I hope those words I said to you
Flow through your veins like poison
I want you to wake up everyday
And think about what you are missing.
Take a look at your life.
Isn't it exactly as I predicted it would be (Without me)
You were going to be great
With a life better than you can imagine.
But now you can't have that
And I'm not there to believe in you (Noone else ever did)
So now I wonder
Just what you plan on doing
With what's left of your so called life
Cause Baby I'm no longer there.
I had to leave (knowing you wouldn't care enough to stop me)
There was nothing left here for me.
You were the only reason I had for coming back.
You were my home.
But sometimes things just weren't meant to be
I always had a hard time letting go of you
And everything we've been through.
Fearing it would be my biggest regret.
I replay those memorys in my head every day.
But I can't do this anymore.
It just too confusing and we let it get way out of hand.
I feel shame just looking at you
So everytime I see you I'm running in the other direction
Praying that you couldn't see the pain in my eyes.
I don't want to run anymore...
Why can't I just let him go?
"We've been through too much together"
"The worst is behind us now"
These things he said keep repeating in my head.
I can't believe I thought them to be true.
I should have known better.
I should have expected this from you.
He would say everything he could to make me stop crying.
But he never meant any of those words.
He always stood up for everything he believed in.
Expect for me.
"Nothing can keep us apart anymore"
Nothing but you, of course.
Now days, I cry a million tears knowing you don't care at all.
But when you're hurt, I'm right there with you.
It's always been about you Love. Never me.
So I'm not coming home to you again.
Even if you did want me there,
You would never admit it.
Especially not in front of them.
You would rather die than stand up to everyone else.
So I can't believe in you anymore.
You're too busy living in a world that I don't know.
Just keep pretending kid.
Cause you can fool everyone but me.
I remember wanting to be your everything.....
I'm sorry for all those things I said.
I never meant for my words to hurt you.
All I wanted was to make things better.
But I can't seem to stop messing everything up.
And lately, I know I've been getting worse.
I used to turn to you for help.
For a shoulder to lean on.
But now I know I can't do that.
I want to fix it but I don't know how.
I'm sorry for everytime I took my anger out on you,
For everytime I used my words to cut you down a size.
You were always there for me and I refused to acknowledge that sometimes.
I hate that I would never admit I needed you.
Maybe things would be different now.
I guess you really do never realize what you have until it's gone.
I need to grow up now but I'm not sure I can.
It's so hard to knowing I will go through this alone.
The flames surround me now,
I feel the heat from every direction.
Feeling I'm becoming something different,
As my body slowly turns to ashes.
Soon I'll scattter the earth,
Become a part of it.
I'm calling out to you,
Reaching in your direction.
Won't you take my hand?
And save me from this hell.
Breathe the life back into me.
But your afraid to share my fate
I'm watching you now child,
Waiting.
You'll be here soon, I can feel it.
It's heartbreaking how much things have changed.
I remember always having somewhere to turn.
But now I'm not so sure.
I stare at your number in my phone
Wanting so badly to hit the send button.
But I just feel so scared.
Who can I turn to when I feel like dying?
I walk around in the pouring rain
Just waiting for the answer.
Time's running out
I can't handle this anymore
I've already lost everything that ever mattered.
I really thought you would make it better this time around
But now you just don't care
You watch me cry,
And roll your eyes.
Whenever things are going good
I know to hold my breath and wait
Hold back the tears
So you don't have to pretend to care anymore.
Silently so I don't wake you,
I cry my self to sleep everynight.
I want to believe everything you say
But I've figured you out by now
I want to put back up the wall that kept you from hurting me the first time around
But then I think about how good it was when I finally took it down
How can I go back to shuting you out?
When all I want to do is love you.
I just keep on wishing that you still loved me back.
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