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I have to admit, I have not been a good guy.



I have a lot of shitty habits I have been having to break, and if I don't, I know I won't keep the woman I love and.. well, worship. I have not always been honest and I have certainly not been fair.



All of that is changing.. hopefully, not too late.



I need to do a better job of providing for my family, and I need to work harder at being more involved in my daughter's care. Just because her mother is practically superhuman at what she does, doesn't mean she IS actually superhuman. She gets tired, like anyone else. Unlike most people though, Mel never stops. She doesn't get irritable with the baby, she never ever "falls down on the job", and it doesn't matter what job it is.



I need to be more like her.



Unlike how I used to be, this isn't me feeling sorry for myself. It's me, acknowledging out loud, that I can and will be a better father and partner. I'm tired of being a lazy fuckup as a profession.. just because a lot of guys are doing it and its not unusual behavior for guys my age, doesn't mean I need to be doing it.