christmas, Hurry fast.

Want a plane that loops the loop,

(Alvin:) Me, I want a Hula-Hoop.

(Chipmunks:)

We can hardly stand the wait,

Please Christmas don't be late.



(Dave:) Ok Fellas, Get ready.

That was very good, Simon.

(Simon:)Naturally!

(Dave:)Very Good Theodore

(Theodore:) He He He He

(Dave:)Uh Alvin, You were a little flat

So, watch it, Alvin...Alvin?...ALVIN!!!

(Alvin:)OKAY!!



(Chimpunks:)

Want a plane that loops the loop,

(Alvin:)I still want a Hula-Hoop.

(Chimpunks:)

We can hardly stand the wait,

Please Christmas don't be late.

We can hardly stand the wait,

Please Christmas don't be late.



(Dave:) Very good boys

(A Chipmunk:) lets sing it again!

(Another 1:) yeah lets sing it again!

(Dave:) no thats enough, lets not overdo it.

(A Chipmunk:) what do you mean over do it!?

we wanna sing it again!

(dave:) now wait a minute boys.

(Start Aruguing



I'll die a violent horrid death if I don't find something else to sing...and FAST!

We lost another puppy last night.



My 9 year old went out to check on the little ones and she found one of her favorites tucked under Daisy's paw. Daisy didn't fuss or argue when Sara lifted her paw and took the poor little lifeless pup away.



That's two we've had to bury so far.....it's very hard on Sara, my 9 year old, but jeesh, it's hard on the rest of us too.



I guess you don't realize just how attached you become until something's gone.



I tried to explain to Sara that sometimes there just isn't a reason that we know of. The pup was fine in the morning, or so we thought, but by evening, she was gone. Explanations about life and death (hell, I even threw in an example from the Animal Plant), well, it's never easy.



*sigh*

Prayers and well wishes going out to a very dear friend.



I'll be thinking of you darlin :)

Our rottie gave us a very nice surprise Saturday morning.



She had pups! 11 pups!! We didn't even have any clue that she was pregnant...and now we have 11...well, we had 11 pups. One didn't make it. We now have 10 pups, but still..jeesh!



We had our lab fixed after they created a gorgeous litter, but we decided to wait on the rottie. We wanted to breed her with another rot, but we usually just came up short on the times.



Well, it looks like she took care of business herself. She was at about the right time a while back and I remember her getting out of the back yard, which is odd for her. She NEVER finds her way out. Well, I guess that's when some dog got a hold of her.



*sigh* I guess it's time to get her fixed too.



But 11 puppies!!



Anyone need a rot mix in about 6 wks??? lol

Life is good.

It's a bitch wanting something so bad...and not being able to have it.



I'm thinking maybe I should just CUT BACK instead of stopping cold turkey.



That's the chicken shit way though. That gives me the excuse I need to have just the one.



Then the ONE will turn into just two a day. You get the picture. Before long I'll be back up to a pack a day.



NOW I'm making animal analogies. What the fuck am I going to be saying after another day without cigs.

Hot damn...I CAN do links!

Suicide Jumper



If you have a weak stomach, then don't click on the link below. It is a picture of a suicide jumper taken shortly after he landed.

It shows him with his insides now on the outside. You will see the look of horror on the faces of the bystanders.

By the faces of the bystanders, I believe this photo to be real.



Click Suicide Jumper

Well, the Great American Smokeout is done and gone. I've decided to give this a permanent shot though.



No one died yesterday. I was a little crabby at work, but I truly think that could be attributed more to the over-indulgence of coffee, rather thant he lack of nicotine.



I did smoke one cigarette last night about 7:30pm. It tasted funny and left my mouth dry and yucky.



I'm not saying this is gonna work, but I'm sure gonna give it a shot.



This weekend will be the true test. If I can celebrate (translate to mean drink heavily) and not smoke, then I can quit all together.



I'll let you know how it goes.

I miss you so much! I was so happy to see you today. It was almost as if we hadn't even been apart.



I love that kind of friendship that we have.



Huggles and Smootchies!

Blahhh...



It's only 12:04 pm. I haven't had any cigs today. I HAVE; however, had 3 large cups of coffee. I may have to get de-clawed, or the bitch of the co-worker may go home in shreds today.



I don't like this and I'm not sure I can make it all day....



...to think I actually thought I might be able to make this a permanent thing. I think not.

I'm so fucking pissed off right now.



My son made a great grade on his 6 wks English exam! Great, terrific, excellent, way to go!...these are the things he should be hearing from his teacher.



Instead, she accused him of cheating and he's being made to take the test again.



Tell me what kind of shit is that? This test is completely different from any 'open-ended' quiz that she gives for daily grades.



He had to read two pages of an article and then answer questions about it and the answers were multiple choice.



Now granted, I'm guessing he probably got lucky on a few, but to accuse him of cheating because he made a good grade, seems a little over the top to me, especially since he's never done anything like this before. Making even a 70 would have given him a passing grade...why go for broke and make a 95??



This kid has always had trouble in this particular class. He doesn't care for reading unless it's something that interests him. He had just told me that he felt really good about the test. He came home in a good mood and was telling me about the story.



You know, it's a damn shame that the teacher didn't try to discuss this with him before she just thrust the re-test back into his hands. She would have been able to see the interest in his eyes that I saw. She would have seen that he not only read, but paid close attention to the subject matter.



My heart aches for him right now. He gets kicked in the ass when he tries and does well and he gets pushed and prodded to do better when he doesn't do well. He's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.



I'll get a phone call when he's completed the exam. It's supposedly the same exact exam, so I don't have any doubt that he could do as well as he did the first time. But, he was very upset about it. I did all I could do to fight for him, but in the end, the principal sided with the teacher.



This sucks.

Red and Yellow kill a fellow, Red and Black venom lack:







found this little creature in our back yard

ok...first of all, I looked up after I'd typed that and saw "wet dream" I had to laugh at myself for that one!



Anyhoo! I had this strange dream last night. I kept waking my husband with the screams and moaning. He said I'd wake up almost in tears and very upset. I told him I was being attacked by someone with a knife. I couldn't see who it was, but it was too scary for me to go back to sleep immediately. He said that no sooner than I'd finished explaining the dream to him, I'd be knocked out again and within minutes, I'd be screaming again.



I don't remember much, but I do remember the fear and waking myself up with my muffled cries. I remember trying to scream out....something, or someone's name, but it would never quite make it past my lips, that felt like they were sewn shut!



I was in a room, on a table and I couldn't move. I could hear heavy footsteps coming from another room. They kept coming close rand getting louder! The louder they got, the faster my heart beat, I KNEW what this person was coming to do. I KNEW that I was about to be stabbed to death, and I couldn't move. My entire body felt heavy and completely unmoveable (which explains all the thrashing around, described to me later by my husband).



This ...thing or person would make it into the room and have the knife raised above me and about to start slashing when I would start to TRY to scream!



I woke my husband up twice with the screaming, and after that it was just the soft fearful moans that he could hear until he finally went to sleep.



I woke up this morning and I felt horrible, as if I'd been awake all night.



They say our dreams tell us something. Should I be afraid?



Nahhhh! I'll just drink a glass of wine before bed next time. Silly dreams!