My Awakening as a Vampire11:28 Aug 07 2017
Times Read: 274
I was always depressed, sad, angry, and tired threw school and even now. I'd be so tired and get migraines often. Food would often make me sick nothing tasted good. The doctors always said nothing was wrong with me. They put me on depression meds, sleep meds, and never would give me anything for the pain in head. Nothing work. It always seemed to make things worse. One doctor even put me on birth control even though I was never sexually active. That shit made everything even worse. I vomitted three times a day and never could eat more than a bite.
Let's skip back some, I first felt a desire for blood when I was in middle school. I'd cut my finger and sucked it until it didn't bleed anymore. I felt so much better after. I could always sense people emotions and even draw on them subconsciously. It's still hard for me to block bad energy but I can do it it I concentrate. I never knew what all this was. I thought at one point maybe I'm a vampire but that thought quickly got pushed down and everything I was feeling got pushed down. Even though my cravings would make me see people like nice juicy steaks I press it down and I stat depressed, sad, tired, hurting everywhere, and very bad mood swings. I brushed it off.
In high school I was always the kid in the room everyone forgot was there. I was rarely picked on but when I was I ignored it as I didn't want there bad energy and I didn't feel like fooling with their stupidity. Vampires are susposed to be good at hiding. I was good at it. There was often times when the kids would play catching games I never participated but whenever the ball came toward I'd have fast reflexes. I even caught a cup one day and didn't spill a bit of coffee off the teachers desk. I never seen such shock expressions. I always had a lot of strength. I can whip my 250 lb brother. I can carry a couple hundred pounds . My grandmother use to have me carry all of her garden food up the hill to her house. She always grew a garden bigger than a football field. Ypu carry her sacks, buckets , and crates of food all day you'll have a good body.i was way step her then most females.
I mentioned the eating of hearts, blood and stuff in another journal I think. I always loved the stuff especially any food my family made with the pigs blood. The best stuff was their puddings. They would take fresh blood from the pig, mix it with sage, salt, pepper, cornmeal, and flour the. Let it sit in the fridge. After they cut the pig open and butcher's it they'd take the fatty tissue around the organs cut it up and throw it in the mix. Then that's bake it. That stuff was amazing! My friend tried it once but once she food out what it was she threw it up. -_- waste of good food. I was recently energized in those days.
Anyway, then in college all the feelings associated with being a vampire multiples. Combined with the stress of asshole classmates I was lucky I didn't commit suicide from the stress. I had no friends. I still don't have any except some of you all. The people on VR are supportive and nice. Better than the so called normals. I never was able to get blood from anybody nor did I ask. Why would I when I was surrounding by people who hated me. The energy in the dorms was often bad and sick feeling. People would party and other would get pick on. There was this one girl who was obsessed with one of the Queen Elizabeths. She was a nice girl. Very modest. The People even made her hate me when I did nothing.
Sighs*
My feelings of extreme anger, sadness, agitatation, thirst, hunger that's never satisfied no matter what you eat. When a wolves finds its prey they bare their teeth at it, humans were something I wanted to always eat. I just though I had a blood fetish. And that the emotions were from me liking both men and women, but it wasn't. Then later after college I learned I could feel better with sexual energy. Bad idea for a vampire to do this and not know they are one. I mean if any one can do it. I tend to attract to much attention and not meaning to. I dress up real nice for work and I had these teddy bear suckers. Red cinnamon suckers. I was munching on one between my lips then I tilted my head looked at this guy with the sucker in my teeth and smiled. The poor guy tripped and busted his nose. I honestly didn't even mean to do it I just looked over at him. Bad me right? There's more incidents of me bit meaning to attract.
And now here I am. Still depressed, sudden bouts of anger, desire for biting people, desire for blood, and other carnal things. When I'm around people I can make people feel good or bad if I concentrate. And in crowds everyone looks tasty when I'm hungry. Never go to the store when your hungry for food not usually eaten. But now that I've found out that I guess I'm a hybrid vampire. I can't see auras but I can feel things from people. I have guys feelings.
Oh the rain yes. There a old tails that rain makes vampires sluggish and they can't cross running water. Well u can pass water but rain makes me so sleepy. I'm sluggish and I can't never get up until the rain stops. Usually the rain makes me feel good until I start going into a vamp session or rage. I can get energy from my pets. A little anyway. And sometimes I grab for energy automatically. Makes for an awful day when you get a taste of bad energy. Well that's about it. It's be better in grammar if i weren't tired.
Sorry if it's confusing.
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