The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I went again to the cemetery, it hurts. First, I brought some flowers, sat on the bank located in front of the cathedral where we used to sit. I summoned some memories, yet again it hurts, each time more deeply. You went away, and I’m still here, bringing flowers to someone who is not even dead (yet). So unfair, so painful, so much tears and again I realize I am still there alive. Somehow, I believe I would trade places, just to be sure you do not cry, again. Suddenly, I thought that it would not make a difference because I am still here, living and reliving this memory and again you just go away. I was there, watching the graves, one by one but I only desired my name to be written in all of them like a pleasant nightmare. However, that would hurt you and I do not dare to make you cry, again.



The cemetery turned gray, and it was painful to breathe, some drops fell down of the sky. Wonderful to watch! They fell from a safe place up above just to fall to the floor and disintegrate. It seemed painful, you can imagine pieces of your heart falling from even higher than the sky and disintegrate when it reaches the floor same as the drops of rain. It is a process that is repeated again for eternity. But why such a cruel thing happens to the raindrops? They fall to give life to the earth and living things, they fall to make the beautiful flower more beautiful and again, the flower withers and die. Why that cruel fate awaits to the beautiful flower? Another beautiful flower will grow, stronger and prettier than the one before. I believe, or maybe I just wanted to believe that the same thing occurs to us, when our hearts fall from high, it may hurt, but it will give space to wonderful things to grow from below, the solid floor unlike the unreliable sky. Sometimes whatever grows, seem to wither or die, but something else always grow stronger feeding from whatever that was before.



I went to the cemetery, again it hurts. However, I learned or I wanted to believe that I discovered the cure for you and me to wake up from what I thought we were sleeping, agonizing. Still, I know you will leave, and though I deeply wish even more than you would ever in your life believe, that you prove me wrong and choose to stay, but again I know I will not change a thing because I never been able to. Bitter but again bitter I swallow it, as that is the way real remedies are, never sweet.

I looked at my feet; the nails and skin were dirty as if I walked barefooted a whole country filled with dust. I drove my hands through my wavy hair and discovered that it was tangled, and when I accidentally touched my skin I noticed that I was naked. Even worse, my lips felt like burning and I had a metal taste in my throat that asked for water.



In the search of something to drink I observed that behind me were only ashes left of a city that was slowly burning in flames. In that instant I turned around putting my hands covering my face and I felt my skin touching this time a cold piece of stone that when I looked carefully I discovered was a huge door.



Immediately I proceeded to push it, it was then when I found a beautiful paradise of little colors; it looked as a cemetery and smelled like ginger. I walked through purple lilies that adorned the garden until I saw a fountain where apparently the smell was coming. Instantly I could see that sitting next to it was a man caressing the liquid like an artist with his brush, drawing spirals with a finger.



I started looking at his voluminous hair, long and dark, his pale skin with the look of a dead man, his big sad gray eyes and his body tall and skinny with a wide back. Suddenly, I remembered that I was naked, and therefore; all the insecurities I had about my body. It was then, when I understood that I was dressed by the freedom of my undressed skin.



The man of the fountain gave me his hand and without knowing what to do y gave him mine, and instantly felt he was cold as death. Ironically a heat invaded me from the center of my belly and exploded through the rest of my body. The bitterness and innocent evilness that possessed him went through my whole body like needles stitching a new dress over my skin. When the time passed I could see that around me was raining blood, dark and thick and the fountain started to gain life. Then, the man took me inside the fountain, only submerging my feet, while the blood falling from the skies started to damp my hair and bathed most of my body. He hugged me, he did not let go of me, his nails were penetrating my flesh and his lips were filling his desires with me, and between all the pains I felt pleasure and in that pleasure I knew love.