Great, just great.
It's 9 degrees right now. I have experienced much colder weather, but tonight it's bothering me more, and the colder weather we've had the last couple of weeks has been bothering me more. I'm grouchy and whiny and just want to stay home and away from people. At the same time, I get lonely if I stay at home alone too much.
Spent today with a friend. Work tomorrow. Have to get up and catch the bus early, in the cold, and I don't want to. Waaah. Oh well. I almost always start feeling a bit better once I am out doing things, even when I don't want to. Not always, just usually.
School will start again soon. That's a huge gamble, but what I was doing wasn't getting me anywhere I wanted to be, so it's a gamble I decided to take. It's more stress, but it's different than my work life, and I get to use more of my abilities.
Symphony also starts again soon. Sometimes I feel too tired to go now. I went from doing very little to doing too much, I think. But so far, I am keeping everything going. Still, I might need to take a break at some point. I had to last year.
At the end of this month, I'll be another year older. I wish I had learned sooner what I now know. At least I know it now.
I miss so many people. Time, the supposed healer of all wounds, seems to be building a graveyard in my heart. At least none of my loved ones has died recently, but I always feel like it's coming. That must be because I've lost people early, and fairly often.
I know things could be worse, but I wish they could be better. At least I am doing better than I was five years ago, in most aspects of my life. It's a fight. It's tiring. Sometimes I have to take a rest, but I haven't given up.
Tomorrow. I hope tomorrow is a good day. I will look for good things and hold onto them.
COMMENTS
-
TheArtistRose
19:45 Dec 30 2015
ut-oh!