The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

PRIVATE ENTRY
17:09 Aug 31 2010
Times Read: 697


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PRIVATE ENTRY
22:30 Aug 30 2010
Times Read: 702


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16:14 Aug 29 2010
Times Read: 738

Voicemail: "Hi Jadee, this is Alex, just calling to see what you are doing, guess I'll talk to you later, call me, bye." I look over at the clock, IT'S 2 A.M IN THE FUCKING MORNING WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM DOING?!? Or rather WAS doing. I had visions of him going around knocking on my bedroom windows like he has been known to do before.



Listen Alex, I am not your girlfriend therefore you have no right to call me at odd hours of any given day, no right to show up at my house at odd hours of any given day without an invitation, no right to put your hands on my thighs, legs or any other part of my body like you did the other day and I most definitely am NOT your 2 in the morning booty call!!



Get a fucking clue dude. I should of answered, I'm pretty grumpy early in the morning, can you tell.

PRIVATE ENTRY
15:59 Aug 29 2010
Times Read: 739


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17:12 Aug 28 2010
Times Read: 765


"It's not about winning Haven. I'm not a prize to be won. I'm not the princess that needs rescuing from the dragon. I'm the prince and I kill my own monsters. You need to be ok with that."



~~~Anita Blake, Bullet.



*I so love that passage. Can you say emasculation?

PRIVATE ENTRY
05:34 Aug 25 2010
Times Read: 778


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04:57 Aug 24 2010
Times Read: 808

*Cries* I just can't please everyone all the time, if you don't make your intentions clear to me I have no way to know how to behave towards you. I am not a mind reader. Thank fucking God. I can only give so much and then you have to do your share.



I'm standoffish you tell me. Well yeah, I can be, in fact I can be extremely cold but I just don't think that you "get" me. And now I am at a loss on how to behave to you, what do you want from me? Really......



I thought we were just friends. Maybe I'm a bad friend :(

18:45 Aug 22 2010
Times Read: 856

So, my exes new "whatever" wants to be my friend on Facebook, seriously? She has it as her relationship status that they are a couple, he has told her to remove it, she hasn't. She has also posted on his wall that she loves him. He has told her that he is still in love with me. Her wall is full of "my life is terrible", "he doesn't love me I don't know why"...blah blah blahs, personally I think she is a psycho stalker chick lol. This is all just too High School for me. What does she think, we are going to become besties and I'll share everything about him with her, uhmmmm, I think not.



On a bad day I would accept her request and toy with her because I can be a bitch like that sometimes. On a normal day I'd say keep me out of it, that is my past and its staying there. Still deciding what kind of day it is....hehe.

23:38 Aug 21 2010
Times Read: 873






Miss independent

Miss self sufficient

Miss keep your distance mmmmm

Miss unafraid

Miss out my way

Miss don't let a man interfere, no

Miss on her own

Miss almost grown

Miss never let a man help her off her throne

So, by keeping her heart protected

She’d never ever feel rejected

Little miss apprehensive

said ooo, she fell in love



What is this feeling taking over

Thinking no one could open the door

Surprise it’s time to feel what’s real

What happened to Miss independent

No longer need to be defensive

Goodbye old you when love is true!



Miss guarded heart

Miss play it smart

Miss if you want to use that line you better not start, no

But she miscalculated

She didn’t want to end up jaded

And this Miss decided not to miss out on true love

So, by changing her misconceptions

She went in a new direction

And found inside she felt a connection

She fell in love



What is this feeling taking over

Thinking no one could open the door

Surprise it’s time to feel what’s real

What happened to Miss independant

No longer need to be defensive

Goodbye old you when love, when love is true



When Miss independent walked away

No time for love that came her way

She looked in the mirror and thought today

What happened to Miss no longer afraid

It took some time for her to see



How beautiful love could truly be

No more talk of why can’t that be me

I’m so glad I finally see…



What is this feeling taking over

Thinking no one could open the door

Surprise it’s time to feel what’s real

What happened to Miss independant

No longer need to be defensive

Goodbye old you when love

when love is true...



Miss independent



*I love Kelly Clarkson, yes she is Mainstream but I love the lyrics to all of her music, I can always relate to them, so pooh on you if you don't like her*

PRIVATE ENTRY
19:26 Aug 21 2010
Times Read: 875


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PRIVATE ENTRY
04:32 Aug 21 2010
Times Read: 878


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PRIVATE ENTRY
10:27 Aug 20 2010
Times Read: 894


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03:14 Aug 19 2010
Times Read: 933

LadyChordewa gave me permission to re-post this in my journal. I absolutely love it and its something that I try to live by as well, every one of these are valid:





Owls Rules of Love





These are some of the things that I have been saying to people recently, figured it was time to share them. This was an email sent to me, but I found myself agreeing and learning and living these rules. So I will call them Owls rules of love. Not that I have had ample success with my love life, but I have had enough knocks to realized that every one of these is true. I am doing my best to follow them, maybe it will help others.







1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.



2. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.



3. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.



4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.



5. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.



6. Slower is better.



7. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.



8. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.



9. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.



10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.



11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.



12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?



13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.



14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.



15. If something bothers you, speak up.



16. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.



17. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.



18. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.



19. Never let a man define who you are.



20. Never borrow someone else's man.



21. Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.



22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.



23. All men are NOT dogs.



24. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.



25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute

about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship



26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.



27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.



28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you are always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.



29. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.



30. In your life, everyone has to go through some heartache. How else would you know, what you want, what you don’t? How else would you recognize the one that is right for you? Pain is how you grow and learn. Its part of life, get use to it.



31. Actions speak louder than words.



32. Never make someone a priority when they put you as an option

03:50 Aug 18 2010
Times Read: 994

You know what......I'm remembering why I am single, I think I'll stay this way. FOREVER!

Reality Check
20:29 Aug 17 2010
Times Read: 1,028

People seem to underestimate me all of the time, I'm not sure why that is and perhaps you are no exception.



I had a chance today to step back and look at the situation and for you its a win, win one. Not so much for me. And every time that I think we are taking a step forward you will say something that makes me take 2 steps back. That one little slip opened my eyes wide, you tried to gloss it over with your reasoning but it was what it was and it kinda hurt. You can do whatever you want there is nothing between us that says otherwise and thats the crutch of the matter.



I guess thats a 2 way street though and I'm done with my brief episode of delusion. I'll be going back to my wicked ways heh. Lets see what you think about that shall we...

The Wicked Truth
05:41 Aug 16 2010
Times Read: 1,069

It's true. I can be a wicked, wicked girl.....shame on me ;)



But would you have me any other way?

PRIVATE ENTRY
17:05 Aug 15 2010
Times Read: 1,072


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PRIVATE ENTRY
07:15 Aug 15 2010
Times Read: 1,074


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18:53 Aug 14 2010
Times Read: 1,101

I wake up to a message from him every morning, I've gotten used to it, a part of me likes it and then another part of me doesn't. It's always filled with how much he misses me. And how much he still loves me. Which I avoid the topic like the plague, something I'm very good at heh. I'm just not sure if we can remain friends like this. I want him to be able to move on and if he is talking to me all day everyday and according to him I'm all he thinks about maybe it would be best if I just let him go.....



When is it ok to remain friends and what lines do you draw...uggh.

20:04 Aug 13 2010
Times Read: 1,134

Have you ever met someone that has all the qualities and then some that you have been looking for in a person. Someone that you have immediate chemistry with both physically and mentally, you just "fit" like a missing puzzle piece. And you know that if you stepped away from that safety net for just one second you would be falling madly in love with them.



And then, life throws a wrench in it. She just couldn't resist. Nothing is ever simple. I have no say in the matter, it's not my place and I know that I should be a big girl about it but its hard.



The choices we make in life can take us down many paths, be careful of the ones you choose because they can make the difference between happiness and despair.

20:03 Aug 09 2010
Times Read: 1,196

Reading someone elses journal a bit ago made me think about how much I miss waking up in the morning next to someone, it's been 3 long years since someone has occupied that spot. I miss the cuddling that goes with it, granted not the snoring, morning breath or blanket hogging lol but I think it would be a fair trade *smiles*.



I have to wonder if my "resistance" to sharing that spot over the years is due to my high expectations or rather standards I have for it or if those expectations are the way they are to protect me from letting anyone get too close to me. If they aren't attainable then I don't have to take the chance/risk. Just thinking...probably too much.

05:07 Aug 09 2010
Times Read: 1,238

I get so fucking tired of shit like this, I get it all damned day, enough already! And lucky for him he apologized ....read bottom up:





Original Message:



FROM: mastertwilight



yes ma'am

sorry ma;am

teddy bears ma;am?



On 04:45:58 Aug 09 2010 (-0 GMT) PandorasBx wrote:



I'm fine I just don't like to be fucking groped all the time...



On 04:44:36 Aug 09 2010 (-0 GMT) mastertwilight wrote:



-stops,salutes- yes ma;am

not in a good mood now?



On 04:35:33 Aug 09 2010 (-0 GMT) PandorasBx wrote:



Leave my boobs alone grrrrr



On 04:35:04 Aug 09 2010 (-0 GMT) mastertwilight wrote:



-pounces on u and hugs ur boobs- i miss these the most lol



On 04:33:45 Aug 09 2010 (-0 GMT) PandorasBx wrote:



Thankies



On 04:32:45 Aug 09 2010 (-0 GMT) mastertwilight wrote:



wb

I love this song
18:54 Aug 06 2010
Times Read: 1,264

03:53 Aug 06 2010
Times Read: 1,280

We talked so long that I got to see the sun rise this morning, I fall apart whenever I hear his voice and things I had never thought I would entertain for even the slightest moment come spilling from my mouth in something akin to a plea. All I have to do is utter one word and somebodies world will become complete with that white little picket fence. But that fence may feel like a trap to me.



Do I love him enough to make that sacrifice or is it just the idea of love that I find myself in?

Someday
23:49 Aug 05 2010
Times Read: 1,304

04:20 Aug 02 2010
Times Read: 1,354

And they all come crawling back in the long run, well just keep on crawling right on by asswipe, cuz that ship has sailed....Oh and I prefer my men to know how to spell, yeah....







Original Message:



FROM: xxxxxxxx



ok hun if im not omn please call me id love to hear your coice once again i mis it very much



On 03:04:51 Aug 02 2010 (-0 GMT) PandorasBx wrote:



Hey hun, I have to give my daughter a ride home from her work, I'll be back on in a lil' bit kk...





And wow, thats kinda fucked up, I hope they replace it all for you *hugs*.





Yeah, you kinda did fuck up with me heh





Original Message:



FROM: xxxxxxxx



your still as beautiful as ever i regret fucking up



i miss you more im such a fuck up your on my mind a lot



On 02:44:53 Aug 02 2010 (-0 GMT) xxxxxxxx wrote:



hello how are you i hoe your ok i miss you and i hope one day you culd call i miss hearing your voice your still my fried and i do care and i am here for you