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Ok I did something i shouldn't have. I looked at the comment that I left my ex. I realized I am still not over him. I am over loving him but I still hate his with every blood cell in my body.



I dont want to hate him anymore. I want to be able to hear his name and it not bother me. I read the comment and all that pain and hate has resurfaced. I wish that I could talk to my love about this. But he doesn't want to hear his name any more than I do. So how dO I tell him this is bothering me? How do I get over this love that is burning me?



Whats wrong with my emotions? Why cant I just be filled with peace and love. Nothing else. I just want this to end but then again I don't. I want to know that he feels really bad for what he did to me. I want to be the reason he cant sleep at night. I want every song he hears to remind of how horrible he is....what is wrong with me....

So again i havent written any thing. It seems that the love i was talking about in my last entry is still doing well. Im ussually not good with relatioshships. But i do think that we are past the honeymoon stage.



Lately he has been very irratable. I know that he is going threw his own problems. But it seems when ever i try to help or when ever i do the smallest thing that bothers him, i get the heat for it. I have come to the conclusion that it isn't me. I think that he is dealing with his issues but he doesn't want to. So he is ignoring his and focusing on mine. He doesn't mean to take it out on me but i think he needs to try harder not to yell at me so much.



or am I being selfish? Who knows. I just want it to be like it used to. I just want both of our problems to go away. I guess that i will just have to keep trying harder.