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If you could see me now, I think you'd be ashamed. Lying here, hair greasy and unbrushed and pulled back in a loose pony tail, skin a mess, in need of a shower, living in pyjamas... And I've pretty much stopped eating. Eating means having to be around people I don't want to see so some toast in the early hours of the morning has to suffice. I don't want to eat anyway.



I want to be better for you but right now I can't manage it. I don't go out. I barely even leave my room. Sometimes I think about calling, just to hear your voice. Things seem vitally important but somehow manage to be completely unimportant at the same time. I just don't have the energy to do anything right now. I don't want to be here any more.



I miss you.



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