One of these days I am going to belt my husband, and NOT in a GOOD way....
Scott, as he is prone to do, is always changing out the screensaver for the computer...it is always something gothic, tasteful, very beautiful, and I most heartedly approve...
As is my wont, I got up this morning, turned on the computer, but didn't turn on the screen. I went and got something to drink, visited the "facilities" (good thing too) and got comfortable after the computer had finished doing it's loading up thang.
I reached over, flipped on the monitor, and THIS is what I was greeting with on a 17 inch diagonal screen.....
Suffice it to say, it was a tad bit unnerving....LMAO
Sunday I worked a function at the club for the graduating class of kinesiology students....i.e:
"the study of the principles of mechanics and anatomy in relation to human movement "
Almost ALL of them got sufficiently lubed on doubles to make ALL movement fascinating to watch...lol
One girl walked past me in a dress that brought my favorite movie line STRAIGHT to the fore....
"Looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket..."
The next girl to walk past the bar was wearing a watermelon pink dress, pleated skirt down to mid thigh, and was wearing absoLUTELY no underwear....
"But WAIT" ( I can hear you saying) "surely she was just wearing a thong, and you at your advanced age, just didn't realize this....."
Let me fill you in chilluns....when a young lady is wearing a dress like that, and bends over AT THE WAIST to pick up something she dropped, you CAN TELL she isn't wearing anything underneath.....
COMMANDO ain't got NOTHING on this chick...lol
And when they play AC/DC Back in Black, the geek extraordinaire just comes FLYING out of the guys....and that much cleavage around HAD to have incited a few illicit thoughts...LMAO
I just LOVE watching Canadians dance...
Scott and I went out to dinner with his dad last night, and after we left, I told Scott the fog up the mountain (where I now work) looked like snow to me....he just glared at me in that "don't you EVEN dare" tone of voice, and then had the unmitigated GALL to look at me, giggle and say the magic words...
"BOOGAH BOOGAH"
I told him no, you had to do it right, so I promptly:
Waved my hands over my head and THEN said the magic words
"BOOGAH BOOGAH"
On the way home from the mall we drove through the following:
Rain
Rain and Sleet
Rain and Hail
MORE Rain
and yes folks, at the magical crest o de hill, as we are sliding down INTO New Westminster.....
IT FUCKING STARTED SNOWING.......
It continued to snow for the better part of the next 4 hours....
When I headed for work this morning, by the time I got to the country club there was
THREE
INCHES
OF SNOW
on the ground-the place looked like a magical fairy land...
And I have laughed my ass off ALL DAMN DAY
at Scott....because, yes, you guessed it...
he blamed ME for this...LMAO
To my Kentucky girls- here it is, the end of April almost, and I got SNOWED on.......
:D
Last Thursday, Scott was supposed to get me up early so we could run do legal stuff at his dad's work, before I went to work- he fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up at 9:30, realized he hadn't come to get me, I peaked out, and there he was snoring- so I put him to bed, took a shower, and went to check my email, only to find this note on the desk:
SHOWER DRAIN PLUGGED- NEED PLUNGER
So I went and did the legal paperwork thingy, got a plunger, and headed up to do battle. As I am manhandling this plunger, I began to think what would happen if, along with all the little pieces of hair that were coming out, I actually managed to pull one of the rats (see previous entries) out through the drain...
I know...but damn...it made me have to stop and get a grip on both myself AND the plunger, for a few, before continuing battle....
I eventually heard a LOUD sucking noise, and out pops a wad of hair the size of a small kitten...
So can anyone PLEASE tell me why I wasted $10.00 bucks making SURE I got Drano down that damn drain for the past THREE months?
Saturday, yet again, have to get up to go to work- Scott had stayed up all night playing his new video game...I decided to make a MickeyD's run to feed us before I head out, and halfway there, some guy pulls up, signals me to roll down my window, and says "Do you know your brake lights aren't working?"
um...NO
Get to McDonald's, get our food, get back to the house, to find out McDonald's had *say it with me* FUCKED ME AT THE DRIVE THRU...
Nothing was right, which didn't sit well with Scott....
THEN I have to tell him about the lights, so he in turn had to take me to work, and head to Canadian Tire. THAT little trip went from fixing a couple of light bulbs to light bulbs, cleaning the battery terminals, fluid changes and replacing the serpentine belt, to the tune of $243.00.
So here it is Tuesday....Scott came to bed at 7:30 (he works 5 pm to 5 am) and woke me up in the process, so I'm up and showered by 9, despite the fact that I don't have to be at work until 1 pm...
So, hot rollers pinned firmly in place (GAWD I hate thin hair) and feet tucked under my mama's afghan, I curl up to watch tv for a bit when...
wait for it...
kaBAM!
The part in the TV that we had a call in to be repaired since JANUARY finally blew up all together.
The $1,000 50-inch tv we just bought less than a YEAR ago, is now nothing more than a glorified paperweight.
The repair people are still giving me the "It is on back-order from Hitachi" line- NOR will they offer us a loaner tv (oh, we dont DO that)
Future Shop, where we BOUGHT the tv, can't replace the tv with out an order from Hitachi...
The guy from Hitachi gives me the "feed me all the information you have already repeated five times to everybody else, and I'll call Hitachi as soon as I get off the phone (my ass he will) and you should call back in about 3-4 days and I should have some news for you then.
And WHAT? I'm supposed to look at the wall and IMAGINE I'm watching tv in the interim??
They had better have the PART by then, or some poor schmuck in Canada is going to get a first hand lesson on what a southern woman with an open can of WHOOP ASS is capable off....
The warranty is up in June people, can you see where this is headed?
By LAW, if it has been longer than 30 days since the first repair call went in (duh...) Hitachi HAS to authorize Future Shop to give is a comparable replacement tv for theone that is gathering dust...
I am MISSING Paranormal State, and all my Law and Orders here, people.....
When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, His VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was "a generic white cardboard box filled with a Grayish-white powder." (That, at least, is the way the police report described it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale Police said, "that it looked similar to high Grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big Time."
Later, Nathan stood in front of the numerous TV cameras And pleaded with the burglars:"Please return the cremated Remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago."
The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local Drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's Doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained. Scotch taped to the box was this Note which said :
" Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie.
Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice Day."
COMMENTS
omg that was funny.
I believe thats actually an old urban legend. Its still funny as hell.
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cocaine.asp
How to say 'I love you' in 25 languages.....
English
I Love You
Spanish
Te Amo
French
Je T'aime
German
Lch Liebe Dich
Japanese
Ai Shite Imasu
Italian
It Amo
Chinese
Wo Ai In
Swedish
Jag Alskar
Alabama
Arkansas
Kansas
Oklahoma
Texas
North Carolina
South Carolina
Georgia
Tennessee
Idaho
Missouri
Mississippi
Montana
Louisiana
Virginia
West Virginia
Kentucky
And parts of Florida:
Nice Ass, Get in the truck
"Blessed are those who can give without remembering And receive
without
forgetting..."
COMMENTS
LOL
.....Troy sent me this in an email once. I thought it was OVERLY fitting for him. He's such a country boy.
Ah Shit I'm A Sue - LOL
I have finally finished conducting my study of the bizarre wedidng rituals of the pacific northwest canadians...
It has been a strange journey, but I have finally come to several unavoidable conclusions.....
Canadians LOVE weddings
"Footloose" WILL be played no matter WHO it is...
and ya'll sure do love to dance around all funny when you've been drinking, and that song comes on...lol
Oh
My
GAWD.....
I am in my second week of work at the country club, and just finished working my second wedding....
Imagine, if you will....
A Ukranian groom....
An East Indian bride.....
two HUNDRED of their closest friends and family...
alcohol *waving at the audience* cause this is where I come in...
The dj starts to play the first song of the night's festivities...
and suddenly, there are 100 people on the dance floor, waving their arms in the air to form the following letters....
Y.....
M......
C.........
A...........
ohmigawd.......
Canadians are HILARIOUS to watch....lol
sorta like getting yer best bud Billie Bob tanked up on everclear, and playing "Freebird"......
Ah, we are truly all the same under the skin...and the alcohol....
I LOVE being a bartender....
I first saw this man in "The Omega Man"
Will Smith got NOTHING on this man...
Charlton Heston dead at 84
Oscar-winning star of 'Ben-Hur' was known for heroic roles
The Associated Press
updated 9:18 p.m. PT, Sat., April. 5, 2008
LOS ANGELES - Charlton Heston, who won the 1959 best actor Oscar as the chariot-racing "Ben-Hur" and portrayed Moses, Michelangelo, El Cid and other heroic figures in movie epics of the '50s and '60s, has died. He was 84.
The actor died Saturday night at his home in Beverly Hills with his wife Lydia at his side, family spokesman Bill Powers said.
Powers declined to comment on the cause of death or provide further details.
Heston revealed in 2002 that he had symptoms consistent with Alzheimer's disease, saying, "I must reconcile courage and surrender in equal measure."
Face for 'another century'
With his large, muscular build, well-boned face and sonorous voice, Heston proved the ideal star during the period when Hollywood was filling movie screens with panoramas depicting the religious and historical past. "I have a face that belongs in another century," he often remarked.
The actor assumed the role of leader offscreen as well. He served as president of the Screen Actors Guild and chairman of the American Film Institute and marched in the civil rights movement of the 1950s. With age, he grew more conservative and campaigned for conservative candidates.
In June 1998, Heston was elected president of the National Rifle Association, for which he had posed for ads holding a rifle. He delivered a jab at then-President Bill Clinton, saying, "America doesn't trust you with our 21-year-old daughters, and we sure, Lord, don't trust you with our guns."
Heston stepped down as NRA president in April 2003, telling members his five years in office were "quite a ride. ... I loved every minute of it."
Later that year, Heston was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor. "The largeness of character that comes across the screen has also been seen throughout his life," President George W. Bush said at the time.
Feuding with Ed Asner
He engaged in a lengthy feud with liberal Ed Asner during the latter's tenure as president of the Screen Actors Guild. His latter-day activism almost overshadowed his achievements as an actor, which were considerable.
Heston lent his strong presence to some of the most acclaimed and successful films of the midcentury. "Ben-Hur" won 11 Academy Awards, tying it for the record with the more recent "Titanic" (1997) and "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003). Heston's other hits include: "The Ten Commandments," "El Cid," "55 Days at Peking," "Planet of the Apes" and "Earthquake."
He liked the cite the number of historical figures he had portrayed:
Andrew Jackson ("The President's Lady," "The Buccaneer"), Moses ("The Ten Commandments"), title role of "El Cid," John the Baptist ("The Greatest Story Ever Told"), Michelangelo ("The Agony and the Ecstasy"), General Gordon ("Khartoum"), Marc Antony ("Julius Caesar," "Antony and Cleopatra"), Cardinal Richelieu ("The Three Musketeers"), Henry VIII ("The Prince and the Pauper").
Heston made his movie debut in the 1940s in two independent films by a college classmate, David Bradley, who later became a noted film archivist. He had the title role in "Peer Gynt" in 1942 and was Marc Antony in Bradley's 1949 version of "Julius Caesar," for which Heston was paid $50 a week.
Film producer Hal B. Wallis ("Casablanca") spotted Heston in a 1950 television production of "Wuthering Heights" and offered him a contract. When his wife reminded him that they had decided to pursue theater and television, he replied, "Well, maybe just for one film to see what it's like."
Heston earned star billing from his first Hollywood movie, "Dark City," a 1950 film noir. Cecil B. DeMille next cast him as the circus manager in the all-star "The Greatest Show On Earth," named by the Motion Picture Academy as the best picture of 1952.
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23975503/
COMMENTS
O.O I grew up loving Ben Hur. Lost a lot of respect for him after the "cold dead fingers" speech but still one of my favourite actors :-(
COMMENTS
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sahahria
02:19 Apr 26 2008
HAHAHAHA!
Khayman
05:42 Apr 26 2008
LMFAO!!!!
GOOD FOR HIM!! HAHAHAHAHA!!
Vampirewitch39
16:05 Apr 26 2008
LOL Poor puppy.. did the little kitty scare you?
:) Cute!!
RedQueen
19:45 Apr 26 2008
aight...all ya'll can kiss my ass....especially you, rat...lol
masterduelist
21:10 Apr 28 2008
thats funny