The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

20:05 Jan 31 2011
Times Read: 681

Making a million friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you when millions are against you.

06:28 Jan 31 2011
Times Read: 673

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.



There are days when I know exactly who I am, and there are days that I am lost without direction. Everyone has their own demons to fight, and we choose how we want to fight them. Some of the ways may be unorthodoxed, but it is our way. Not everyone handles things that are thrown our way the same way as everyone else.



We all have roles that we play in this show we know as life. We play the roles as parents, spouses, children, the scorned, the blessed and the confused.



We learn from many experiences that we have been tossed into. We either sink or we swim. Sometimes even when we are tossed a rope we don't choose to grab onto it. Maybe we are not ready to yet. No matter how many times that rope is tossed at us, we have to want it, we ca not be forced to take it.



We make mistakes, we watch and we learn and at the end of the day we are the one's that have to look ourselves in the mirror.



We can be brave and open ourselves up and let everyone see what is deep with in our soul, or we can choose to keep everything locked up. But honestly how well do you really know a person? No matter how long you may have known them they can always throw you for a loop. People are people they will always do something totally out of left field. And it is always unexpected. It's true you really don't know someone until you have lived with them. And no matter how long you may have lived with them, you are still shocked at the things that are uncovered, and you are in a state of shock. You think to your self, "How could I have missed this?" You blame yourself for not seeing it, but that really isn't your fault.



I am a very emotional being. I can not help being what I am. I feel the pain, the sorrow, the hate and every once in a while the love.



Sometimes I wish there was a way to turn it off. But I will be the first to admit that I am aweful at blocking and grounding myself. I have left my self open to a flood of emotions that on any given day can almost drown me.



Yes there are certain things that will easily stir up emotions in me, but just because I do not agree with all of the people that I chose to call friends, does not make us less of friends. It just simply means that we agree to disagree. And that is what makes us different and unique. It would be such a boring world if we all agreed with everything. Wouldn't you say ?

13:32 Jan 30 2011
Times Read: 697

Where to start.... After spending several hours talking to a friend who I have been to hell and back again with.... One who I have shared my tears and have wiped hers away for many years, we have witnessed each others children take their first steps said their first words and through out everything we have always been the best of friends. I had to remind her of a few things and perhaps maybe this will remind some others who "may or may not be" in the same situation.



No matter what happens in your life men/women will come and go, they may come in and bring you the most happiness of times and when they go it can be like a tornado leaving a path of destruction. But after, the storm has passed you start to pick up those pieces, and Your Friends are there to help you through it. They are there for you when you can not find the strength and they allow you to let them be your strength until you can find it with in your self again. They don't judge you and tear you down, they help build you back up again. They are your voice when you can not speak, and they carry you when you are too weak.

For that my friends are the people that are your true friends.



This particular song came to mind as I was talking to her.

And as we continued to talk, and well i have known for some time that eventually it would all come to a head, and that there would be a fall out. Even though I tried so hard to plan for the net to catch her with, sometimes you have to just let them fall, because until you do they will keep hanging on to that that last string of hope.



When there is a traingle there can be no center, it will always be 3 sided. And someone will always be the one to be hurt. Yes we can not help who we fall in love with no matter how much we try even when its wrong. The heart wants what the heart wants. And hearts are most definatly going to get get broken.



There are no winners in a three way tie when you loving someone who is in love with someone else. Even if you are together and they come home to you every night. There is always that wondering. Its hard any way you cut it.



And when they leave you to be with that other person only to realize that it was you they really wanted and things become so insane. Do you let them come back, and then wonder who it is that they are thinking about ? Or tell them that they burned that bridge and there is no crossing it ever again ? Do you wonder do they actually love you ? all these questions that cross your mind. Do you wonder if they are going to the other person everytime they walk out the door ?



Do they makes the promices, that they will never leave again and that they only want you? Is this just a deseption ? Do you wonder if they love you like they loved them ? So many questions that go through a persons mind.



And then you add in the kids that are involved, perhaps they have childen with you and the other person. It can't be a revolving door.



You eventually have to decide, no one else can make this choice for you. It is the one that you have to live with. We as your friends can give you advice, we can tell you our experiances, but in the end you have choose, close the door or allow it to keep revolving.



So remember a few things, if your not the one thing that they can't stand to lose then just listen to this song....

07:57 Jan 28 2011
Times Read: 784

After observing someone drunk on cam tonight - yet again. It really makes me wonder about people and just how much of it is just for the PR and the attention that they get.



Premium member's have the option to not allow anon's in chats - yet for hours they continued to come in and say what ever they wanted, and yes it's their option.



Granted majority of them may have been members of her coven that simply do not like her because of how she has been acting on cam, but it was clearly pointed out that was the reason, as they felt she was making a mockery of their coven by being drunk and exposing her self and yes there were a few times were nipples were partially exposed. Yes they may have been very rude and blunt about how they felt, and perhaps they did it on anon mode so that they wouldn't be down rated by the rest of the people that were in the chat.



But if your going to sit there and cry and cry and whine on cam... at what point does it switch from being the victim to drama queen ? At anytime she could have walked away turned off the computer, but no let's drink some more even after her roommate advised her that perhaps she had way too much to drink. I mean from that point on it was just attention seeking.





Now, I don't say this because I am jealous, that is not the case what so ever. But have some self respect drinking and web-cam to the point that you are not fully aware of what is going on, is not a safe bet. Admins shouldn't have to be baby sitting people on cam for the fear that members are going to expose themselves. But it sure does seem to be the case as of late. There is a fine line between showing some cleavage to whipping your ta-ta's out and licking them. Take that some where else. I like many others are sickened by the actions of some people and how they act while in cam.



This is clearly my opinion like it or hate it, it's your choice. Just as it is my choice to voice my opinion.

Todays messaged brought to you by the Letters WTF
13:53 Jan 26 2011
Times Read: 800

If you tick me off and i don't say anything, it's not because you win.. it's because if i open my mouth I'm going to regret what comes out. Any questions?





I may not be able to draw blood from a stone but I sure as hell can draw blood from you once I crack you up side the head with that damn stone.



Now wouldn't it be cool if we could block people in real life. One click and poof, you're gone!



Romantic films are known to ruin relationships as they give unrealistic expectations to women about what to expect from men. Porn has the same effect on men.



Don't make a permanent decision based on how you're temporarily feeling



And in closing, sometimes it is better to let go of some people from your life, to help them understand your value and importance in the future!!

04:51 Jan 26 2011
Times Read: 811

It simply amazes me how certain things can move a person.tonight i watched a movie that as soon as I saw it was being made I couldn't wait to see it, and that movie is :

The amount of heart that this Amazing Horse had and the amount of blind faith that his owner Penny Chenery-Tweedy had has stood the test of time. The reason this horse has a special meaning to me is that he, did what no other horse since him has been able to do, He won the Triple Crown in 1973, and by such a long long unreachable shot. I was born in june 1973 4 days after he won the Triple Crown. He won by 31 Lengths.. No other horse since him has done that and it was 28 years before another horse Monarchos did it win the Triple Crown 2001. But still no one has been able to win with being 31 lengths infront of the other racers.





I spent my childhood weekends going with my Mom out to the race track and to all of her horse shows. She taught me never to show fear. It wasn't uncommon to find me in a box stall with one of the "problem horses", as most liked to call them. I recall one time in the middle of a thunderstorm I went intop the stall of one of the new horses, they actually had a sign on his stall that said dangeroushe was easily 17. They called him Jack. I had heard him, make a fuss and so I went to see what was going on. I was all of about 7 or 8 years old at the time. I slowly slide open his stall door and slipped in closing the door behind me. I was not afraid of him, I thought he was just misunderstood. In size he was easily 17 hands. He lowered his head down and I put my hand out to expose the peppermind that I had brought for him. I stroke his head and spoke to him quietly. I ended up falling sleep and to everyone surprise when they came to take the horses out, I was fast sleep and Jack was standing guard above me. I know someone had taken a picture of this, and it was one of the pictures I wanted, but it was some how lost over time.



My mother had instilled in me to never show fear, and look at things from a different perspective. She encouraged me to take the road less traveled and always and always believed in me. It was her love of horses that was passed onto me.Her ability to calm the "problem horses", as they never really were p[roblems , just no one was listgening to what they were saying.





I watched this movie tonight with tears running down my cheeks. It has been two years since my Mom passed and it is movies like this and The Champ both of them remind me so much of my childhood.



If your not familair with The Champ, here is a few scenes from it:

03:29 Jan 25 2011
Times Read: 826






Please take a look at this link, it is for a friend of mine a very good friend. I believe in doing charity and this one is for such a good cause.



www.theeyesofdestiny.yolasite.com

Lessons to live by
11:29 Jan 24 2011
Times Read: 838






Forgive those who hurt you, remember those who love you & get rid of those trying to hold you back.



The eyes will see what you want to see and the ears will hear what you want to hear but the heart feels what is real.



Struggles are required in order to survive in life because in order to stand up, you gotta know what falling down is like.



I believe that our lives today are a product of our past experiences, but we must learn from and let go of that past to become who we will be.



Fate is what takes you from the reality you conjured up to the destiny that was planned for you all along.



Charles Darwin said "It's not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It's the one that's the most adaptable to change."



I believe in giving everyone some rope..whether they climb up it or hang themselves with it is up to them.



We are not Human Beings going through a Temporary Spiritual Experience, We are Spiritual Beings going through a Temporary Human Experience !

03:45 Jan 11 2011
Times Read: 865

I have found that so many books, articles, blogs and other forms of communication offer advice on how to spot a "dabbler" or a "fluffy bunny": Essentially, avoid those who do not seem serious about the Craft. This bothers me on so many levels, as I'm sure it bothers others. In the spirit of such bothering, I give you the levels on which this type of attitude bothers me.



Level 1: Don't insult my intelligence. I did not begin practicing Witchcraft in order to become ignorant.



Level 2: Don't assume we have the same definition of "dabbler". A ''waste to one person, may be a treasure to someone else.



Level 3: Do not presume to tell me who I should or should not spend my time with. It is my business who I allow into my life. This kind of overlaps with the first and second levels but this is why I have entitled them "levels" and not "points". They build on each other. My levels have teamwork. Moving on.



Level 4: Finding the Goddess within does not a Goddess make. This goes for the Gods as well. I am still determining my destiny. I highly doubt you know it better than I do.



Level 5: "Live you must and let to live, freely take and freely give". An amateur has the right to live without professional intervention, unless they seek it, which I guess would then make them a novice. As far as I can ascertain, the great and knowledgeable anti-dabbler authors think novices are peachy keen. After all, whom are they writing their books and such for? Be wary the labels that get bandied around.



Were we not all "dabblers" at some point? Some of us may still be. Perhaps I am mistaken, but I doubt that every currently "serious" or "true" Witch began as such esteemed individuals. We dabble to learn new things. We try out different experiences. For many on the Pagan path, we followed our intuition and found a spirituality that has become home. But it wasn't an immediate and perfect fit.



Anything worth learning or doing takes time. Finding a spiritual path can be harrowing, exhausting, frustrating, fulfilling, joyous, and so much more. It is not, however, easy. At least, not if one is trying to make lasting changes. And not every new experience will initiate change.



Every advanced, expert, grand poomba Witch began as, well, beginners. Life is an ongoing lesson. I think a truly "serious" Witch, Wiccan, Pagan, Heathen or whoever ought not shy away from "dabblers". Yes, some people try out the Craft and find it is not for them for various reasons. Those people will eventually move on of their own accord as they do not find here what it is they're seeking. Yet, some of those whom you might prematurely be advised to run away from could be those you are meant to learn from.



Have you ever learned a lesson from a child or someone younger than you? A less experienced person is not, by default, less serious, less committed or less worthy of time. Teaching increases learning so it is reasonable to think that a less expert individual will retain their own lessons more if they teach others.



How boring and useless it would be to start something if you already knew everything about it! Our spiritual journey is no different. If we are perfect at the onset, we have nothing to learn and no incentive to change. If we have nothing to learn, there really isn't any point in continuing on. Let me embrace my inner fortune cookie and say, the journey is the prize.



I am a Priestess and I am not perfect. (Don't tell anyone.) I am continuing to grow and change. I ever strive to hone my skill and develop my Craft. I hope never to become so "advanced" that I cannot learn from a mere "beginner". When my journey is complete, it will be the end of this lifetime and I am in no rush to get there.



I will join the rank of advice authors! I advise we not become judgmental of the person who has a 'Blessed Be' bumper sticker on their car and just gave the finger to that Hummer that cut them off. Maybe they're having a bad day. Maybe someone else is using the car. Maybe they are from a culture where saluting fellow drivers with an upraised middle finder is considered to be a friendly greeting. Or maybe the driver of the Hummer deserved such a gesture. Who can say for sure? Don't judge a Witch until you have spent a day on her (or his) broom.



This is not to say that you should run up to everyone wearing pretty Pagan jewelry and invite him/her home to join your coven. When dealing with any stranger, use your common sense and trust your intuition. You will not always be right, but as you learn to trust that inner guidance, your success rate will definitely improve.



This is not advice regarding abusive relationships. That is an entirely different subject and is not being addressed here. No one deserves to be abused. Ever. Enough said. Other, less harmful but not good relationships are often put in our way to teach us something.



A common goal, it seems, among Witches (and all Pagans, really) is to find balance in their lives and unity with the Divine. We seek to be connected to the Universe. We commune with Nature, realizing that Nature is not always pleasant. I hope never to become that annoyingly perky person spouting such eloquent sayings as "Turn that frown upside down!" I am that person who will say "Look at the whole picture and see what you might learn from it".



We are but threads in a great tapestry. If we all start picking at the looser threads, the whole article unravels. A loose thread can be woven back into the piece but no mortal on this plane is skilled enough to weave such a Divine craft. Maybe Clotho will plait that loose thread with yours and enhance the beauty of that Universal cloth. Maybe Lachesis will move that thread someplace else. Maybe Atropos will cut the thread. Such decisions are not ours to make.



We should ever strive to avoid those who would do us harm. But not every "fluffy bunny" with a pent and a bumper sticker should be treated like the plague. If that newly Paganized furry rabbit remains fluffy, learning nothing and progressing no further, it is not another's responsibility to force them along or become/remain attached to them. Still, that dabbler may be in need of a teacher or role model before they become the "serious" Witch so many authors claim to be.



Instead of "How to Avoid the Dabbler", maybe we should be learning "How to Spot Potential".

20:09 Jan 05 2011
Times Read: 884

Six years ago today, while driving home after working a double shift, a deer ran out infront of me, I lost control of my car. The roads were black ice, and I flipped my car 10 times and ended up trapped upside down in a ditch. I was knock unconscience, and being that my car was justa little compact Pontiac Sunfire, the truck was smashed in to my back and the front was pushed back up into my lap. There was a massive snow storm that morning in the surrounding areas and it took the emts over and hour to get to me after 911 was called it then took then nearly 2 hours to get me to the hospital. I have no memory of being pulled out of ther car or being in the ambulance. They lost me several times on the way, and thought that I was DOA when they got to me. I had a very faint pulse. I was covered in to so much blood and glass. Had the person not stopped, I may not be here today.



It has been 6 long years with many complications with my health since then. But again I am reminded that I am obviously here for a reason, even though I lose focus of that reason at times. Always be sure to count your blessings.

00:32 Jan 05 2011
Times Read: 898

There is nothing more aggrivating than making plans to go out - and then your left sitting here as 30 minutes leads to an hour and and hour to two hours with not so much as a phone call.



It's just rude.

05:50 Jan 04 2011
Times Read: 913

Before my head literally explodes, I am going to bed. Praying to the Gods that this pain goes away.



Good Night All !

20:09 Jan 03 2011
Times Read: 927

There are certain things that can drive a sane person to lose their sanity. One of these happen to be having to deal with our local internet provider, CenturyLink formerly Embarq and CenturyTel.



Now just over a week ago I called to order service, They advised me a tech would be out to install our service on December 28th between 12-4 pm. Tech never showed up at all no phone call nothing. So I call in to complain. I am advised that they are sorry and that they will have atech out the next day same time period. I was home all day long. I go out and see that there is a tag on the door that stated sorry that we missed you and t call customer service if there is any problem and that our service is installed. Now the tech was supposed to come in to set up email and to make sure the service was up and running.



So after trying all the phone jack sin the house to see what one the dsl was installed on we finally figure it in the laundry room, we plug in the modem, and we get a signal, not 2 hours later we have no service so we call in and explain we have no service...tech support does what ever they do we get service back again for a few more hours and its out again.



Again I call and again am told they will send a tech out. I am told a tech went out to check the lines, and there is an issue, this was last Friday, we are now advised they can't get any one out until today and there will be a tech here by 8 am ... it is now 3pm no phone call no tech no service. I call in yet again after being told that a supervisor would be calling me. no call no show yet again. I am so irritated by their total lack of caring that I don't think I will be able to say a nice word to them, because they are all totally ignorant and as it would seem they don't follow through with anything they say they are going to do. So yet again I have to call back in again. Mind you i have spent more time on hold with these people then i care to say at this moment.

10:56 Jan 03 2011
Times Read: 946

I have been in a really crappy mood for about a week now, and today just adds to it.



My Pm is about to expire, so instead of waiting for it to expire I decide I will go ahead and renew it. So I go through all of the prodecures, it takes me to my paypal acct, which when i log in says that it has been flagged and is now set to limited activity... I'm just sitting here literally saying WTF..... So i then go through all of Paypals security steps I log off so they can call me I give them my security code and thin ok here we go all set. No of course not.



So i log back on here, click Pm Instant activavtion again. I am going to use my debit card this time. so i go through all of that entering in my name my address and all that, enter my card number - hit send and i get a message saying I can not use this card.........

please use another.



Again I sit here literally saying WHAT THE FUCK.

Now I know there is well over the amount for year membership, as it is the present I was giving myself. Because Christmas and New Years totally blew for me. But no, the system tells me:



No Can Has ! Grrrrrrr ......



I have a ton of stuff to do today including going out and having coffee with my friend allison and her paralegal friend who are going to help me, fill out some paperwork.



I'm very very aggrivated with much of what is going on in my life, and if I seem bitchy to you, don't take it personally, as it is a good chance that your not the one who has aggrivated me.



End rant.

06:28 Jan 01 2011
Times Read: 950

As the New Year has rolled in I am reminded of several things. The friends that I have that, remind me that they are here whether close by or in a far away land. No matter where this life takes me I am surrounded by people that are wonderful and caring. This past year has been a roller coaster - major changes were made and yet with this new year yet more changes are to be made. I am reminded that I have a great amount of inner strength, even though at times I feel as if I am incapable of finding that strength.

I have come to realize that I need to refind that happiness, that inner light that has since come to be just a flicker.