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SO it has been a long time since I have written. Well, its been along time since i felt that I could. I was so depressed about what happened to Jared and I that I lost touch of happiness. And writting was one of those things.



Its been several months since we were together. Occasionally he tries to get in touch with me to chat or make my life a living hell. BUt i ignore him just the same.



On a possitive note. I have found a different kind of love. One that doesn;t depend on physical attraction or interaction from either side. Of course we are still attracted to one another but his love for me is almost fictional. He got to know me as a person and believe it or not he was my elementry school crush still up until now. In about 6 months we are going to look at apartments. He makes eveything so perfect. HE always brings that smile to my face even if I feel like being mad for awhile. He was there to pick me up when i fell back into the world of alcohol, drugs, and self mutilization. I am better now.



We help eachother in more ways then one. I never understood what people meant when you asked them "how do you know when you found the right one" and they just say "You just know" I tried to experience that and I kept convincing myself that i had. But with thjis, it is nothing that i have ever tasted before. I just know.