Super Hero.
05:29 Oct 05 2008
Times Read: 828
Last week it was Brooks that I couldn't stop thinking about, and now it's Shane. Oh, and I came to the conclusion I'm a bad girlfriend, in the view that I want to be single, but my boy spent forty dollars on a necklace for me.
So I met this guy named Shane a couple weeks ago. My boy Renne has a friend named Josh, and Josh has a friend named Shane. Well I was hanging with Renne one night, and we met up with Josh and Shane, and well, I stayed out till 2 in the morning with those fools.
And I thought Shane was cool, so I got his number. Pretty much every day after that, we have talked everyday.
"Is it bad that I'm closer to Shane then my own boyfriend?" I asked Bonnie. "...Yeah." "I know."
But see the thing is, Shane gets me. Like me and him have talked about the most like... secretive things. Not like bad really, just stuff that we think about. Like he ever told me that if a guy I don't like touches me in anyway I don't want, he will whoop his ass. Lol. So I called him my Super Hero. Hence, the title is Super Hero.
But anyway, last night was the first time we hung out since we became so close. But before I tell you about all that, I have to write about before I got home and met up with him.
However it happened, somehow Renne kinda like... invited himself to hang out with Shane and me. Now see, I wouldn't mind if he came along to anywhere else really, cuz you know... he's my boyfriend. I want him there. But the thing is, Shane and I are so close, that I just wanted to be alone with him. To just... talk. Nothing else, just chill. Our relationship is just so epic; we don't even have to be doing anything. Like I asked him where he wanted to hang. He said "Wherever, just as long as I'm chillin' with you!" It's not even in the romantic, flirty way, just the 'I miss you so much, I don't care at all' kind of way. (I really hope that makes sense) But anyway, I was waiting to hang out with Shane for like, a week, and got all excited whenever my upcoming weekend came up in conversation. And the plans were final. It didn't matter where we were, just as long as we were gonna chill. We planned it just to be me and him, but somehow Josh invited himself too. So, it was gonna turn out to be Josh, Renne, Shane, and me. I didn't want that. I hung out with Renne the day before, and it's just... I didn't have much to say. Neither of us did. But I'll write about that in a different Journal. But when Renne and I were walking to get the bus (which we missed btw,) I told him what I felt.
"So what are we going to be doing when we hang out with Shane?" I WANTED TO FUCKING FREAK OUT. HE JUST INVITED HIMSELF LIKE SOMEONE INVITED THEMSELVES RIGHT INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE THEY DON'T KNOW.
"Uhh... Well, Me and Shane just kinda... Wanted to... Hang by ourselves. If that's okay. I'm sorry!!!" I felt so horrible. But I didn't want my day- the day I have been waiting for since like last Friday- to be not ruined, but not as good as it could have been. You know?
"Oh... okay. Well I guess whatever makes you happy." Ugh. I hate when guys pull that line. Seriously, it does NOT make things better. But then he said;
"Just don't do anything stupid."
(By now we missed our bus and was walking back to the school, I asked Bonnie is she could give me a ride home)
".........Like what?" I was ready to like, just stop talking so I wouldn't say something that I would regret.
"Like kiss or make out with him or something." Man, I felt the trust we have in the relationship. You know? I really wanted to say 'what the hell?' out loud, but I didn't.
"Oh yeah. Lemme tell ya. I won't be a virgin after tonight." So instead of getting really mad, I sufficed with a sarcastic comment.
I think that was like the first time Renne actually made me REALLY mad. And I hate saying that. I REALLY do. But.... it has to be said.
Anyway, I went over to Bonnie's for like 10 minutes, and then her brother, Michael took me home. (Weirdly enough, I have 2 classes with Michael, and none with Bonnie.) So I'm home. Now all I had to do was meet up with Shane at the mall. =] I felt bad for having such mad thoughts about Renne, but, I didn't want that to like... ruin my day.
So after maybe... a half hour or so, I meet up with Shane. I could describe him, but I don't feel like it. So we meet up in Hot Topic, and I had to meet his mom, which I thought was pretty funny. His mom is so short! Like not even 5 feet, I swear!!! She's so cute! lol. And she was pretty nice too. So we met up, and just went back to my house, which was just across the street.
He brought his guitar too, cuz he was going to play his song he made for me. No, he really didn't make a song for me, but just one day while we were texting, we got on the subject of my poetry, and I sent him "Blind". He absolutely loved it, although I told him that was one that only took 55 minutes to write. lol. And so, he's pretty much just putting a beat to my lyrics. =] I have wanted one of my poems to become a song in sooo long. But I forgot about it, knowing it would never happen. But I was wrong I guess lol.
But then he laid on my bed, and with like everyone I know, once they get on my bed, they like, never get off. So, we just popped a CD in the stereo, and... chilled. We really didn't sit close. I didn't know how close I could get to him before he got freaked out, you know?
A little after we got there and started talking, Randi called me asking if we wanted to hang out. And so long story short, we were going to the Homecoming game at my high school. So we got up, and walked over to the 7-11 to meet up with Randi, and then we waited for Kylee to show up, because her mom was giving us a ride the rest of the way there! Total score right? Considering the walk there was about a half hour. lol. So we got there, and I was like "Okay, I need to find my bitches." lol. Yeah, it's kinda mean to call my friend bitches, but it's really nothing compared to what we --jokingly-- call each other. lol! And so we met up with them, and Maddie's new boyfriend, Jordan. Who is Shanika's cousin! It's so cute!! So we had about... half the group. That consisted of Maddie, Lanie, Jordan, Addi, Shani, Randi, Kylee, and of course, Shane and me. I had fun introducing Shane to everyone. He doesn't remember anyone's name. haha!
So we go and sit on the bleachers, and then I get a call from Anna! She was wondering where we were, and after fighting about it, I told her to just find me. Anyway, after about 10 minutes, they came up to the bleachers, and there was the rest of the group. Bonnie, Alex, Anna, Joe (Her new boyfriend!!!!), Kyle, and Nic. So, that turns out to be a dozen people, and I think it kind of overwhelmed Shane. I felt bad, but he was cool with Randi, so he had like two people to talk to. And my friend are just cool anyway, so he wasn't like... scared or anything. I hope.
So we PARTIED. I mean I was talking and laughing and catching up with everyone! I was talking to Joe, and getting to know him a bit. Talking to Shani, joking around with her. And I don't know what came over me, but I went over and hugged Addi. It doesn't seem weird, but if I ever write about him, it would make sense, lol. I was just... in the best mood! But then, I was kinda sad. I wanted Renne there. Talk about major mood swing right? I mean... earlier, I just wanted it to be me and Shane, but then hanging out with everyone sounded like fun. So we went and did that. And I knew we were gonna have time after that to hang out. And so Randi called Renne, I did, Shane did. He wasn't answering or replying. So then Alex tells me that his phone died. I was like "duh". lol. (But also what is weirding me out is that for the rest of the night he didn't text me, and all day today he hasn't texted me.) But it was okay, my mind was like, everywhere else. When I'm with my friends, I forget about the drama.
Half way through the game, some of us got bored. So we just left. Bonnie and Alex and Kyle and Nic went somewhere, the rest of them stayed, and Shane, Randi, and me went to Coldstone's where we could see Randi's boyfriend, Bolton. And we got ice cream, and then left. Then we walked over to Best Buy, so that Shane and Randi could go against each other on Guitar Hero. But the wire connecting the guitar was lagging and all that, so we just left. And it was about 10, so Shane and I just went to my house, cuz Randi was going back home to take a nap before she goes on her Midnight Date with Bolton so some sushi place. lol.
So back to my house we were. Shane called his mom to ask when he had to go home. She said 1. I was like HELL YEAH. And so I told my dad, and I said "You let Minh and Brian sleepover! Him staying till 1 is nothing!" "Is he your boyfriend?" "No, just my friend." "Are you guys gonna do ‘it‘?" "Don't have any condoms." lol. I love my dad.
So we were walking to my front door, but outside was just so pretty and calm and like... it just sounded good to sit outside on our swing. So Shane and I were just sitting there, talking about Josh and Sydie's situation (Long story.)
But then I looked over at my garage door, and I see a shadow walk by it. And this was not me seeing things. He walked past, and I could see his shadow from the street light overhead. But I couldn't see who it was in the street.
"Shh! Look over at my garage door. Someone just walked by, but I can't see who it is over in the street." So I was freaking out, bad.
"Don't worry about it. Your dogs would be barking if they thought it was a threat." By the time he said that, I was like huddled next to him, ready to scream, but too scared to make noise. You know?
"Yeah, whatever, time to go inside." So I opened the door, whistled for my dogs to come inside, and we went back to my room.
Then we got into some discussion about... whatever we talked about. We talked about so much I don't think I could recap all of it. lol. And so I got really into the conversation, and I just kinda rolled over, and was like right next to him. When we kinda stopped talking for a moment (not like an awkward moment, it's just that I forgot what I was talking about in mid-sentence so I had to think about what I was talking about), and then I thought to myself "Whoah, how did I get over here?? LOL" Yes, I think lol to myself a lot. But I didn't move, like I said earlier, once you get on my waterbed, it's kinda hard to move. So, I got comfy. I just kinda laid on his arm. I made sure he didn't mind, cuz for some odd reason, I didn't want to weird him out, although he was pretty used to me.
“Do you care that I’m laying on your arm?”
“Not really. But Renne might.”
“Yeah… But… Oh I don’t want to talk about him.”
“Why not?” I could tell he was trying to get it out of me.
“It doesn’t matter.” So we went on talking about some other thing.
Before I knew it, it was 11. Then 12. We talked. And talked. And talked. And somehow, my neck really started to hurt from how I was laying, so… I put my head on his lap. Doesn’t that sound so whore-ish? But at the time, I was just to wrapped up in thinking about Shane, I just kind of… Didn’t care at all. And I made sure I wasn’t making him uncomfortable. I asked him, and told him that if he was uncomfortable, that he just has to say something, and I would move. And I wasn’t flirty or anything. I just wanted to get comfy. And all the pillows fell off the side of my bed.
I loved it. I mean like it wasn’t like we were talking about the ways of the universe or anything, just stuff about… whatever. I asked him what he thought of my friends that he met earlier that day. And what he said surprised me. “Out of all of them… I think you are the most good-looking one.” That made me insanely happy. “Really? You mean that?” “Yeah, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” And that’s true. “No one has ever said that to me. Usually people think that Bonnie- the one with the red hair- is really hot. Or Maddie, the one with the new boyfriend? Yeah, a lot of people think they are hot.” “Well they are cute. Pretty much all of your friends are. But you are the most.” I kinda just laid there. Just soaking that in. That never happens, so I had to enjoy it. Lol. “Well you are pretty cute yourself.” He smiled. “No one has ever really said that to me. Thanks. That means a lot.” “Anytime buddy!” Just that simple. And then we just went on some other topic. I think I will remember that for while.
Another conversation was very interesting. It really made me think. We were just kinda laying there, and then I turn my head towards him, so that I made eye contact. I wanted to see how he reacted to what I was about to ask. “…What do you like in a girl?” He was looking around my room but when I asked him that, he look straight at me and smiled. “I like it when they ask me that. Especially when I just meet them, ‘cause then I could say something like “oh I like girls with glasses, brown eyes, and brown hair.” But well, to be totally honest… I like brunette’s. I don’t really care about eye color… I like if they are a bit shorter than me. Cute small noses, thin lips. But they don’t have to be totally hot, I like personality more.” Then we kinda went off topic, then he paused and was like “…I was going to ask you something…. I can’t remember… oh yeah! What do you like in a guy?” I was thinking to myself “oh, shit.” But then I answered, “Okay, well, I like guys who are taller then me. But not by a lot. Like an inch or two. Not a whole head taller then me! But Renne’s high isn’t a problem. It REALLY isn’t. I just like guy just a smidge taller. But his height isn’t a problem, at all. And… I like guy with really soft hair. It doesn’t really matter what it looks like, just as long as it’s soft. I like green eyes. Then my next favorite is blue, light blue, then dark blue, then hazel, then brown. But it really doesn’t matter if I really like the person. Hmm… Can’t have a big nose. (He kinda started to touch his nose for a second,) You don’t have a big nose! Let’s see… Can’t have huge feet. I mean bigger than mine, that’s cool. But I mean they like… (I couldn’t find a word, then he said ‘clown feet?’) Yes! Clown feet! No. Yuck. And I guess… they can’t be fat. I mean they can have chub, I don’t mind that. I like that actually, keeps them nice and comfy, like you! (He smiled) So yeah… I think that’s…about it…” “Wow, you sound picky.” “I’m not! I just have… my tastes.” “Yeah, I know. I was kidding.” So as you can guess, that really did get me thinking. Because to be totally honest, we kind of explained each other. And no, it wasn’t like to hint to him or something. I was telling the truth! And I know he was too. It just… happened. You know?
And so… VERY long story short, I think I have found an amazing guy. But I already have a great guy. And I don’t want to mess that up. I really don’t, I really like Renne. But I don’t know… I don’t want to make the wrong decision. I just have a new friend. That’s all. And new best friend, that I can really, really trust.
COMMENTS
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DuCroix
16:05 Oct 05 2008
It's good to have a friend like that, and if people get the wrong idea about it just smack 'em upside the head and tell them to open their eyes ;P