The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

To serve 6 persons.



You will need;



1 large (approx 5lbs) cut of beef (US choice round cut or UK silverside/topside)

18 medium-sized potatoes

2 large red onions

6 medium-sized closed cup mushrooms

3 large carrots

1 large head broccoli

Salted butter

Clear Honey

Ground Ginger

Pepper

Salt

14oz Plain Flour

Fresh fine chopped cilantro

Fresh chopped chives

3/4 pint milk

6 eggs



To prepare;



Pre-heat the oven to 470f.



Beef cook time: 20 minutes at high (470f), then add 20 minutes per pound at 380f (120 minutes total for 5lbs).



Wash the beef and leave a little fat on the top. Place the beef on enough aluminium foil to wrap over and cover the meat in a parcel. Spread a little butter over the fat and lightly sprinkle some flour over the top. Place the beef in a deep roasting pan and add half a pint of water in the bottom, outside of the foil. Place on the middle rack of the oven. After 30 minutes, add a little more water. After 60 minutes, uncover the top of the beef and baste with the juice. Allow the juice to mix with the water in the pan. Add a little more water as required to ensure that the pan does not dry out. Continue basting at 15 minute intervals until finish time.



Heat a large roasting pan in the oven with a generous amount of vegetable oil.

Peel the potatoes, boil them lightly for 10 minutes, and drain while still firm. Place into a bowl and add a knob of butter. Use a fork to distress the potatoes, coating them in the butter. Sprinkle a little of the flour over the top.



Potatoes: 40 minutes from beef finish time: Add the potatoes to the pan of oil and baste. Place close to the top of the oven. Cook until brown with a crisp coating.



Broccoli: 20 minutes from beef finish time: Wash and chop the broccoli into small florets. Remove as much stem as required. Add to a metal colander/steamer and sprinkle the cilantro over the top. Steam until slightly soft, but still firm.



Carrots: 10 minutes from beef finish time: Scrub the carrots and remove the tip and head. Cut in half lengthways. Take each half and slice diagonally across them at even intervals. Bring a low pan of water to the boil. Add a spoonful of honey and a dash of ground ginger to the water. Add the carrots and simmer on a medium heat.



Gravy: 10 minutes from beef finish time: Finely chop the onion and quarter the mushrooms. Heat a shallow frying pan with a knob of butter. Add the onion first, then the mushrooms and reduce down until browned. Add salt and pepper to season.



Yorkshire Pudding: Take a metal muffin pan and grease the cups with the vegetable oil, then place on the bottom rack of the oven to heat. Add the milk and eggs to a bowl and whisk with a little salt and pepper to season. Add 12oz of sifted flour and continue to whisk. Take the hot pan out of the oven and pour the mixture to ¾ fill each cup. Return to the oven after removing the beef and place the muffin pan on the middle rack. Cook for approx 10 minutes, or until risen and brown. Do not open the oven again until the puddings are finished, or they will deflate.



Remove the beef from the roasting pan and leave to rest for 5-10 minutes before carving, but keep the juices and strain them into a large measuring jug. Pour the juice into the pan with the mushrooms and onion and stir to create the gravy. Leave to simmer on a low heat.



When carving, the beef should be a strong pink in the middle, turning to grey towards the outside. Juices should run clear, but there may be some small amount of blood when carving. Internal temp of the beef after leaving the oven, should be 140f.



Place the gravy into a dish for pouring over the meat and into the centre of the puddings and serve.

COMMENTS

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Sevenn
22:47 Jul 27 2008

That sounds delicious. I am especially thankful for the pudding instructions and will definately try it at some point. You know, this will sound strange, but I guarantee the results: if you cook a roast and add one can of DIET coke or pepsi to the liquid you cook the roast in, it tenderizes the meat in a way you will hardly believe. It does nothing to affect taste however, its a great trick.

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Xzavier
22:51 Jul 27 2008

Damn it STABB I'm trying to watch my weight! Now I have to go eat lol



Sounds great, I'll have to make that sometime..who knew the Brits could make good food? :P

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STABB666
23:07 Jul 27 2008

I'm sorry Sevenn, but there's no way I'm tainting my wonderful, tasty and moderately healthy British cuisine, by adding trashy American soda pop to it.



I will fight it in the canteens, in the restaurants, and in the kitchens. And I will never surrender!



A chef has to retain one's self-respect, one's dignity, if one is to stop one's self from sliding the slippery slope towards McDonalds...



:P

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Bones
23:09 Jul 27 2008

You're hired, when can you start? ;P

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STABB666
23:13 Jul 27 2008

Xzavier,



I must take offence at your baseless insinuation that British food is not god. How dare a person of American culinary experience criticise our glorious menus!



Go back to your Sonic and Wendys and tell me that you are proud of processed, animal leftover reshaped patties and hot dog meats!



How many Michelin stars do KFC have, huh!?



;)

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artemka
23:13 Jul 27 2008

Do you want fries with that ??



*runs*

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Joli
23:27 Jul 27 2008

How's your Quorn roast and veggie gravy with Yokshire pudding?

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STABB666
23:29 Jul 27 2008

Get out.



Just...get out.



:P

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MBK
00:05 Jul 28 2008

20 minutes per pound for five pounds = 120 minutes? Wouldn't it only be 100 minutes? ;P

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KCRC
01:17 Jul 28 2008

Wow that sounds good!



A splash of sherry in the gravy wouldn't hurt though.

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Sevenn
07:52 Jul 28 2008

From a nation bourne on blood pudding and kidney pie...take the fecking diet coke suggestion and run with it!

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Irony
15:22 Jul 28 2008

Oh do not knock steak and kidney pie until you have tried it. It is THE comfort food of choice:) Jo, if you find your way over here, I will make the quorn and gravy and Stabb can make the rest:D I am now a six year veteran in the art of quorn;)

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STABB666
20:19 Jul 28 2008

My dear MBK...I would have thought a stint in the forum would have helped your numeracy skillz.



Sadly, 20 minutes, plus 5 times 20 minutes, does indeed make 120 minutes, or 2 hours, for benefit of the chronologically challenged.



20 + (5 x 20) = 120



120 / 60 = 2



:P

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STABB666
20:22 Jul 28 2008

Well Sevenn, I must admit to being ashamed of both black pudding, and haggis.



Once, as an innocent child, I ate and enjoyed such exotic and spiced foods.



Now, as an educated adult, I find myself repulsed and unable to look at my reflection in the stainless steel of the kitchen counter...

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Sevenn
03:48 Jul 29 2008

I wasn't even going to mention haggis (or eel for godssakes), being that I am a somewhat civilized human being.



But... O.o stainless steel countertops in a home kitchen? I like that...

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POST COMMENT

Personally, and for what it's worth, I genuinely believe that there has been a case of mistaken identity.



And if I'm wrong, it's no big deal, really.

COMMENTS

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Joli
00:19 Jul 22 2008

for what it's worth...I agree.

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Sinora
13:50 Jul 23 2008

For what it's worth, I would probably agree if I knew what you were talking about lol

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POST COMMENT

Sometimes, I let things affect me in very negative ways. People too. But at the end of the day, I shouldn't, because they aren't what matters to me.



The thing that matters to me most, is a shared future of togetherness and happiness.



When something happens to threaten that, I react badly. I want to fix it straight away, because I can't bear the thought of it having been damaged.



I'm a perfectionist and I don't like it when I'm not perfect. I have trouble admitting mistakes and try too hard to make up for them.



But all I can do is learn from that. We can't attach blame to inanimate objects, any more than we can deny our own actions.



But sometimes, sorry doesn't seem like enough.

COMMENTS

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Bones
05:20 Jul 12 2008

Been there, done that, and failed... Life goes on.

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Sinora
10:51 Jul 12 2008

What you mean is, your human, in fact your a damn fine human, so stop being so hard on yourself.

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deathnitegrl
01:36 Jul 18 2008

I feel the same.

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Requiem
15:14 Jul 19 2008

What do you mean you're not perfect?!



DAMMIT!



*thinks about going on a rampage, then realizes she can't be arsed*



So. Pokey, McPokerton.



.... Why the hell did I just call you that?

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POST COMMENT

If anyone is wondering why I haven't been as active for the past weeks, there are a few reasons.



Moving out and having to find somewhere to live is only one.



Updating the website is another that takes the hours away, but for a worthy cause.



Reconnecting with the person whom I care most about right now is another important use of my very limited time.



I've also had four straight weeks of late shift at work, which takes it toll on the sleep and spare time.



But there is good reason to let myself loosen up on VR. It's not a place that makes me feel good very often any more. All the time I spend on here, is done moderating. My journal has suffered from a distinct lake of creativity and my input to the Coven has been limited.



I've rare contact with friends whom I used to speak to on a regular basis, but we all have lives outside of the internet.



But all that aside, it's good to know that other Dominars are taking up the task and that does really help remove some of the pressure I was feeling, so I am at least grateful for that.



VR isn't an entirely negative place, but there are a lot of people I really just don't want to associate with, which, next to the strangeness I receive whenever I come out of lurking, makes me not really want to spend my time here any more.



My PM will lapse in 7 hours, but I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for the privilege of donating my precious time.



Not being able to lurk will be a pain in the ass.

COMMENTS

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Bones
02:34 Jul 12 2008

You'll be fine... ;)

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STABB666
02:40 Jul 12 2008

I'm sure I will, thanks to your undermining of the point I was trying to prove!



:P

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Sevenn
02:58 Jul 12 2008

You do tremendous things to uplift the quality of this site. In spite of it all, you remain a good man and a kind person. Your premium membership expires in 7 hours? I doubt that.

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Sinora
10:53 Jul 12 2008

Lurking is essential for your sanity...keep with the premium.

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xxEmaeraldxx
15:24 Jul 12 2008

One thing I have grown to understand around these parts is to have no expectations regardless of the amount of time, effort, or input you put into VR. However, it should be a place that you enjoy, because if you don't enjoy it why bother even moderating.



P.S. It is past seven hours and your PM hasn't lapsed =)

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STABB666
21:04 Jul 12 2008

Someone has been kind enough to purchase an extra six months for me. I do appreciate that, but the point was that I pay to work for someone. Doesn't that seem strange to anyone else?

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deathnitegrl
01:38 Jul 18 2008

Hehe yes it seems strange but that's it.



And indeed the lurking button is really a needed priviledge!

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POST COMMENT

So here I am, homeless again, having just left the house I shared with a very strange person.



Sometimes, I do wonder how I meet these people.



For the past couple of weeks, I've been waking to find a potted plant in the shower, with my housemate having had her shower already...



And since I've been there, I've noticed that while I'm being told that 'this is your home too', there is no evidence of my existence there beyond the bedroom I rented. And I'm quite an outgoing, expressive person.



One reason for this is the response I received when I suggested that I put one of my monitors in the sitting room. 'I don't think so, it would upset the balance of energies'.



Now, people who know me, know that I have a thing for understanding energy flows. But even to me, this is silly.



For the past couple of weeks, the atmosphere has been quite negative, but here I am being accused of creating that. So I left. I wouldn't want to be the reason for someone's unhappiness.



Especially if I'm not doing it on purpose.

COMMENTS

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Morrigon
00:01 Jul 11 2008

Lord people like that irritate me...

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imagesinwords
00:07 Jul 11 2008

"I don't think so, it would upset the balance of energies."



Sounds like something you'd see in a TV sitcom.

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Xzavier
00:15 Jul 11 2008

I knew someone like that, tis best you left for your own good :)

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Yendor
00:58 Jul 11 2008

"I don't think so, it would upset the balance of energies." You should have appropiately replies... "err.. WHOSE energies exactly?!"

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hisdarkestdream
01:20 Jul 11 2008

That's ridiculous. I hope you find some place better where you won't "upset the balance of energy."

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darkicewolf
01:31 Jul 11 2008

Aw You make the Chi unhappy lol

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Irony
06:12 Jul 11 2008

Damn, that sucks spectacularly. I am sorry you are having to go through all of this upheaval:(

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placidchaos
06:54 Jul 11 2008

I've been there, it sucks. I hope for the best for you!

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Sinora
14:18 Jul 11 2008

I like the part where you write, especially if I'm not doing it on purpose lmao...ahhhh you could upset my balance anytime *grins*

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Nightgame
22:34 Jul 11 2008

If the plants are hiding in the shower the energy was already screwed. Good luck finding a better spot. PS don't drink the Bells before you look for it :)

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meeper
01:37 Jul 12 2008

To live with someone, to have a common understanding of personal space and boundaries, and to have a harmonic existence seems almost as difficult as living with a spouse. Grant it you'll be fighting over who ate the cottage cheese and not where the hell did my paycheck go, but it is still hard to find a good mate.

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POST COMMENT

Let us now look at the most famous Fucking Moron, Baby Bush.

Who else is a Fucking Moron?

First up, The Scientologists...

lol

So, Monday at work should be an interesting experience for me, judging by my vague recollection of last night and the subsequent commentary I've received today...



While the Americans were celebrating the throwing off of yokes and royal patronage, I was making my way through a bottle of 8 year old Bells.



Normally, I wouldn't drink that piss, but when you get someone else to buy your alcohol because you're still at work, and then ask for 'a decent bottle of scotch', one finds that standards of decency are relative.



But that's a small aside to the story. I understand that there is a story, but considering that I have a space of several hours where I took an intermission from reality, I'm going to have to piece it together by surreptitiously questioning those present, whilst not giving away the fact that I have no recollection of that event, Senator...



I do know that at one stage, I was temporarily blind. I know this because I was suddenly hit with a brief moment of clarity, before it all became a blur once more.



I also know that I returned home, a significant achievement by all opinions on the matter, with all my possessions and money. I did however wake my housemate up at 4am, because I thought I had lost my keys, but was so shitfaced, I couldn't recognise the sense of touch in my pocket, so naturally assumed that I had lost them at some point, which was fairly possible at that stage.



How I was let into a nightclub, I don't know. A responsible bouncer would have turned me round, put me in a taxi and sent me on my way, but I did apparently look quite lucid.



How deceptive of me. In actuality, I was on quite another plane of reality, talking shit that didn't make sense by the end of the sentence.



This worked to some degree of effectveness in getting rid of people we didn't want to talk to.



It did also however, cause one colleague to remark- "Fukin hell xxxx, you are one crazy MO FO!!!

Hope your not feeling too bad today!!!"



What I could have done to gather this kind of response, is still a mystery to me, and like Scooby, "I dunno".