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My Personal Reflections on the school years
18:04 May 15 2006
Times Read: 541
Ok the red is something I wrote last year in my xanga...Most of it still holds true, so please read it...comment if you like...the blue is the changes for this year...
I know i havent been posting much lately but there really isnt anything to write. But right about now i feel really emotional...Ive been thru so much shit this year...both good and bad...and I've made so many friends, become so much more than I ever thought i could be...I went from a shy, insecure, lonely girl to a hyper, multipersonalitied, actress...I wasnt totally sure id make it through this year...I figured id have attempted suicide or done some stupid shit to get myself in trouble bcuz life wasnt gunna be worth living...but now i have so many reasons to live and be happy here... To name a few : Brick, Shun, Liz, and Krystal. Those r 4 of my very best friends in this entire state and without them I wouldnt be me...Theyve helped me become a better person, and i dont know how im gunna be over the summer...Life isnt life without them...Sure i dont say this stuff around them but i mean its true...Some of my friends i wont be able to see next year and its kind of a scary thought...Ive lost enuff friends due to schools and moving...dont wanna lose anymore...It seems i never used be able to really depend on anyone...sure some of my old best friends have said ill be there if you need to lean on me or if u need me...but it seems these are tho only year of friends that have really been true...No one ever really sees the real me...but theyve gotten so close this year its kinda weird...People always say that theyll be friends forever but i mean it seems i have no reason to believe it...except now...I would have never expected that i could become all that ive had in such a short time...Iknw i know...Ashley being sentimental? wut gives? I guess i shouldnt mention the fact that i have tears in my eyes...It just seems that the older and older i get the more my friends mean to me...I remember i was 10 years old and came down here to visit...I made it thru 5 weeks...I came down here when i was maybe 13 years old...i dint last more than 3 weeks...I dont know if i could ever leave...It would hurt me way to much to do that...I know im repeating the asame thing over and over but i mean for the summer im losing the things that matter most to me...Ooops there goes the tear...it fell...
Anyways... to get to the point... to all my friends...I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
There has been a slight change. The friend's I listed...Brick is still there, as is Krystal. But shun went byebye and I miss her mucho. We had lotsa good times. Me and Alicia kinda grew apart but shes still a good friend. Now I need to add in Ry, cuz i love him so much and I know i wouldnt have made it through without him. Amanda, cuz she's been such a good friend this year...mucho love to her...And Kristen. We've all gotten so close this year, and I cant picture my life without all of my friends. It's so hard to have to move on. I know some of my friends are graduating, and I wish them the best of luck. Others might be moving, and that breaks my heart...I love you...Everyone...It really hasnt affected me ((the end of the year)), but I think it just hit me. This may be the last time I see some of ym friends. Idk how well I'll be able to handle that. I have two years left with the majority of my friends, and now it doesnt seem long enough...not even close. Some I'll lose nexct year...
I guess it's just growing up...
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