The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

well, the other details, i'm going to be majoring in psychology, and i'm what u would call single. i am also however, not what u'd call desperate. shit happens, i love letting in 9 times outta 10. i'm very shallow. ok, well no i'm not, but i'm picky. i'm very quixotic, in everything in life, especially relationships, and being attracted to girls....... this is not something i'm bragging about, i have more or less told anyone who reads this my personal kryptonite. i like girls who have somethin gunique about them, that can hold my attention. i'm loyal to a fault, i've never cheated on anyone in any relationship ever. i've been in enough relationships for that to be surprising as well, not bragging about this either, when i say loyal TO A FAULT, i mean i do kno that it is a fault most of the time in this fucked up world we live in. but thats a rant for another day. check out my friend innocentprncss on here, her journals are better than mine. her journals are better than anyones, as far as i kno.



i am a musician, an intelectual, and a fool. this is the internet.



sorry, i enjoy ranting so much that i cant stop. oh, my other weaknesses in life are redheads(i really dont kno y), girls that are smart/into good music/ are good musicians(its not common around here), and anyone who i feel i can relate to...... shits dangerous, letting ppl kno u. i barely kno me, so if i want to let u kno me, feel privileged.



i have opinions....dont we all. i hate. i hate ppl and things. heres a list:

courtney love(if u really want i can tell you y i hate the murderous whore)

racism(one of my best friends growing up, and i guess still, aloth i havnt seen 'em in a few weeks, is black. racism doesnt sit well with me. i use racist words all the damn time, like honkey. why? because i can, and i'm too white to not kno us honkeys are funny ppl)

sexism(wtf? we've come too far as a race for shit like racism & sexism to be anything more than sarcastic murmurs and punchlines........ tis shit needs to not be real. oh, and girls, come on, we need more of you in the music world who have the balls, and i DO mean that FIGURATIVELY, to be on the stage playin with the boys)

something i hate more than almost anything is ppl who use and manipulate ppl. the reason for this is kind of complicated. i realized some time ago that i could rather easily manipulate those ppl around me. i could get what i wanted when i wanted it through being a manipulative bastard. i've been more or less called a manipulative bastard by a state magistrate, altho he didnt say bastard, i dont remember where those papers are or i'd copy his exact words. anyway, i realized that with my mental capabilities came this wat i thought of as a 'power' to manipulate those around me. but, what kind of peice of shit manipulates ppl for thier own gain, or @ all for that matter? manipulating ppl is no power, boys and girls, in fact, the ability to do so is a curse, and its one you desserve damned for @ verying degrees if you dont have the moral fiber to not manipulate ppl. i did this years ago, and have attoned for it. when i see ppl who continue doing this into adulthood, i want to kill them. end of story. and i happen to be far beyond capable of it, theres a certain thing in all our heads that controls the actual ability to pull the trigger and end someones life, and i've seen ppl tear themselves up thinking about what lines would need crossed for them to do so. but pppl who are what i knew i wouldnt let myself become are not above me ruining. i'm not going to go into detail as to what that means.

i just had to copy and paste this in here again to refresh the page, i hate this site timing out when i dont expect it to.

moving on. i've seen and done shit that most ppl my age have not. i've been through enough shit to call myself, very spitefully call myself, an emotional masicist. i have on a number of occasions, decided beyond a shadow of a doubt that i was about to die. never happened, if it didm wouldnt it be impressive that i have this page? ok,back to being serious tho, i type in a mix of actual english and im slang, because i'm f'n lazy. everyone feels like shit sometimes, and when i was younger it got to me alot. i still have traces of the words 'fuck you' on my torso from scratching it there in a tedious manor with a pointed implement my sophomore year of high school. i did all that foolish pain relief thru more pain shit when i was younger. cut @ my arms, never to bleed to death, not even for attention, i'd cover it up to avoid attention, i just did it to do it. i'd tried killing myself a few times, but always either decided against it in the process, or was stopped by other ppl....... i have had neck problems for about 2 years, like not uber serious medically, just a constant cramped/strained feeling. my mom thinks its arthritis in my neck and it coulda been from all the attempts of strangling myself. shes an RN, so she may be right, @ any rate, i cant headbang like i used to. holy shit, i've said way too much. read me. or try to read me. talk to me if u;d like, theres really no way to figure me out in whole, but u r all more than welcome to try.