The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

There is no one there,

I am all alone.

When I enter the door,

It is a cold dark home.



The fire is out,

There is no happiness here.

Nothing runs the halls,

But a future of fear.



The coldness is like ice,

Running through my veins.

There is no use in complaing,

No one cares about my pain.



I seek a friend,

Someone to share life with.

I look tio the stars,

For a heavenly gift.



Maybe one day,

Maybe sometime soon.

I will turn the corner,

And her gaze will make me swoon.



I dont ask for much,

Just one with a good heart.

Someone who is true,

Never wanting to be apart.

And so another sun rises,

And begins a new day.

I can already tell,

This one will be the same way.



My heart will hurt,

Until tonight I sleep.

For theres no one here,

For it inside to keep.



Each and every day,

In a circle I am running.

Getting nowhere,

Except for more dying.



When does it get,

Any easier than this.

For being happy,

Is something I miss in this life.

The slope is slippery,

Steadily heading downward.

I cant keep my footing,

Trying to stay upright is to hard.



The icy surface,

Has me falling ever fast.

At this pacemy heart,

It shall never last.



I cannot rise,

From this recent fall.

It hurts even more,

As Ive no one to call.



I am alone,

In this dark dark place.

As I fall to my death,

All I see is a blank face.



There is no one to help,

To reach out and grab my arm.

So i am resolved,

Ill go to HELL resovledly calm.









I

I cant breath,

The air is thick and black.

I am choking,

For oxygen there is a lack.



The flames lick at me,

Like a dogs wanting kiss.

The heat becomes intense,

Hells gates I cannot miss.



I am ready to go,

Ready to enter damnation.

For I am so tired of this life,

I have no answers for an explanation.



Everyday is seems worse,

Than the one that just passed.

Nothing makes me smile,

Nobody can make me laugh.



I see no reason,

To continue this pain.

For its taking to long,

For my lifes blood to drain.



I am so far gone,

That I care for nothing.

I am so dead inside,

That tommorrow I am dreading.



This path I am on,

There is no joy.

All they do,

Is treat my heart like a toy.



I am ready now,

To enter the gates,

For at least where im going,

I can deal with all the hate.

The noose tightens,

Cutting off the air.

I do not mind the pain,

For I no longer care.



This life is to much,

I cant go any longer.

I am to tired of struggling,

Ways out my mind has begun to conger.



This path was not,

What it was supposed to be.

It should have been,

A life that was happy and carefree.



But it has become worse,

Harsher than before.

I do not want to be here,

Cant stand this shit anymore.



I am now completely drained,

Of all that was inside.

I step off the stool,

Taking the jolt in stride.



As it becomes tense,

Breaking what is there.

The light inside me goes out,

And I leave this place without a care.



Do not cry for me,

No tears should be shed.

For know this all of you,

I am better off dead.

The light is leaving,

It flickers in the clouds.

The lightning strikes,

The thunder above roars loud.



The sound in my head,

Is like white static noise.

Tormenting me each minute,

Its like a sharp screechy voice.



Telling me to look,

At whats not even there.

Telling me to begin pursuit,

With no reasoning or care.



So as usual,

I begin my quest.

Only for things,

To turn out just like all the rest.



I am running in circles,

Have been for years.

MY heart has been crushed many times,

I have cried buckets of tears.



All I ask for,

Is a moment of peace.

Someone as true as I am,

Not a trickster slick as white hot grease.



Is there no one,

Who the truth she speaks,

Am I destined to be sad,

And only find freaks.



Maybe one day,

She will cross in front of me.

Maybe one day,

An angel will set me free.

I close my eyes,

To stop the pain.

But it coarses through me,

Like a violent drowning rain.



It torments me,

Mocking me each day.

It teases me,

Pushing me further away.



It plays games,

Trying to trick my mind.

Making me feel things,

That were never alive.



Pushing me closer,

To an edge of no return.

As I step closer,

The flames begin to burn.



It is always the same,

Just different players and cast.

But I know that the end is near,

especially the hurt from the last.



It is time to go now,

Time to release the doves.

For Id rather my life ended,

Then to ever deal again with love.

You are fresh air in a stale world, you are a warm fire on a chilly night,you are life where there has been nothing but death, you are a light in the dark, and I grabbed you not wanting to let go,you are on my mind with every tick of the clock, my mind and my heart playing games with each other, driving me crazy as they always do...constantly running thoughts of what was wanted and what ifs, and it could be likes...scenarios of what life would be like with you..and there is where the problem isand always has been, they conspire against one another, driving me crazy for the mind makes the heart work overtime, and then when it is to late the heart crumbles, and the mind can only only say why...why again

Why does it hurt,

It should not exist.

So when the words are read,

Does it feel as if ive been dismissed.



There was nothing there,

It was what I thought it could be.

A new path, a new start,

That was just for you and me.



Am I doing it again,

Falling for whats not there.

Why does this cycle continue,

Why my heart do I bare.



We are not together,

So why do I feel cold.

Why do I feel betrayed,

Why are these feelings nothing more than old.



My mind is a poison,

Thats feeds my heart.

I think it thinks its funny,

Watching it get torn apart.



Like 2 seperate things,

In a world of sorrow.

Playing games with each other,

Hurting less today than tommorrow.



I need to find,

What will be true to me.

For if I do not,

Then I shall never feel free.

As I walk on this path,

Not knowing what to expect.

Curve balls are thrown at me,

Am i supposed to wreck.



One day unravels,

Into the next.

I swaer on whats sacred,

I must have a hex.



My mind is like jelly,

Im not sure what is real.

All I know,

Is mt heart wants to feel.



It aches for that spark,

That seems so fleeting.

All I ever get is a pain,

And trauma that keeps repeating.



When will it end,

When will she come to me.

So that she an I,

Will now be known as we.



Alone time is great,

And needed at times.

But life would be greater,

When sharing each others lives.



So the doors are open,

And here I shall stand.

Not knowing who will enter,

But knowing she will be grand.



And after she has arrived,

And we then walk together.

Life shall start anew,

And "Not Again" I shall say never.

The terrain sames the same,

The pace is ever slow.

There is no light in this place,

I do not know where to go.



Each time a door opens,

I want to run inside.

And each time I do,

A little more my heart dies.



Why is this journey,

To find one who is true.

So hard and dark,

Why is life ever so blue.



I hand out my heart,

Each and every time.

Only to get it thrown back at me,

Dead and cold its no longer alive.



I have no energy,

To continue looking for her.

For with each disappointment,

The darkness is harder to endure.



Maybe I should close my eyes,

And sleep till time ends.

Then maybe when I awake,

I can find someone more than a friend.

My mind races against time,

Not knowing what the truth is.

The thoughts come like wildfire,

Burning, destroying all that was left.

My eyes weep,

Knowing that whats was, really was not.

The darkness closes in,

Clouding the space that is now empty.

No thoughts now,

I can not think.

I see only black,

Like a thick blanket.

It suffocates me, drowns me.

I do not see any light,

Can not feel anyone reaching for me.

I try to scream out,

But nothing escapes my throat,

As there is no life left inside me.

Death is coming,

I can hear him,

Knocking on the door,

Telling me it is time to go.

I can't escape him, can't escape the grip of his hand.

He pulls me deeper into the darkness,

Deeper into nothingness.

I am no longer,

I am dead.

My eyes grow heavy,

And the lids want to close.

I slump into the corner,

My heart racing as the blood flows.



I can feel a coldness,

Creeping through my veins.

As life escapes me,

I havent the strength to hold the reins.



I am slipping into the darkness,

I can feel deaths hard grip.

The light is going out,

I am going on a trip.



Where I am going,

Only time will tell.

But I do know this,

It cant be any worse than this awfull hell.



I am ready for what awaits me,

Anything shall do.

I will wait on the other side,

I shall wait for you.



Maybe next time,

When our paths do cross.

Things will be different,

Neither shall have to deal with loss.



I am almost gone now,

1 drop of life remains.

As it hits the floor now,

There is no more pain.

Where does it lead,

This tunnel filled with black.

I must go forward,

As there is no turning back.



I cannot see anything,

Do not know what lies ahead.

If I am not careful,

I will surely end up dead.



Not that that,

Would be so bad.

For then Ill know,

Its the end of being sad.



these days have been dark,

With no sign of life.

All I see lately,

Is the edge of a knife.



I am hoping,

That someday soon.

Something will click,

And end all this gloom.

The cards have been dealt,

With a crushing blow.

When she sees the light,

Itll be to late to go.



She made the bed,

And must now there lay.

For her time will come,

Her judgement day.



She knows the why,

Of what she has done.

Shes a game player,

So beware anf from her you should run.



She will smile at you,

And give false hope.

And when you close your eyes,

She will tighten the rope.



For she will take,

What love is in your heart.

Laughing loudly,

As she rips it apart.



One day she will look back,

When she meets her maker.

For she thinks its funny.

To be called "The Heartbreaker".

I cant deal with this

The ups and downs.

One day I am smiling,

The next nothing but frowns.



I am going crazy,

I am losing my mind.

I need me a friend,

To me they would be kind.



Someone to talk to,

Who will listen and understand.

Not someone who nods,

Says ok and waves their hand.



I am losing this battle,

As the darkness closes in.

I fear this is a battle,

For which I shall not win.



Somewhere out there,

In the futre im told,

Might be someone,

For me she will hold.



Everyone says,

It takes time to heal.

Come walk in my shoes,

Lets see if you can deal.



This is very real,

It is to me not a joke.

Each new tick of the clock,

I feel the rope begin more to choke.



I am crying out,

For the help of one.

Before time runs out,

I pray you will come.

It has come to me,

In the darkest regions of my mind.

That I am ready now,

To end the clicking of time.



I will not scream or cry,

If there is any pain.

As I glide the sharp blade,

Across my red vein.



I canot take much more,

Of the hurt that swells.

I do not fear death,

I want to hear the bells.



She does not know,

What she has done to me.

I begged her to listen,

I used every plea.



Maybe someday,

With open eyes she will see,

That what was done,

Was what truly killed me.



Not the blood pumping through the cut,

It wasnt that to blame.

But when she crushed my heart,

When she blew out the flame.



She will never know,

The love she threw away.

Not until I am buried,

Not until my funeral day.



And then it will be,

Far to late.

For a chance,

To reconcilate.



I have had enough,

And will end my time here.

For this just hurts to much,

Not to have her near.



But please I ask,

Do not cry for me.

For when the last drop of blood falls,

Of the pain I will truly be free.

The thoughts in my head,

Are deadly as hell.

Theres no one to talk to,

No one I can tell.



It was nothing to her,

Just a game for fun.

And when she decided,

She said we are done.



No rhyme or reason,

Just a on a whim.

Now shes laughing at me,

That shit eating grin.



Everday i am told,

Time will heal the pain.

Bullshit I say as I pick up the knife,

Why always me as a slice the vein.



Yes these thoughts,

Are very very real.

This is truly killing me,

I can no longer deal.



I want to go,

Into a very deep sleep.

Never to wake up,

I could care less who weeps.



Im told these thoughts,

Are selfish and dumb.

Wear my shoes for just one day,

For I can no longer run.



Noone can help me,

To far gone am I.

I am so tired and drained,

Believe me im ready to die.



Everything i thought,

That was pure and sublime.

Is whittling away,

As it was all 2 years of lies.



I can not take,

Anymore emotional stress.

For with each passing day,

All I do is regress.



If someone out there,

Realizes this is no joke.

Time is running out,

To stop me from going broke..........

The darkness is growing,

It is killing me inside.

I welcome deaths wrath,

I shall not hide.



I wish this would end,

This terrible life.

Someone please help me,

Just push in the knife.



No longer can I stand,

On this jagged edge.

Someone please help me,

Push me off the ledge.



I can go no lower,

The bottom i shall reach.

Someone please help me,

Cock the gun and pull the breach.



My heart is shattered,

A joke was it all.

I no longer want to exist,

911 someone should call.



My thoughts are darkening,

Taking me far away.

I do not want to wake,

Having to face another day.



There is no life left,

As a person I am crushed.

When you find my body.

To the hospital I shall not need to be rushed.



Let me be at peace,

No more tormented dreams.

I want to end this life,

In the shadow s of the moon beams.

And just like that,

In a moment so brief.

She makes me smile,

Forgetting my grief.



It is so new,

Can this truly be real.

Is it in my mind,

Or am i remembering how to feel.



She is like a gift,

From somewhere high above.

Gliding in to me,

On the wings of a dove.



She brings with her,

The suns golden rays.

Warming my face,

And undarkening my days.



She calms me,

Making me slow down.

She makes me happy,

Takes away my sorrow so I dont drown.



I know it is new,

And I should not rush.

But if its not meant to be,

Then tell me and Ill hush.



But until such time,

As she says no way.

I shall keep her in my heart,

Hoping to meet her someday.

As I grow angry,

And it comes to a head.

I am wishing the one who caused this pain,

Would be terribly dead.



The lies and deceit,

That crushed my heart.

Will be used as tools,

To repair all its parts.



She weaves her web,

With each breath she takes.

But soon enough,

She will make a mistake.



The next one she hurts,

And fools like me.

Will be the one,

That will truly set her free.



They will show her,

Where lies take you.

They will show her,

What she shouldnt do.



She will get ,

What is coming her way.

For what she has done,

Someone will make her pay.

As time passes by,

These days of late.

I find my self smiling,

Even feeling great.



My path has been crossed,

What appears to be a gift.

For the seas are now calm,

Theres not even a rift.



I shall take things slow,

For I can not bear.

The pain of another heart break,

Not even the smallest tear.



If this is for real,

Not to good to be true.

Then my heart shall beat again,

And never be blue.



It has been a long while,

That things werent bad.

Everyday was black as night,

Every minute unbearably sad.



I am hoping it is time,

For the end of the pain.

Because of this vision,

I have everything to gain.



If this is the begining,

And it is meant to be.

Then I welcome this vision,

With open arms please come to me.

As my heart was ripped out,

And thrown to the floor.

Being crushed beneath your feet,

I heard the opening of a door.



I picked myself up,

And walked toward the light.

Not knowing what was there,

Not knowing if Id be alright.



I stepped through the opening,

Hoping for something new.

When I crossed the threshold,

What was waiting was you.



I do not know,

Where this path will lead.

But I do know now,

For one moment with you Id gladly plead.



Only in the future,

Will we know why our paths crossed.

So until that time,

In my mind shall you be embossed.