The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

1- Miss Feminist
This woman postulates that all the ills of society are orchestrated by men
and the best thing a man can do to improve himself is cut off his
testicles and grow a pair of ovaries. She believes that women are
angelic creatures who would make the world a utopia if only the male
“patriarchy” would allow them to. Any woman who promotes these
absurdities lives in a fantasy world and will have no problem at all
treating a man in a way that she would never herself abide by. You can
easily identify her by her incessant mantra, “All men think with their
penises.” Avoid her at all costs.

2- Miss Take
She’s out for your money — pure and simple. Miss Take is the ultimate in
high maintenance. She expects a man to finance her entire life just
because she is biologically female. To her, a man should pay for
drinks, dinners, trips, flowers, and jewelry, while she feels
absolutely no guilt or compulsion to reciprocate. She is nothing but a
whitewashed prostitute. Miss Take thinks her vagina is plated with gold
and is worth a million dollars. She is greed personified. Since she has
no concept of someone else’s feelings, her only interest is in getting
what she wants. And don’t be fooled — some apparently very “nice”
girls are the greediest of them all.

3- Miss Romance
This type of woman lives in a fantasy world of Lifetime Channel movies and romance novels. Every night she goes home alone to spend hours flipping through her bride magazines, imagining that, at any moment, Prince Charming will ride up on his white horse, sweep her off her feet, and
offer her a problem-free existence for the rest of her life. The Miss
Romances of the world have been coddled by parents and family, told
they are “princesses,” and have absolutely no idea that real life
consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets. Miss Romance will expect
to be taken care of, will be a dud in bed, and will, almost overnight,
turn into a shrieking nag. Run.

4- Miss Elusive
This woman is closely allied to Miss Romance, but with a dark side. She is
usually one of the “walking wounded” — someone who has been hurt in
past relationships and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships
in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter
frustration, as first she shows great interest in you, but very quickly
runs away — then repeats this cycle over and over again. Miss Elusive
is the queen of mixed messages. She will flirt with you and date you,
but you’ll never get past “friend” status. What you will get is a
million excuses for her unavailability, all calculated to deceive
herself that she just doesn’t have time for a relationship. Save
yourself some heartache — don’t get involved with her.

5- Miss Angry
Like Miss Feminists, Miss Angry really don’t like men. They scorn the male
gender and can rattle off all the wrongs and misdeeds of every man
they’ve ever encountered. To Miss Angry, there’s no such thing as a
nice guy — they’re all “jerks,” “creeps” and “pigs.” Many of them have
lots of simmering anger towards men, which can explode at any moment like an erupting volcano. Unless you’re into lots of drama and screaming, stay away.

6- Miss Insecure
This woman seems great at the start because she’s very nice, accommodating and treats men well. But her inner insecurities don’t take long to surface. Pretty soon she’s calling you 10 times a
day, asking to see “where the relationship is going,” or because she
“just wants to hear your voice.” She needs constant reassurance that
she’s attractive, and worries incessantly about her makeup, hair and
the alignment of her clothes. She’s clingy, needy and compulsively
agonizes that you’re going to leave her at any moment for “someone
better.” This kind of thing can get really creepy really fast.

7- Miss Bitch
Miss Bitches are the sulkers, pouters and ball-busters of the female world.
They are very unpleasant people who treat their fellow humans poorly,
care only about themselves, and aren’t concerned at all if they hurt
you or anybody else. Most Miss Bitches qualify as Miss Takes, too. Miss
Bitches are usually good-looking and well dressed, and you can easily
identify them by the scowls on their faces as they imperiously strut
through the world.

8- Miss Me
A close relative of Miss Bitch, Miss Me is entirely focused on herself. Miss Me
needs to be the constant center of attention no matter what she does or
where she goes. She is a selfish, self-indulgent, self-serving
narcissist who was raised as “daddy’s little girl,” and expects the
same from you. Unless you enjoy the company of spoiled brats, stay far,
far away.

9- Miss Desperate
Whether it’s her baby clock ticking or she’s the last of her girlfriends to trap a man, Miss Desperate wants to get married — now. She doesn’t
care who the guy is or what he does — as long as he’s got a penis she
can drag him to the altar. Watch out for this one!

10- Miss Turncoat
She’s a conniving little piece of work who’s an expert at conning men. Miss
Turncoat will tell you exactly what you want to hear until you’re
hooked deep into the relationship (or married) and then the truth comes
out. Overnight, your sweet little girl turns into a demanding, greedy,
mercenary harpy who will browbeat you into submission if she doesn’t
get her way.

11- Miss Tease
Usually, you can spot Miss Teases a mile away because she flirts with anything
in pants and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity. Sometimes she
sponges off older men; sometimes she’s a ball-buster who enjoys getting
men sexually excited and then walking away; and sometimes she just
basks in her sexual power by attracting men like bees to honey. No
matter how she operates, you can’t trust her because she craves male attention and if somebody better comes along, she’ll dump you in a heartbeat.

12- Miss Controlling
She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what
friends you can have, what you can eat — everything. And if you try to
stand up for yourself, she will cut off sex, cry, scream, pout, or use
any other deceptive female tactic until you give in and succumb to her
demands.

13-Miss All of the Above.