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How Many Kids Will You have?

None... Or well. Maybe One...



Maybe you aren't fit for kids... Maybe you have some maturing to do... Maybe you just smoked so much pot that it made you sterile. Either way, you aren't destined for a house filled with little ones begging for every instant of attention you have. You are desitned to life of low familial responsibility.





(It was a quiz on myyearbook.com)



I dont' smoke pot.

but but but. im glad i got this answer. lol

I would tell you what happened the last time I saw my uncle, but it's too personal, and, I don't want you to know.

All I'm gonna say is, my black stud bracelet from Hot Topic is my favorite piece of jewelry I have ever had.

So I’m gonna take a surprise trip up to Idaho. I don’t want to though… Not yet. I don’t want anyone in my family gone. Although I’m not especially close to any of them except my immediate family. All the same though. But it’s gonna happen. And I can’t stop it, so I’m not even gonna complain.

My Aunt Kathy got into some scuffle with my Uncle Rob (The sick uncle). It was maybe… two years ago? Well anyway, they didn’t talk. At all. But then things changed… You know. He got cancer.

Everything seemed to change. I thought about how they lost all that time together. Brother and Sister, fighting. It’s horrible. But that’s old news. I’m just glad they are talking…

But for how long will any of us be talking to Rob?

That I had someone I could trust.

I mean sure, I trust people.

But not many people.

There's only one person I can think of that I know won't tell a soul.

And that's Bonnie. She's honestly the only person I can think of that can KEEP a secret.

Hell, even I have to tell a person or two. Trusted people, of course. Right.

Even the people I trust my life with, I can't trust with my secrets. Hope that makes sense.

I love all my friends. But when someone that shouldn't even know my sexual orientation, comes up to me, asking "Oh, so I hear you're gonna ask out Michelle.",

It HURTS.

My brother's birthday is on Friday. The BIG 1-8. haha. It's gonna be cool. I guess anyway. I don't think we are gonna do anything. But it's cool. I didn't think I would live to see the day. (Get it? Little sister, annoying as hell... very easy to crush and kill.... it's a joke)



Welll.... Maybe you have, maybe you haven't read the journal entry about my uncle. He has cancer, and he was supposed to have like... 6 months left. Take note, "Supposed".



But my mom got a call from my aunt, and then later my other uncle, about how my first uncle, may have from a few hours, to days, to live.



I wanted to collapse. How I am supposed to handle this? I can't just "go with the flow" (which is my life philosophy) on this one. Like I could, but I don't feel like it's the right way to deal with it.



I know I'll be okay, but it will just SUCK. I was waiting to go to a funeral in the summer. Not within the week.



I'm shaking way bad. I hope school can help get my mind off everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

I get bored. And I have Microsoft Paint.

Why not?

























^_^

I always say I don't want kids. But I don't think people REALLY know why.

-I'm afraid of the pain. I don't like pain. So... why put myself through that...?

-My body would...change.... Uh... ew.

-I'm just simply not good with kids. I would never know what to do. Sure, they have classes for all that jazz, but... every child is different...

-I'm afraid for my child... having a disorder. I'm not exactly a "trooper". I wouldn't be able to handle it. I know this.

-What if... Something BAD happened...? Like a car crash. Or a kidnapping? I just... don't see if I could handle that either.

-REBELLION. I HATE fighting with my parents. It hurts waaaaaaaay too bad. I don't want to even have that opportunity for that to ever happen.

-I'm afraid they would have a nightmare in the middle of the night and come into my room and then say "Mommy..." in a whisper and then BOOM their face is all up in my grill. IT'S REALLY SCARY!!! (I know this sounds selfish and shallow, but then, you don't know me too well. =])

-It's better to save a life than make a life. (adoption)



And soooo many reasons.



And now, for the "on the other hand" moment.

-Children are the future. Sure... Are you really sure you want to put their hands in charge? lol.

-A friend for life. No. Not always.

-They're a miracle. I know the joy of birth and all that.... but uh... no comment.





I REALLY hope this has cleared SOMETHING up....





I just don't want children.

If there was just ONE thing you need to know about me, it's that I'm TRULY sorry.

COMMENTS

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SycoxPenGuin
23:14 Feb 17 2008

about what??

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Ever seen color?

Wait, scratch that. Ever LOOKED at color?

Like appreciate it for it's shade?

I do. Everytime I have my eyes open. =]

I really hope that no one ever stabs me in the eyes.

Because colors are pretty.

And I would lose myself

If I lost them.

And people ask why I love rainbows.

They keep me sane now =]

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RazzleDazzle
07:52 Feb 16 2008

LMAO!!!

This is so cool.

God. How could anyone NOT love rainbows. Seriously. Colors are so pretty!!!! Except orange. hehehe

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You say America is shit? WHY? Because it's not perfect? WELL HELL-FUCKING-O. NO PLACE IS. YOU LIVE IN THE BEST PLACE YOU CAN! And what do you say? Something like a little spoiled brat? WELL YOU ARE SPOILED, AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY WHAT YOU WANT! You can whine and BITCH allll you want BECAUSE YOU CAN. SO YOU DO. AND YOU WHINE ABOUT NOTHING.

Some countrys, if you even have an OPINION, YOU'RE SHOT.

And you simply take that granted, don't you?



So you hate America? mmmmmmmhm. Go live in China. Where there are NO standards for their food. They could serve something that's 3 years old if they wanted!!! Now you're just asking to die, huh? Go live there.

So you hate America? mmmmmmmhm. Go live in India (I believe it's India anyway...), where women have to wear headdresses and long skirts or dresses ALLLLLL day, in heat over 100 degrees! If they take off their long dresses, and wear shorts, THEY ARE CONSIDERED SLUTS! Go live there.

So you hate America? mmmmmmmhm. Go live ANYWHERE with dictators instead of a democracy. You don't get a SAY in anything. And that's what we want, no? Go live there.



If you hate America SOOOOOOOOOOO bad, LEAVE. We dont' want you here anyway!





You know, America sucks.

.........................

Right.

**I know I sound like I'm bragging, I'm not. Seriously.***



My biggest pet peeve right now?

How many people say I'm "amazing".

They say I am. But they NEVER have anything to back it up. Yeah, I've noticed.

(and just to add, I hate it when people never have anything to back up a statement. "Just because" isn't a reason, and never was.)

IF, IN FACT, I was "amazing", why I am still single? OHHOHOH TELL ME THAT.



I know you're just trying to make me feel better. But in fact, when you say "you're so amazing", it just hurts more.



SO SHUT UP.





This is directed to two people in particular btw.

Ever had a twisted thought? Like so twisted you're scared to tell anyone?



I have one of those.



Ever since I started to crack my knuckles, so... maybe when I was 10? I had had this... dream? Visual? Picture? Whatever... I had this thought of every. single. bone in my body popped. not out of place, or broken. Just popped. Like I do with my knuckles. Is it possible? Probably not.



But it's a weird thought, and for some reason, I think it would bring me happiness if it ever happened.



I just scared myself.

Mardi Gras. Oh how I hate it. Well only in school. It's lame. I want to experience the REAL Mardi Gras. ...lol.

Anyway, candy, gum and beads were being thrown at us. French class is the culprit.

And how woulda thought it?

Jamie offered me candy...?

I didn't want any, so I didn't even try to pick up any.

And... she gave some to Maddie.

I didn't say anything except "No! I hate Mardi Gras!"

After class, I waited for Maddie to come out, when she did, she had a "WTF?" expression on her face.

"... Was that weird that Jamie tried to talk to us...?" I asked.

"YEAH!"

And we burst out laughing.

Boy, she has some guts to talk to us. Lol, especially after "Earthquake".

COMMENTS

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RazzleDazzle
02:30 Feb 06 2008

OMFG!!! LMAO!

That last part made me laugh soooo hard!

I ♥ you Abbey!



Omg I'll be so pissed if that heart doesn't work.

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RazzleDazzle
02:30 Feb 06 2008

Teh woot! It works!

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EXTRA! EXTRA!



A EXTRA LARGE SLIM FIT TEE.

Woo. Time to start thinkin' about high school. Yay. Woot. Not. Oh well.



Anyway, I was thinking, if I want to be so successful, then I better not screw up.

Although I'm sure I won't, how do I know for sure? I can't tell the future. But I can predict.



I can predict that sooner or later, I'll never see my best friends except at the high school reunions. We'll move on, and not care.

I can predict that I'll change my mind about what I want to do with my life. I have already, but not completely. Oprah says "pickle" weird. And I notice. Should I be a audiologist? My mom says I should look into that.

I want to help people. Not fixing screw ups, that's no fun. But I want to show the screw ups that they are what they are. That's the fun part. Is it phycology for Abbey in the future?

My mother is an X-Ray Tech. Bones fascinate me. But should I risk looking at a picture for radiation?

Those are really the only careers I've really thought about.

And I know people don't believe that I'll go far.

But I refuse to be a mess up.

I refuse to be a fuck up.

I'll go far.

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RazzleDazzle
02:32 Feb 06 2008

Ugh it's just like really overwhelming for me to think about. Like... not only the credits we have to earn, and take classes we like to get, but to think about what I actually wanna do? OMG! It's freakin me out! lol



We'll just have to find really really rick husbands incase things don't work out. ^__^

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