THIS JOURNAL IS ON 79 FAVORITE JOURNAL LISTSHonor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
6 entries this month
Thank you01:54 Dec 31 2010
Times Read: 690
To everyone that commented in the entries below. Thank you...... I appreicate it more than you are ever going to know.
The services for my mother are tomorrow.....one day. That is all that there will be.
Again - thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.
Finished02:02 Dec 30 2010
Times Read: 723
Today my mother passed away. I was with my daughter and did not want to bring her to the hospital so I was not there but they tell me that she passed in her sleep.
I am sure that this is for the best - I think that she was in a tremendous amount of pain.
To all of you that send messages and offered shoulders. Thank you. I am blessed.
............. update02:32 Dec 29 2010
Times Read: 735
I went to the hospital. Took every ounce of courage to walk through the door. What I saw is going to haunt me for the rest of my days.
She is hooked up to all sorts of chemicals.....and morphine for the pain. They are deliberately not feeding her as she is not even conscious enough to eat.
The one singe horror is that I think.....actually I am positive that she was well aware of what was going on but her body was failing her so much that she could not even speak. Every once in a while she would appear to try and move and a guttural sound would come out of her mouth but ..... nothing resembling words.
And then they had to come in and clean her - and to do this they had to turn her in the bed. They did this with the greatest of care but the scream from her ..........goddess the scream. I may never sleep again.
I discussed the future with my father – where he would stay how I would pay to redo his living quarters, that I would still support him when the time comes. We talked of arrangements and desires – both for my mother and for him. It was very strange….. and yet it gave me something else to focus on than her.
I would like to say that I was the better person and that I could finally say that I loved her or that I forgive her - anything to offer some solace. But to say that would be a lie. I took the cowards way out and said nothing but goodbye.
............... I came home and held my daughter a little tighter than normal and told her I loved her so much that she finally said " yes Mama I KNOW"...... ah 5 year olds. I am going to try to be a little more patient, and a little more understanding with my little one. I have to be for both our sakes.
..........passings19:16 Dec 27 2010
Times Read: 760
Today I received a call from my father informing me that my mother is dying.
To be perfectly honest, I am not sure how I feel about this. My mother (and I use that term loosely) was never there for me. Nothing was ever good enough. I remember the point where I just stopped trying to please her. I was about 12 or so. I had gone through a horrific experience and there was no way to tell them. From that point on I took care of myself……made for some interesting times but for the most part I came through with minimal scarring
I will say that I am a little sad at this news and THAT surprises me. I do not know how to react to this. The practical side of me is relieved that I will no longer have the financial burden of her care (and yes I am her sole support; both of my parents actually) Since I graduated college I have paid their bills, mortgage, and funded all their whims. I will say that I do this more out of obligation than out of love…although I do love my father deeply. He just doesn’t know the real me.
So they have asked me to go to the hospital tomorrow. Say goodbye and all that. I will go and I wonder what I will feel. I hope that I will feel something – at least to prove to her that my soul is not as black as she always told me it was. On the other hand………. Sometimes feeling nothing can be a safe haven.
20:49 Dec 20 2010
Times Read: 782
Tonight is the night!!! Last time this happened was 372 years ago!
Lunar Eclipse
Ha! 21:29 Dec 03 2010
Times Read: 806
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied.
'Now just rest and let the poison work.'
RECENT KISMET
Sire (104)
🌚”The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” 🌚
08:04 - April 26 2025
Transgressor (54)
🐰 "shh, we're hunting wabbits" 🐰
06:28 - April 26 2025
Haunt (40)
The black wind howls... One among you.. Will shortly perish
02:09 - April 26 2025
REAL VAMPIRES LOVE VAMPIRE RAVE
Vampire Rave is a member of
Page generated in 0.0683 seconds.
COMMENTS
-