ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS!
Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Little boy at the nude beach.
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach.
As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women Have boobs bigger
than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.
She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns?to tell his
mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'
Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play.
Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother,
'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the
dumber he gets.
COMMENTS
ROFL That is cute! :)
Heh! First thing I thought was...damn! Daddy must be hung like a horse!!!
lol that was cute i have to swipe it
*Giggles*
I had the most amazing lunch ever! It's my mom's birthday Sunday so my nephew and my daughter wanted to take her out to lunch. Today at noon, eleven of us, including my mom, my dad, my sister, myself, a cousin and 5 of her grandchildren went to eat at a chinese buffet.
We gave her a few cards and she was choking up so much, she could barely read them all. The last one was the one we all were waiting for. She opens the envelope and reads the front....something to the effect of...
You're not old until the fat lady sings...
My mother is amazing...when she's emotional..she laughs..so she burst out laughing and we all looked at her like she was nuts! She hadn't even gotten to the good part yet and here she was already laughing.
She finally opened the card and just about jumped out of her chair...It's a musical card..and the fat lady was siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingin!
God we laughed so much. She was in tears from laughing so much. I loved it.
It made her day, and it made mine too.
COMMENTS
That sounds so cool. I love those cards myself. A pirate one and I loveeeee pirates, especially Orlando.
I'm glad you all had a good time....but there is no mention of cake...*goes away thinking*
YEAH WERE THE HELL IS THE CAKE !
sounds like a good ending to the weekend!
Hah! The cake was for Sunday..along with the birthday song and Los Mananitas..we made my mother cry....it was a wonderful day.
I stole this from Meggers :)
What Kind of Empath Are You? created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
You scored as Judge You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/)
|
COMMENTS
STOP THIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shhhhhhhhhhhh!! Someone'll hear ya!
I went to see the new baby nephew this weekend and I was sooo charged up about putting up a few pictures for all to see!
I actually REMEMBERED to bring the cord to download the photos to work. THEN, I actually remembered to actually download them!
I put them in a new folder all by themselves. The scanner and camera wizzard showed that they had been loaded so I closed it out. Then, I went to the folder to try to load them onto my photobucket and...poof they aren't there. No clue what happened and YES I deleted them from my camera.
I HATE TECHNOLOGY SOMETIMES. I SOOOOoooo should have used a disposable.
COMMENTS
man had that same thing happen to me, it really sucks
OH, dammit! I am sure you were right and cross with yourself!
I FOUND THEM! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!
...I can't wait for Dark Lover. Meggers had better put a rush on that order..heh
COMMENTS
HA ! you must wait ohh impatiant one for the united states postal system sucketh
I'm on the last book now...and thrilled to be able to put it up on the book club page so someone else might enjoy them.
God I love reading CountessMoon's journal! Between her and her commenters...jeesh I'm laughing all the time!
Thank you for that, I soo needed it.
COMMENTS
I am glad I could bring a smile to your face and a laugh from deep within'. The sound of those makes the world a wonderful place to live in. :)
It is risque, I love it too :)
Destroyer: One who destroys, ruins, kills, or desolates
I've levelled up! Can I destroy with a smile? I so hate destroying things! *pouts*
COMMENTS
I'm a destroyer. Now, would ja believe it?
*gasps* NEVER!
OH! On a good note! We have a new fabulously, wonderfully, scrumptious looking little bundle of joy in the family! My husband's neice gave birth yesterday evening to a 9 pound, 4 ounce baby boy!! He looks like he should be about 6 months old already, he's so big!!
The poor thing had quite a tough time with delivery too. The doctors ended up deciding that a C-Section would be best. THANK GOD!!
There is no way that tiney woman's body could have handled delivering that 9 pound boy!
After several hours of labor with no progress whatsoever, she was very ready to have the C-section.
He is the most adoreable big bundle I've seen. I absolutely cannot wait to go see him this weekend. They live several hours away, but we'll go up one day this weekend to welcome him to the family and congratulate and spoil his mommy rotton.
COMMENTS
nine pounds??? NINE???!!! oh woah.:D Big healthy boi..congrats!!
Hehe! That's precisely what we exclaimed!!
She really is this tiney little petite thing..so we were flabergasted at the 9 pounder!!
Thank you hon...they are both doing amazingly well.
oh how WONDERFUL !!
i luff babies :) :)
my first child, a daughter, weighed ten pounds and two ounces ! *faints*
AFTER i gave birth to her, my Dr said "Hunny if I had known she was gonna be THAT big, I would have done a C-Section."
WELL..TY ASSHOLE, NOWS a great time to decide that
hahhahaha
i know you cant wait to get your hands on that sweet lil thing !! nothing better than a new baby to play with and a new mommy to spoil !!
Gimme a minute....I just fainted at your 10 pound delivery...WITHOUT a C-section!
Holey christ woman...gotta have lots of pilates to firm that shit up again..hehe
YES! Your right..I can't wait to get my hands on his chubby lil cheeks and smell all that lovely babiness!! I love babies too..but I'm not rich, so 4 is my limit.
Ahhhh *hugs*
I was nearly ten pounds.
Well finally I am scheduled to see the specialist. I see him on the 31st of this month and am really looking forward to it.
I've got my x-rays, my lab work results and today I do the CT scan, so hopefully those results will be ready to take along also.
I'm still not sleeping well. The pain meds they gave me are helping during the day, but they aren't doing much for me at night.
We're supposed to leave for family vacation on the night of the 31st. I'm sure that whatever it is, the specialisit will be able to take care of it. I don't intend to cancel the little family time that we all have together. Not just yet.
I'm so glad I saw you first thing this morning. You make me smile. Even though I can barely figure out whether we're talking heads or tails...this way or that...I enjoy our fun.
My knowledge of poetry and art is pactically, ...no wait...it is...zilch.You must really think me such a ditz sometimes. But you are patient and kind enough not to say so.
For that I thank you. For that and for your friendship. You are really something else.
I've been dealing with horrible allergies for a few days now. I'm sniffling and sneezing non stop and it's driving me AND everyone around me nuts!
I sneeze, my girl at work here, says 'bless you'.
We do this way more times than I can count in one day.
I'm sitting at my desk, and I coughed. She says her obligatory 'bless you' and I said...thanks but that was a cough, not a sneeze.
She turns around and says...well fuck you then.
I laughed so hard I think I had snot pouring out of my nostrils..heh
That's my girl
.....makes me laugh
He's too funny!
....and allergies suck the big one!!
Karma...I've heard so much about that word lately. I've read about it in journals..."karma's a bitch"..."gotta have good karma"...etc., etc., etc.
Well, guess what? The bitch caught up with me :P!!
Yesterday I was being a pain in the ass about the woman here who could not walk in high heels. I even laughed a few times behind her back. On of the deputies walked behind her klonking his shoes on the ground and when she turned around, he just said he was walking like her. She was completely oblivious. she smiled and continued to walk away.
I couldn't HELP but laugh!!
Yesterday evening right before I left to go home, I strained something in my foot. I wobbled home and tried to stay off of it, but it didn't help. This morning, I'm at work in my heels...and I'm wobbling.
I've already seen her give me her 'raised eyebrow, smartass comment coming' look.
Yep...Karma's a bitch, I'm sure of it. BUT, had I not been a bitch yesterday.............would I still be wobbling around today??
Who knows...but it'll teach me to be bitchy...next time I'll just ...what?...teach her how to walk in heels? Politely tell her she looks a little silly in them?...
Ehh....probably not! Chances are...I'd probably giggle (What? It's better than outright laughing!) when the guys make fun of her heels.
I can deal with wobbly.
COMMENTS
thats just a lesson in weebles wobble but they dont fall down, but when people on stilts fall down it is really funny.
awwwww crap i made fun of the heel lady too, now does that mean karmas gonna get my ass too?
I could do a little ditty my grandmother used to do...I think it would save you, but it's aweful silly.
silly never bothered me come on girl BRING IT ON !
Save me from the karma
Alrighty...just don't forget you asked for it!
*gathers up garlic powder*
Walks around lily sprinkling garlic powder in a circle surrounding her....all the while chanting...
Sana, Sana, Colita de Rana....
Sangre de venado, vas por el otro lado....
now close your eyes...*blows a bit of garlic powder in your face*
Ok..my abuela swore this would keep away the bad things!
and you can't shake off the garlic for a few hours either.
DAMN I GOT TO SMELL LIKE GARLIC !
Fuck it I will take my chances with karma lol
Ohhhhh now I'd better not laugh at you or karma might come looking for me *stuffs head under pillow to hide *
LOL...it's ok to laugh....NOW!
When my abuela was doing this shit...everyone was serious..now, hell, we can't help BUT laugh!
*nods*
my karma is so bad here in this round of Life, that if i am, talking shit for no good reason, about ne....something bad happens to me almost INSTANTLY!
that's why i never talk shit while driving or cooking!
too many flat tires and bunged up toes/burns/cuts!
: O
garlic powder?
o..O
Yep..crushed up whole garlic works best, she says, but 'mija, garlic is garlic...and don't forget, it's the force within you that makes it work better',
Ook..so I roughly translated what she'd say in spanish...but that's the jist of it. :)
Come on ladies...can you not tell when walking in certain shoes is not right?
This one is really getting to me! Clunk-drag, Clunk-drag, Clunk-drag, Clunk-drag, Clunk-drag, Clunk-drag. She's clearly not comfortable in them. She is walking almost hunchbacked as if the strain from the heel is too much for her.
I have a pair of shoes that I absolutely adore! They are a gorgeous black strap with a 4" heel adn they look terrific on me......... as long as I'm not moving! For some reason, these particular heels just don't jive with my legs and feet. So what do I do??
I DON'T WEAR THEM
I think I need a beer, this really is grating on my last nerve every time she gets up from her desk.
I don't like to be bitchy, really I don't...but for some reason, this one isn't falling through the cracks.
Twice I've gotten up from my desk and made some clunky noises with my own heels, hoping that she'd kinda get the hint and go home and change those suckers. SHE DID NOT.
Ugh...better to vent my obviously misplaced frustration here than to hurt her feelings and tell her that the new shoes just gotta go or she's got to get some practice in with them first!
Oh...and the outfit she's wearing looks like something my grandmother would wear.
*eek! My bitch mode is in overdrive*
COMMENTS
Hey I'm with you on the heel thing...but don't start dissing granny fashion lol
No no no....not granny fashion....my Grandmother's fashion. :P
Believe me, I doubt you would wear what my grandmother wears.
Please...stop buying shoes that you cannot walk in. If you are used to wearing flats, don't try to impress anyone by wearing heels with your new outfits. Keep your flats..please. The klonking in the halls everytime you move has stopped being funny and is bordering on torturous.
COMMENTS
ROFL I know alot of people like that. I sit and watch everytime they stumble and about break their neck because they don't know how to walk in heels correctly.
lol.
if you can't prance in 4-6" heels, get the fuck off the dancefloor and leave those shoes at home to be used in the BEDROOM....
I do a mean fandango in my sensible shoes lol
lol Kontradiction!! New shoes in the bedroom sound sharp, just my thing *woot"
With this woman....heels of any height would probably be dangerous...in the bedroom or in the office.
Some people just were not made to wear heels.
I can pick out my own car, I can pick the very house I want to buy. I can buy just the groceries I like and any beer I want. Hell, I can even pick out my own underwear.
WHY OH WHY CAN'T I PICK MY OWN FAMILY???
COMMENTS
Ooops, bad day?
Meh...well thanks for reminding me about mine lmao
There was a time I felt the same way...
I feel for you..
But I do know it will be OK,,just get it out & move on..
Don't look back..
Friends Online:
You don't have any friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------
You are on 226
Friend Lists
BUMMER! I guess this means I need to get back to work.
COMMENTS
Lmao....226 and not one of em around ???
It's a damn shame, aint it!!
Hey! I see a face or two...time for a break again!
Haha! vegatitive friends list ...
I could have a huge garden, they are so vegatative! lol
ON a GOOD note!
I received some books in the mail from a good friend. It came with a card and she'd written some really special things in there.
It still gives me a very warm feeling when I think about it.
It was very sweet of her to send the package. She's got kids too. I know she could have used the money she spent on mailing it..on her kids.
I never expected the card too. I'm gonna get mushy.
All the bad things, the not so great moments, the people that walked over me and made me feel like shit...all of it was soo worth it because it led me to the wonderful person that is you.
But mind you, woman...next time, can we just skip the bad shit???
Love ya lots!
COMMENTS
LOL * Makes note to skip the bad shit *
Glad you got the books maybe it will be a good escape from the houseguests.
I now have house guests. My sister has been evicted from her apartment, so she and two of her kids will be temporarily staying with me.
We spent all day yesterday packing, hauling and cleaning. I'm so very sore.
Now, there are three more mouths to feed, because, of course, my sister can't hold down a job, my nephew is 15 and too young to get a job and my neice is working at a place that only calls her when they are shorthanded (not at all since her one day of training).
Hubby and I are already going round and round about it all, because the first night here, my sister calls and wants to know if it's ok if she stays with a 'friend' overnight.
First of all, she's 35 years old, secondly, I'm not her mother or her keeper and Thirdly, she's married (even though her hubbs is in prison). My husband says if she's going to be staying there off and on, she might as well take her shit and stay with her 'friend' all the time. My hub isn't a happy camper.
*sigh* I woke up this morning to a downpour of rain, which we really needed. The a loud bang which I took to be thunder, ended up being my sister arriving home (it's six freakin thirty in the am!). I unlocked the door and the first thing she asks is..."Is your man gone to work already?"
She had her 'friend' drop her off after my husband had already left to go to work because she didn't want to face him.
Yep, this is going to be a really interesting evening.
Someone think good thoughts for me please!~
COMMENTS
*Thinking...thinking*
"Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts."
I bet that tropical vacation is needed even more now.
COMMENTS
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VampTWI
15:16 Jul 31 2008
hahaha...That just proves how many dumbass there are in this world...Helll that is scary just thinking about it haha
Sinora
15:27 Jul 31 2008
Love the mental pause one lmao