September is a bitch and now I hate her... I'm so happy it's Oct already.
My mother has lost her mind. Legit went batshit crazy.
She went through a lot this year. First she had a total hysterectomy (and was declared cancer free) in April and it was decided that she did *not* need supplementary hormones. (I completely disagreed then and even more so now)
A few weeks ago she went to visit 2 of her older brothers. One, who is in South Dakota, has diabetes and has already had part of his foot amputated. It was recently discovered that he also has prostate cancer. Turns out he has been witholding just how sick he really is from my mother. He is much much worse than any of us expected. The other brother, in Minneapolis, has Alzheimers and no longer recognizes anyone apart from his wife.
It was a LOT to death with in one weekend... and it subsequently broke her.
2 weeks ago I came home from my 2nd day of work to find the front door wide open, family pictures and important docs thrown all over the house, the dog freaking out in his cage and no mom.
Thank goodness she had the slight sense to take her phone with her so luckily I was able to reach her. When I asked where she had gone she informed me she was at St. Pauls church and had walked there. It's about a 5 mile walk with extremely busy roads and no side walk. I told her to wait right there and I was coming to pick her up.
When I got there she immediately began to inform me that I needed to "go inside and confess my sins" because I was "for sure going to hell" She informed me my brother Andrew died the night before, no he got married and she wasn't invited, nope he died of cancer and she has cancer. No I have cancer and I'm dying. Stephen (my other brother) was in a car crash, my father is leaving us and having an affair, the dog has been shot, and on and on and on
Completely freaked (and now sobbing) I got a hold of my dad (who was in Virgina for work) and told him what was going on. He managed to contact a psychiatrist who was willing to see her immediately, but it was an hour drive from where I was.
For the next hour my mother proceeded to say the worst things imaginable to me. From all of the above to how I am evil. I was adopted because my birth mother was a whore and didn't love me (That's partially true but that's a whole other storie). My life is going nowhere and I'm going to get fired. All this and much much worse. Oh and my personal favorite how I am going to die alone and miserable because I am "unlovable"
Unlovable.
Imagine all of the worst things you think about yourself. The stuff you never even dare say out loud for fear it jynx's you and comes true. Then have the ONE person who is supposed to love you unconditionally not only thinks those things too but spits them back at you like acid.
The psyhciatrist determined she had a compete mental break from reality brought on by stress (UHHH YA THINK?!?!?). She was put on medication and tests were conducted to see what in the world went wrong (they haven't come in yet though I know its the lack of hormones added to extreme emotional distress). She is mostly lucid but she still whispers horrible things when she thinks no one is listening... or maybe it's just when I'm around.
I don't know what to think or feel. I don't know what to say to her, what to do around her, anything... I just don't know...
COMMENTS
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deringerdan
11:01 Oct 15 2011
Congratulations Sleepy ;) throws confetti around....
FeverDreams
12:51 Oct 15 2011
*points and laughs*
you ish older!!!
muahahah!
MySleepyGrenade
03:56 Oct 17 2011
Hehe thankies!