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"Grief is like the ocean,

It comes on waves ebbing and flowing.

Sometimes the water is calm,

And sometimes it is overwhelming.

All we can do is learn to swim."

~Vicki Harrison

I will be working with children this semester at the Children's Bereavement Center of South Texas (CBCST). I will be facilitating groups on Sundays. I am very excited about this opportunity. Today was training day. I was very busy to say the least. We not only went over the things expected of us as counselors but we went over our own grief. For those who do not know, the CBCST is a center that offers FREE counseling to the children and their family members who are going through grief due to a loss of a loved one.



In high school, my best friend was shot and killed by her ex boyfriend. She died in my arms. RIP Anita Russel.

In 2003 I lost my Nana to cancer. RIP Gloria Haldeman

In 2007 I lost a son to a motorcycle accident. RIP Nathaniel Jimenez

In 2015 I lost my God mother who was more like a mother to me to health issues and I lost my Grandpa Kern to diabetes and other health issues. RIP Sheryl Barbier and Papa Kern



What I learned today is that grief never ends and that is ok.



"Grief is the most brutal form of love." ~ Patricia McNaught



I will always love and miss the ones that I have lost. But the truth is, they really are not lost. I carry them with me in my heart. And the things I have learned from them I will teach to my children so that they can live on. I will have good days and bad days. I am entitled that. I can grieve how ever I need to. Grief is never-ending. Its all about how you go about it. I will laugh, I will scream, I will cry, and I will want to fight. But that's ok. I will have triggers years from now that will remind me of one of my loved ones and I will break down. That is ok too. I am not ashamed to be that emotional wreck; I will only grow stronger.



The day that I stop feeling all of those emotions is the day I will have forgotten who they are to me.



So yes, I will be protective of my family and friends. Yes, I will be angry when I see cars and trucks being reckless around motorcyclists. Yes, I will be mad with doctors when they don't take the time with patients and really listen to what is being said. Yes I will cry when it rains and the butterfly leaves its flower. Yes I will scream in my car when that certain song comes on. But thats all ok.



I am ok.

COMMENTS

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Wrath1972
15:17 Jan 26 2016

That is a very powerful entry. I will remember it...

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LoveChilde
16:56 Feb 08 2016

Reading this journal was like taking a breath of fresh air. This was beautifully done... I'm so proud of you girl.. You are going to do wonderful things for these children. You know what it's like to lose a loved one and move on. I think you are the best person for the job. God Bless you girl!

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StrangeWings
19:03 Feb 25 2016

Wow, great food for thought and a wonderful perspective on dealing with grief. A very noble undertaking as well - the world is a much better place with people like you in it!

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SoftAngelicaWings
06:38 Jun 30 2016

very good

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