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I don't even know if anyone even reads my entries anymore, but regardless, I like venting.

So, I'm over at my boyfriend's parent's house with him. We spent the night last night and we're spending the night tonight too. I look absolutely terrible ( as usual. well somedays I look way better. ) My hair looks so crappy and messy. I don't have any makeup to put on and no nicer clothes to change into. I'm going to eat with his parents and grandparents tonight at Hibachi Grill. I love that place, but I get nervous eating with others. I'm always afraid I look bad while I'm eating or that I eat too much. I feel fat already. I'm gonna bundle up in one of my favorite coats and never take it off. Not the whole time I'm there. I don't want to show off this stupid baggy shirt or my fat. My hair already looks bad enough. I don't want to show them my fat too. Sigh. please pray everything goes okay. I get so nervous going out with people I'm not already comfortable with.

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SupremeMasterLM
01:37 Apr 18 2016

Talk to your BF. He will understand.

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Morganna777
20:47 Apr 18 2016

Be comfortable in your own skin. You are beautiful in your own way!!!!

Curtsy



Morhanna777

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Well, my cat LB that I've had since I was about 7 years old, died today. He was breathing heavily and his nose was hot and if your cat's nose isn't cold and wet it's automatically a sign of sickness. We rushed him to the vets office that my older sister works at and apparently he had large amounts of fluid built up on his lungs. As they were draining it, he passed away. It's been a sad day for everyone. Especially my grandmother. She adored that cat. Even though he stayed outside. ( my granddad wouldn't allow him to stay inside.. barely ever )

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SupremeMasterLM
04:42 Apr 10 2016

*R.I.P LB*

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I hate looking in the mirror anymore. I purposefully look away from the mirror when I enter a public restroom or a changing room. If I ever catch a glimpse of myself, it startles me a little. I look down quickly and almost start to cry. I don't believe there has ever been a time that I actually enjoyed looking at myself in the mirror. Ever..

You know what I absolutely despise? Animatronics.

Just no. The way they move and their creepy dead eyes that seem to follow you everywhere. Their weird movements and twitches. Just the fact that I know that underneath their clothes/fur/costumes are wires and lights and metal freaks me the fuck out.

It's just plain weird, man. I don't know where my fear of animatronics came from. I just know that I don't want them anywhere near me. Especially Halloween animatronics. Ew, those are the worst. The bigger they are, the scarier they become. I think my fear of them stems from being chased around with an animatronic skull face that moved its eyes and talked when I was like five. Ever since then I have always had a huge fear of animatronics and Halloween animatronics.

There was one time I actually went around them and could somehow deal with it. Last march I went to Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. I asked my sister id there were animatronics there ( cause she had been before ) and she said yes, there were quite a bit. I was pretty wary of it, but by then I was already on the way to Orlando. No turning back now. I didn't see any right when we walked in, but when I got into the Harry Potter portion of the park there were goblin animatronics and cats and snakes. It actually wasn't horrible. I even saw an animatronic Buckbeak. Good thing there weren't any that were horribly scary.

Well, the worst ones were when I went on a Harry Potter ride. You sit in this row of four seats and it takes you through this 4D type of experience. You fly behind Harry like you're on a broomstick and there's this huge dome screen all around you and your seat glides around on this huge track through a building, but it's so dark and you see the screen most of the time, but they mix in animatronics with it and the animatronics literally get so close to you that you could reach out and touch them if you tried. There were animatronic dementors, an animatronic spider and a huge animatronic dragon that blew smoke at you. I mean it was pretty frightening, but it happened so fast that you barely had time to react. Eh, actually the scariest animatronic there was the humongous t-rex that got so fucking close to you and it was so loud.

ugh, I just can't stand them..