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2 entries this month
Afraid
02:54 Dec 02 2005
Times Read: 724
I'm afraid to love again
and I'm afraid of loving you.
I'm afraid to explain
I'm afraid of feeling the same pain
I'd been numb for so long and felt nothing.
I pushed everything away from me.
My heart was cold as ice and as black as the empty eyes of the great white shark.
You slowly thawed the dead away.
So many emotions poured in like a giant ocean wave!
Too many to comprehend and sort out!
I'm afraid of denial
and afraid of betrayal
I'm afraid of these feelings I feel for you
I'm afraid of being tossed away again
I'm afraid to take the chance...
I'm afraid you won't love me
But I'm am strong I will not bend or break!
Nothing will hold me back from facing my fears
I can never know until suck it up and try!
I will find out!
Cause I'm afraid of never knowing...
Love again?
02:30 Dec 02 2005
Times Read: 727
Love is a curse cast upon you
Something you can never escape
no matter how far you run
It consumes you
Love makes a place inside of your world
and creates and earthquake!
Causing every stable thing you had to collapse and fall
Love is a dirty little liar spreading rumors
to make itself seem so wonderful
But when I fell in love I realize I misunderstood.
How much pain you go throught just to be with that someone
Someone who was hiding all along.
He disguised himself and made as if his feelings were true
But painfully I discovered that no Lili he NEVER loved you!
Love is like nature that can never be controlled
So untamed, so wild, and sometimes devestating
But when I think I've fallen out of it...
I started to feel it again!
I must decide if I can open myself up again.
If I can expose myself
If I can find it within my to try and love once more...
My heart screams yes, my mind protests no!
But it's already too late
My heart's been taken, and now I have no choice
but to move forward and to see
If this time around love will work out for me...
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