The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

well i guess i can say that things are going alright, then again if you were to sit there and just think and wonder..you would be suprised on what you might find entertaining..then again i guess that's just how things are..but if you think about it there is alot of things that are rather different..but there is also other things that make you wonder..and well as i sit here and type this out..but i woke up feeling rather just..pissed and just fucking annoyed..and that is due to the fact that i really can't do what i want..but then again i do what i want all the time..but the way i see it i sit there and do everything else that everone else wants to do..but that is just what i think, but i could be wrong..but you see..all i can really do is just sit here and let the time go by and really i guess that is a good thing..but at times it can't be all that good..but eh im just a person that lives a life..in this world that is just fucked up..



I have to say that also when you do alot of things for people you tend to get ran over alot..or used..but i can't say that for alot of people..there isn't alot of people out there that will do that..i mean i have some good friends yes..and they are awsome as fuck. so i can't class them as someone that does that..but i have known people that do that for a living..or they will do it just so they can get what they want..but why is that..why is it that alot of people do that..is it cause of the fact that they can by with it..i dont know it just puzzles the fuck out of me..but i guess that's how the world works..but eh..you really can't stop it or try to take care of it cause of the fact that well they will keep doing it no matter what..and that's just messed up. Im just rambling yes i am but that is alway a good thing cause of the fact that well things get held deep within you and that can cause you to break down or worse make you go after those that have pissed you off..why am i sitting here rambling.well cause i have nothing else to do..and it was just one of those days to where you are just fucking annoyed with everyone else..and i guess that's just how things work out. But i can't say that everything is all that bad due to the fact that wll im still here..im still alive..and im still going..but for how long is the question. You see yourself wondering around and thinking things you never thought you could..but its just how your mind works.



The way someone's mind works is just amazing to me..our mind is so fucking harsh at times we just dont know why..but alot of people will sit there and let their mind go on or go off on someone you dont know..or someone you love. I think that is why alot of people end up killing someone else is due to the fact that their mind has had enough and it was its way of cleaning out the trash..am I wrong..or am i right..is that what makes others go and kill other people..but i dont think it does..i think that people do it just because they can..and if they have nothing in life then they dont care about going to Jail..but why it there and just let your life go like that..maybe you will become a better person..then again you could become someone you dont want to be..that's where the personality's come from..yes alot of people have thos personality things..and well i guess its just something that happens when you end up doing something you really shouldnt of done..but then again i guess it just because those people are nuts..HAHAH yeah that's the thing..people are nuts..but eh you can't change that or anything.



I wont if i am able to pull off something good or something that will fuck up my life more then it already is..but is that just me..or am i just the type of person that will end up snapping one day and not really caring..i have a feeling that is something that will happen with me..and well i wont be able to stop it or let alone control myself..but that is just me..that is just what i think..but once i do end up snapping i hope to god that i am not around anymore, for years i have held in alot of things..and i tend to keep doing it..i dont think that will ever change and well once it does then my mind will slowy down and think..but as for right now..I belive that wont happen anytime soon just because well im the quiet type and really you can't help but to watch those..you can't help but to sit there and wonder if they are going to do something or if they are just going to snap off at you, but once us quiet ones snap its like war with other people, we will go off on anyone and everyone that is around..but that is just how we are..I find myself thinking of way to hurt or even kill someone and i have many of ways i could but do i really put them to the tes..no i dont..not yet anyways..but if i was to..im sure i would go to jail for alot of murders..or what not...but yeah i think that would be fun is to just fucking gut someone and watch them stagger for breath..oh that would be awsome..but would i be able to handle the fact of going to jail...hmm im not even to sure abuot that..but then again im sure i would get by with it just because of the fact that well im taking my anger and everything else out on someone else..someone i dont even know..and well i believe that i could do that..i beleive i could handle the fact of fucking strangling someone just for the sheer fact of pleasure hearing someone elses pain seep out of their lips...ah yes..the sweet sound of pain..screaming and what not..oh that would be awsome..i mean ..hmm



I think my mind is going off things..but then again its is just how my mind works..but i do belive that well as i sit here and speak of it..it will just build up more and more within my little mind..oh god..how i would just lke to run up on someone and stab them in the back..all the while telling them how to count backwards from 100..would that work..would that help make someone relax and what not so they dont feel alot of pain..no i would want them to feel the pain i would want them to fucking scream.and try to tell me no..and try to pull away..but then again i might get to excited off that..but how the fuck would i know..all i know is that i would just keep them close and let them die..or i could just stab them to the point they wouldn't want to walk..or run or what not..but then again if i was to let them go..im sure they would rat me out..but i would give the cops something to go by..just alittle something but nothing to big..and that is just enugh to make them go "hmm who is this killer" hahah yeah that would be perfect..can i plot a good killing rage..or a good plan..yes i can but i haven't been able to sit down and do it..cause i would go into it just to much and get off on it. But the way i see i would just let people suffer i wouldn't kill them oh no..i wouldn't i want them to suffer i would make them go to the hospital just so they could remember the time..and have nightmares about it..oh god i would love that i would love to give someone nightmares..that would be the shit..well i believe so anyways..and well if they were to keep that nightmare..then their live would be a living hell and i believe that is the best way to do it to someone..but then again would you want them to remember your face..no..give them someone worse to look at in their nightmares..give them something that would make them wake up crying and screaming or make it where they would be afraid to walk in the dark..oh god yes..that would be the FUCKING SHIT!



i mean the way i see it if your going to do that to someone make it worh the while..dont let them see your face..but something way different..something that will just send shivers up anyones spin, that is how i would play the game of death..that is how i would take people out..but i gues that will never come but then again im sure it will..i just have to play my cards right and if i really knew how to play my cards i would have them just right i would keep them on the table and just fucking let everyone see what was coming up.but then agian i could just play it slow..i would just let it take its time and fucking play out slow..just for one person..maybe more maybe less i dont know yet..but that time isn't here yet..when i hit that time then i will see to it..but hell im not even to sure what time that might be..it could be tomorrow it could be..i dont know..no one ever knows..but that is just me..as i said..im the one that sits in the head all the time..im the one that makes you do things you should do..but if i was to come out and play the world around the person would be in hell..could they really hold that could they really do it..im sure they could..but then again they might be scared out of their mind..hahahahah yeah that's it..that's how things are..that's how things are played..let me ouT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT!!! that is all i say that is all i ask for..please LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT!!!!!!



Do i really make sense to you..do i really make any sense to anyone does anyone even listen to me..NO! they dont they always make me do the things that they want to do..they dare not let me take fully control..but then again im sure if they were to do that everyone would be a walking killing machaine..and well i dont think the world is ready for that..yes im powerful and yes im rather harsh and yes i tend to make thoughts come into play with yourself..but you keep pushing me away you keep pushing me to the side..and not letting me do what the FUCK I WANT TO DO TO!!!! but why is that..i guess its just because of the fact that NO ONE COULD HANDLE ME and no one would be willing to help me out.but then again have you really tried? No you haven't and that is due to the reason that well your scared..yes your scared..and well that is just how it plays out..come on..LET ME OUT!! let me play let me see the world..let the world see me for who I really am..let everyone see what could really happen..but.wait a min..you are nothing but pure fucking mortals..your scared..your scared of things you can't FUCKING HANDLE!!!!! hahahaha yeah that's what it is..when someone or something new is around you just fucking cant handle it and your run from it..you make it to the point that things will hide it! Ah yes the sweet smell and taste of fear..followed by the sweet taste of someone elses blood..mmm that is just fucking amazing..well i would have to say that it is..and its just something so fucking wonderful..im not talking about my own fucking blood..or my hate..im talking about others..im talking about others that are FUCKING SCARED OF EVERYTHING!!!



Come into my secret world Follow my darkest memories become my god of death Protect me from the screams look into my shadow eyes hang onto the look of lust I will not tell you lies You'll like my total trust Push my face down under water and cover me with burning oil Bring me to the massive slauther make my blood boil Im not alive..I will be strong for you I will be hard as stone Tell me your darkest sercrets your dreams in your world.



She casts no shadow in the sweet depths of the sleep machine and ruin children al the angels in your dreams are the changes in the world she use to know she found redemtion in a past that came undone we are all on our way to demnation If we die in dreams we die foreal her precisous lies grim across her pitted sin, these are changes in a world she use to know.



How many times will i ask myself why how many times,how many time will i ask myself why how many times will i cry. How many time will you hoo your horn and say fuck you, now what the fuck does that do. you feel better now i didn't let you pass, how bout i stop my car and beat your fucking ass. How many times will my neighbor beat his wife somewhere in that house there's a butcher knife fucking drunk swinging his fist about.why dont you wait till he sleeps and take him out.How many time will i sit in a hot car traffic jam been sitting for a fucking hour must be an accident i hope no one died finally get there and the crash is on the other side.The cowkers roll by slow hoping they could see a mangled body show some park and sit there and watch it all with their kids,they poiunt and fucking stare.



Break my back,you wont break me all is black but i still see. shut me down knock me to the floor shoot me up, fuck me like a whore.



A millon faces each a millon lies for each and all chrome desquies prom for action false reaction Imbody promised she's so pure half the mesure a blind impestion the testement to your single blood disese. these are the desires giving you away. if i could change your mind i would safe you from the path you wonder in disparation dreams i would set you free and i still hear your screams in every breath and every single motion.