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I have always been my own person

Always made all my own decisions

Felt strong in my solitude…

Don’t get me wrong I didn’t go through life alone but I was always in charge

Always of myself ..and often in charge of those around me

I had a pride in not needing another not having to ask for help or permission

Not ever looking down at those that did, we all had our choices in life of what worked

yet always believing without question it showed major weakness in me if I ever did

I was trained well I guess, well and young

Growing helped me to form decisions about who I was going to be, not a victim

I would never answer to anyone and most especially not a man

I would do my best to make those in my life happy male or female but at my own choice

And never absolutely ever answer to anyone else..



I had more than paid my dues to be my own person and would be that person at all costs

I was successful in most things confident and where I was insecure I hid it well

I was in no way weak minded. I may do for, cater to, and give, but all at my choice

I was a modern woman had my career my life my talents my friends all my things

Mine… never given, always earned, worked for, and acquired on my own merit

I had my life knew who I was what I wanted had it all down pat

…………………………………………..

then suddenly there was you

now I see a collar and leash of a sort in a form of ownership

willingly given while hopefully received

I see wanting to belong to you

to be your most prized possession have you move me dress undress bind and train me

to your pleasure, and in your pleasure I constantly find my own more than I ever knew.

Things that make me uncomfortable I willingly do (as willingly as I know how) lol

with the knowledge that it pleases you

suddenly its all about feelings but deeper feelings than I was ever prepared for

suddenly my whole world has been turned upside down

and everything I thought I wanted everything I thought I desired

and all things I thought gave me value have changed

my value now I find in my strength to do what you so patiently ask of me despite my fear

my want my desire is in showing you the trust and respect you show me

and not being afraid of feeling the desire and the want



but this….

all of this change, scares me… I hear the voice when the fear grows….

Fight or flight little girl.. fight or flight

I fought my life I fought through an all too short childhood

I fought through my life to be respected in my field

And now, do I fight my fears or my growing desires…

do I fight to grow to see truly finally who I am

Fight or flight little girl fight or flight

Flight..Its worked well also ..when I was too tired from the fight

too beaten down to battle I could run hide alone lick my wounds

heal strengthen and come back to fight again

now again the fear stronger than its ever been, thought I had passed all need to decide

fight or flight little girl fight or flight…

skin prickling at the unseen foe..

fight

or

flight

a final choice to be made, and then ..

the decision made

never again ~

COMMENTS

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LordWolf
00:11 Apr 01 2010

the silky softness of supple leather around your throat....tempting...isnt it?

~W~

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It is now as it was always

In my minds eye I see you and as I do I feel you

You are the ship I sail in across turbulent seas

You are both the safe harbor in the storms of my life and the storm of passions in my soul

Everything that makes my heart pound my breath quicken my skin tingle

Is you and what you are

My poet my master my soul my fire my sanctuary

You are my true religion and all I hold close and dear

I close my eyes and we are naked standing in embrace beneath a rushing waterfall

We are lying in a field of lush green standing kissing in the rain running in the snow

Laughing out of breath so deep in passion so high on our own desire

By candle light on pillows and silks and velvets food wine around and you and I

bodies intertwined but so connected we are as ever one, one perfect being together

So connected you and I, so two halves of the one whole

You the dark to my light as I am the tenderness to your strength and vice versa at times

I dream at night of a hand on my skin your hand soft at first

barely a whisper across my flesh then as hunger grows the touch becomes more wanting

more obvious in the desire that increases as the heat is increasing in us both from this

this simple connection it is, a lifetime in rest it has waited …our passion always there laying in wait

for the time to be right for you and I again lovers over time, over oceans, over lives

and the time ..do you sense it

it is now

my heart in your hand again your hand touching being touched your heart as well

again over lifetimes it has come to be touched

the eyes smile skin might be new but the soul the love the passionate desire

through the ages is …still the same

and yes

it is our time

do you sense it

it is now….

*A little bedtime story for those that might listen,

its quite simply the story of Little Alice*



Alice puts on her sweetest little girl dress...

and decides to take a walk, venture from the safety of her home into the woods. Knowing, after talking to little red it was the home of the big bad wolf she was still curious and so off she went...cautiously she skips through thicket and field until she stumbles upon a rabbit hole..quite large and unusually inviting she bends down to get a better look inside

her dress brushing against her knees as she does she shivers.

~its not a wolf to fear here~ she hears in her head then wait...

she hears music and laughter and merriment but she is still afraid of things she doesn't know and anything outside of the safety of her home she retreats happy to have bravely come this far she heads back home.

she does this for days and days going the tiniest bit further into the hole each time. each night returning home the music and scents and sounds having a more curious effect on her as if waking her senses more and more each night.In her sleep she would feel each sensation as if they were hands on her skin electric exciting alive. One night, weeks later just before dozing off she said a silent prayer... asking for the strength of heart to enter the rabbit hole some day and venture down into that world where so much pleasure and life seemed to exist almost blossom forth ...

with the wish her fears awoke as well they began to ask questions.....

so many questions.......

would they be like us, they thought.. would they look like us, or even like how we looked..would they dance and sing and eat foods we enjoy, would they talk like us or would we seem silly and stupid to them ..hmmmmmmmmmm thinking thinking thinking

just as she closed her eyes to sleep she thought "i may need a little help with this journey, for I don't believe I can do it alone, so I will just have to wait, find someone who would travel along or has been already to take me in"....proud of her very reasonable excuse she sleeps~~

high high high above the mountain tops in the night sky rested the many gods of times past, present and future ..four of which were both awake and bored each hearing sweet little alice's wish sat up clasping their hands one smiling to the other.."did u hear that?" said desire to reason .reason shaking his staunch but agreeable head...lust hearing them looks up ...breathing in deeply she says" mmmmmmm yes and i can smell her." she rubs humors thigh" we have a little work to do" she says grinning ever so seductively at the three.."someone go wake the one that sits in the tree..it is finally time"...all the gods of lust reason desire and humor were listening when i wished to be more and said " ohhhhhhh little girl have we created the perfect teacher for some of your greater lessons just you wait and when the time is right climb atop the strong but gentle beast and enjoy the ride



thank you hope you enjoy it sweet dreams~

Currently listening : Coup de Grace/Where Angels Fear to Tread By Mink Deville

COMMENTS

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Angelus
00:57 Apr 01 2010

good track.

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