Honor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
14 entries this month
Weird mix of emotions.
06:12 Jul 31 2008
Times Read: 597
I'm talking to Mark about how I'm like... special to him. And how he's so special to me.
I'm talking to Maddie about feeders. Don't ask.
I'm talking to Shanika about really private stuff. lol.
So I feel loved, hyper/happy, and sad.
This is a pointless entry... But I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever had to do this. lol.
Teenage Sex.
06:08 Jul 31 2008
Times Read: 599
Okay, so as many of my friends know, I love to JOKE about sex. And as many people know, I'm simply, 15.
Now I have a couple friends that really have had sex. Same age as me, just like me too. You know, immature.
One of my friends recently lost her virginity to a guy she has been going out with for like.. what... a month? Two, maybe. Let me tell you about how my friend USED to be. When we were younger.
-We hung out like every weekend. I mean like usually it was just at her house, but like we just sat there. And talked. Chilled. REALLY chilled.
-She was like... loud and funny. But she joked about like...blonde stuff. Silly, stupid stuff. Not sex stuff. Unless it was a total joke. She never implied reality to it. Does that make sense?
-When I hugged her, I really felt like everything was okay, when sometimes I knew for sure it wasn't.
Now:
-We never talk. Hell, last time we talked, was on my birthday. Last. Month. Does that sound like we talk and catch up everyday?
-She talks about what positions are fun. No 15 year old should be SERIOUS when talking about that.
-I don't really hug her anymore. She's off with her friends, I'm off with mine. The groups, they are just different.
My point:
Teenage sex changes things.
When she told me that... she lost her virginity... I wasn't mad. I wasn't sad. I was just... disappointed. I mean... this is an understatement, but it was just a total... let down. If that makes sense. Just pure disapointment.
I guess it's like when a caring parent sees a child fail at something they could succeed at. Like a failing grade. They just see all the potential, wasted.
My friend, she could have gone like.. far. I don't want to say this, but she literally fucked everything up.
Talk about drama.
07:39 Jul 27 2008
Times Read: 611
Wow. Haven't written in awhile. Let's see here. Where to begin?
Starters; school. Yeah, it's kinda like... coming. Fast. Summer has been way too short. I'm freakin' out. And we still have a month left.
Mark; Yeah, I talked to him again today. Like literally, today has revolved around him. After a month of not talking to him, it feels so good to hear his voice. And his laugh. I was just talking to him on webcam... and he had to go. To the hospital. His heart hurt. Was it really fate that brought us together, or just chance? It was one hell of a chance then. I don't think he's gonna call me tomorrow.
Nikki&Shani; Nikki still doesn't trust Shani and I alone. God damn. I can keep my hands to myself. Shit. Like ALL the time she gives Shani these looks of "Don't go there." If that makes sense. It's so... lame. That's the perfect word for it. Lame.
Preston; Okay, so it's not drama, he's actually a really good part in my life. I mean he's like my actual newest friend. But I will admit... I kinda like him. Maybe it's just that he's so cool, or hot, or I'm just excited to call someone new "friend". I think that's what it is. But I feel as though if we went out, it would be like... real. You know how long I've wanted that?
Idaho; I wanna go, I really do. Really! But... a whole week? Without my mommy? My friends? Sure, I'll have my cell phone, but I know I'll still be crying myself to sleep. And my friends think I'm kidding when I say that. My aunt and uncle won't understand me! What if I get hyper? Or sad? They won't be able to console me.
Not Much To Say
22:22 Jul 20 2008
Times Read: 617
Have you noticed that I haven't been writing much lately?
I have. I dunno why.
I guess I just don't have much to say anymore. I have said it all.
Sure, I could write about my day. But it loses interest. Nothing big happens anymore. It's summer.
I dunno. I'm just waiting till school starts. Maybe I'll write more then.
Mmm... I'm feelin' random.
05:27 Jul 16 2008
Times Read: 632
Yeahh, I'm over Brooks.
I miss my pink in my hair!
But I had to go swimming with Maddie =]]]
I feel like reading right now. But I'm writing this.
I WANT TO PLAY SIMS REALLY BAD BUT THIS COMPUTER IS STUPID AND WON'T LET ME.
I kinda love/hate this computer. I call it a love/hate relationship.
I think I'll put purple in my hair now.
Doing laundry makes me feel better about myself. Only doing my laundry though.
My dad's friend's wife is a total druggie. Like hardcore. And she seems to love to get DUI's too. She has AT LEAST 5.
How can you get SO DRUNK that you can't put the bottle up to your lips? Damn.
Abs.
Duh. Randi got offline. lol.
My dad is rambling. hahah. It's okay. It's interesting.
Preston still doesn't see why Tom and I love Sweeney Todd. We watched it together lol.
Sweeney Todd is god. Not really. Life would be scary is Sweeney Todd was God. He's a demon. Get it?
Get it?
Lawlz.
And I'll end it hurr.
Later gangster.
It rhymed. Did you catch that?
Not fair.
03:37 Jul 14 2008
Times Read: 641
Okay, this is me acting like a little brat.
Why the hell does my brother not do shit around the house? No, I'm not saying I do a lot, but I sure as hell do more then him. I sweep the kitchen/bathroom, dishes, I actually CLEAN my room (for the most part), sometimes sort laundry, sweep outside, and clean the vanity in the bathroom. Yeah, it's not a lot. But what does my brother do?
Mmm... Take out the trash. And... mow. Occasionally.
...
...
...
That's it.
He's 18. He should being doing a lot more shit now. My parents could kick him out. But no, he's not ready for that. MAYBE IF HE DID SOMETHING OTHER THEN THE COMPUTER OR THE PS2, MAYBE HE WOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN HOUSE/APPARTMENT.
It's just bullshit.
I'm sick of it.
Angry Man Car. Conan Car.09:36 Jul 13 2008
Times Read: 654
So Maddie and I decided to have a little drawing contest to see who could draw the better car. But... like... no one wins. If that makes sense.
Maddie's is the top on, and I said it looked like an angry person would drive it. And she said mine looks like Conan O'Brien should be driving it. Why? I dunno. But it was hilarious because we were both hyper.
maddie and mines rant on disney.
09:24 Jul 13 2008
Times Read: 660
Sorry if it's confusing. lol. I was kinda ranting on Maddie how Disney/Miley Cyrus really kinda bugs me. =] I'm "& I think I might be falling for him", and Maddie is... "Maddie". lol
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
you know i'm right! you know how many other people would like her if she went into a band liek thatr?
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
well maybe not cuz then she would be a poser. but instead of going into Disney, she should have conformed.
Maddie says:
LOL! burned disneyy to the ground
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
i miss old disney!
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
like the guy who started it all?
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
he just wanted kids to have fun!
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
but NO.
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
the people who run it now fucked it
Maddie says:
i know!! now its shit,
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
like seriously that's why i watch all the old movies we own so much.
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
like i watch a new one every night.
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
well not every night, but often
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
the new shit is just.... ugh!
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
you know?
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
lol
Maddie says:
i know cuz its not disney. at all. it sucks ass,
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
like all they use now is computers.
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
no drawing or anything.
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
sure, it's good for the enviroment, but... whatever!
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
haha
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
i'm goina to copy and [paste this and it's going on my journal
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
like us having this whole rant
Maddie says:
LOL! aweosme!
Maddie says:
yeah i hate it! cuz it just looks goofy! and i love like the old songs and stuff that they would have in old disney
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
like lion king? or... what else was a good disney movie??
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
lol
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
i just went brain dead
Maddie says:
lol alladin, little mermaid, uh damn. um.......... well ya know
Maddie says:
...
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
there ya go!
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
hahah. lame-o's
& I think I might be falling for him. says:
i need to make a cereal of that.
Maddie says:
LMAO like spaghetti os only grosses
Maddie says:
grosser
Look how pretty!
23:03 Jul 10 2008
Times Read: 668
I'm so colorful I make RAINBOWS jealous.
I hate men.
00:02 Jul 09 2008
Times Read: 692
So... Tanner was in my dream. And to be honest, I'm still not over him.
I wanna get on myspace and talk to Brooks again. Because... I'm still not over him.
I hate them both.
Tanner just doesn't want a girlfriend apparently. But, if you look at it from MY point of view, he just doesn't want a girlfriend that's me.
Brooks thinks that I won't want to party. Show hoe much he knows. Pot is his best friend. Why I like him? He's a singer in his band, taller then me, 17, and just... funny as hell. And can skate, and drive. lmao. UGH. Why can't he be ugly? THEN I would be over him. But no. He's a totaly cutie.
After he screwed me over, yes, I still say that.
I don't even know why I'm writing this.
I hate men.
Bye Bye Tyler
23:53 Jul 08 2008
Times Read: 694
I didn't know him very well. But from what I know, he was a great guy.
When Shani told me, I just froze. And Bonnie said she cried when she heard. Now Lanie, she was a nervous wreck. I hope she's okay.
Lanie said that Lizzie, Tyler's girlfriend, said that she was okay, but how could Lizzie be okay? Her and Tyler were together for a couple months already, and super super happy. Anyone could tell.
The family? I dunno about the family. I just hope they're okay.
--Just In---
Bonnie just told me that Becker was with him when he got in the car crash. And he's okay.
That's.... Ironic.
Rainbows. Again.
23:49 Jul 06 2008
Times Read: 714
Now this one is gonna be a real rant. First one in... forever. lol.
Now as I'm sure you know, I really really love rainbows. With the deepest passion. They... complete me. They... bring joy and happiness, and they are perfect.
I even wrote "*Respect the Rainbow*" in yearbooks. Yes, everyone thinks I'm a lesbian.
But that ain't stoppin' me.
So everyone knows me as that chick that wears rainbows. Not because I'm a lesbian or Bisexual, I wear them simply because they are beautiful. Understand? Okay, great.
Now, to my rant.
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE WEAR RAINBOWS WHEN THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I WEAR THEM. ESPECIALLY MY FRIENDS.
I have a couple friends that have seemed to rub off on me the love of rainbows. Now, don't get me wrong. I love to spread love. But but but.... Rainbows is MY thing. Finally, someone has something that's just like... them. And I found my "thing". And what happens? People buy the rainbow shit I was gonna buy.
Sure, it sounds selfish.
I DON'T CARE.
So much for individuality.
So when one of my friends buy something rainbow, at first I think "cool!" but then, I think about it. Who the hell are they to buy my shit? Sure it isn't mine. But I mean, they KNOW I plan on buying it.
Whatever. I'm not gonna buy something they already have.
And just because you're Bi, DOES NOT mean rainbows represent you.
Fuckin' idiots.
...No boyfriend.
02:26 Jul 04 2008
Times Read: 723
I forgot to tell you guys... the day after a got a boyfriend, he broke up with me.
I didn't cry.
I was just pissed.
Becuase it's not fair to me.
WARPED TOUR02:19 Jul 04 2008
Times Read: 725
IIIIIIIII LOVED IT. It came to Utah on the 28th. The day after my birthday, and the day before my party. lol Yeah, I know a bunch of my journal entries are out of order, but so am I! LMAO! jk. I don't know what that means.
Okay, so it was me, and Bonnie, and Lanie. None of us have gone before, so we really didn't have any idea of what to expect. We just kinda... went. lol.
2 and a half hours. In line. It was amazing. We talked to some struggling artists trying to get their band name out on the street, and some were pretty good. Okay, so when we were in the line, about... a half hour before the doors opened, we were at the front of the line practically. it was... so cool. I can't tell you everything that happened. There's no way!
So... I'll summarize for you!
-About 10 minutes before the doors opened, I threw up on the bleachers. Not fun. About 3 hours of 90 degree heat, standing up, and no water. Yeahh, not a good combo. At all.
-Pierce the Veil!!! THEY ARE SO AMAZING! if you can turn "bleeding Love" into screamo, you got talent.
-I met Jeffree Star! YEAH. lmao!
Proof ------>
-I SAW SAY ANYTHING!!!! ugh. I about died. Seriously. SO many sweaty bodies.
COMMENTS
-