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The pages of the torn book and chapter in my life keep turning to ash. Dust to Dust. Drifting away. Nothing Left. Shutting up and leaving behind not a single clue as to what once was in my heart. The feelings are long gone. The memories a distant treasure. My heart long broken. And my life long ago torn. My soul ripped from my body and my breath taken by those who hurt me the most.





Though one memory of the past still stands. Still haunts the life I live now. Can I save it? Who knows. They say you never know what you have until it's gone. Been quite some time now and yet I know where my heart resides tho that person will and may never know. I tried to move on thinking that my chance was long ago lost and forgotten. But, maybe I am wrong. I dunno where it leads or may go. Should I risk all I have or jus let it go?

This time you broke me down..you tore me apart and left me all alone..you spoke to me of paradise in shangri-la..I gave into all your lies..I looked at things in a different view..I changed my ways and all my life..I changed for you and you broke my heart..you said good-bye as you walked away..you said my illness was all my fault..still i don't know why..you kept taking..I kept giving..I refuse to be sad..to let it get to me..to let your words beat me down..next time i will know how to act..now this is me saying my last words..and good bye

Cold, Severd, and darkened from deep within. I can feel death draining my veins. Sucking the life I have left. My pulse weakened. My veins empty. My life gone away. Down the twisting and turning, tunneling drain. Forever gone. Always Lost. The Vengeful Severence of what is left of my self pity. Why? I scream silently inside. The involuntary tears stream like a beautiful red river, staining the floor upon which I stand. How much must I endure? All the shattering memories and the conpulsive pain come riveting back to me. I stand alone in the wide open gates of Hell...Welcoming it all with limbs of numbnezz. With a broken heart and tears of stained blood where tears once were known. I slowly give in and let it all consume the person I once was long ago.

I am easily gone and hurt to the center of my human flesh. Numbnezz takes over the pain that used to accompany my soul. Severed like the skeleton of my ancestors long ago. My words a whisper to the vengeful souls of life. A painful world of needles we live in and yet I am stuck standing like a statue of cold stone all alone in the wide open. Like a simple minded target for easy prey. No one cares enough to reach out and save me. No one even glances as they pass by. I rott in this prison of my making with each hurtful memory I continue to pile on the bricks of the invisible wall around me. Many try to break through but none are able to succeed. My heart is one of stone and coldnezz. My eyes dark and gray. My mind distant and unknown. And my soul lost to the demon far below. A bitch some call me, others venge upon the blood of those I shed. I have no breath for it was sucked clean out of me by death himself. Can I be saved? Do I still have a chance? I fear not my friends, for we are all doomed to live a life of shame.

Locked away in a cage..My rage has got the best of me..Time finds a way each day..Leaving less and less of me behind..This fight must be won..Inside my mind..Uptight and Confined..Blinded by the light..Taking its toll on my system..Time ticks away..These last few moments..Is there anything left unsaid..I'm on a quest..Looking for safety and sanity..Searching for a piece of mind.

I've buried myself with infilictions of pain..This downward spiral..Where do I begin..I've come unto crossroads..No way seems right to me..My past haunts me every night..This constalation is a manipulation..Of all the pain and fear I possess..It's buried so deep within..My head spinning..I'm running rampidly..But there is no escape..In the prison of my own making..This is me..And this is MY NIGHTMARE.

I stand and I sit and I think~Think of how I can help myself~Should I cut to ease the pain~To understnad the confusion~Should I take the razor blade~And slice it over my wrist?~So I stop and look around at my surroundings~All soaked in deep red, rich blood~I glance downward~And scrape it across my wrist quickly~once~twice~again and again~The memories~The past fading~I begin to bleed~To slowly feel free~No more, No more I chant silently~I fall down on my knees~Watching my blood flow like a beautiful river~I begin to cry~The involuntary tears streaming down my face~Down my arm the blood flows staining the floor I stand upon~These involuntary tears simply fall like rain drops from the sky~Splashing down to my veins~Feeling oozy~fatigued~I leave the world in vein~Remembering to cut one last time~deeper the scar of life~slipping into an eternal abyss and funeral forever~