The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

20:54 Oct 25 2015
Times Read: 912






I've always liked scars. I've always felt they were like a place mark for a memory that was etched on your skin. But, I get feeling self conscious about it. I, like the girl who had back surgery, have a 14 inch scar up my back with small circular scars around it. While I have a few others, that is my most noticeable scar.



It can be both terrifying and a relief when someone sees it. But life happens. All you can do is just make it through.

17:29 Oct 22 2015
Times Read: 953

Common sense isn't very common, while naivety runs ramped. The things you find, and re-learn when you forget you have a saved messaged folder and never clean it out. Message from 2009. I'd say that was a little bit ago. heh.

20:56 Oct 15 2015
Times Read: 1,043

This is the cycle that takes place-



Start out as who you are. Then spend time fluttering around talking with everyone. Then lure someone in. Then the issues are released and fighting with someone commences. After things go downhill and the lies come to be known as lies, it becomes the fighting, name calling, etc. Then suddenly leaving and 'never coming back'.



A bit of time passes. And then come back. Only telling certain people who you are so you can delude yourself into believing that no one knows who you are, even though it has spread quickly by those you've told, and then telling lies about things to get into the good graces of people. And then some trigger flips. And then fighting starts, and suddenly you've switched to another entity and just 'come back because you really weren't here before, but someone told you so and so said something and you just had to come back and suddenly stick up for yourself'. And then during that time it is always some familiar member that has got into an account and spread a lie. Then in a fit of self righteous indignation, the space is given to someone else. Then minds change and suddenly you want that space back even though you've already given it away.



And then the cycle continues again.



I've experienced it first hand. I can't even count how many times I wish I hadn't made that mistake. I believe the only reason why I was even made into some entry is only because of the anger that I still visit and have a presence and called you out on lies before. Others that you have dragged through this, have left because they just had enough. Well, other than that one (or those) that still helps you with lying. I stayed and it bothers you. After seeing more lies, I don't believe anything that has ever passed your lips has been truth. I don't think you know how to tell the truth. I've also notice you're always in online relationships so it is easier for you to never face, or divulge, anything real.



Part of me thinks what a horrible person you are after all the disgusting things you've said. The other part of me just feels sorry for you. Sorry because you don't care enough about yourself to seek the help that you need. I don't think you ever will. Maybe you are just a mix of a horrible person with a severe mental illness. I don't think anyone will ever really know; and I'm pretty certain that no one ever will for certain.

21:28 Oct 13 2015
Times Read: 1,118

Jesus. Aye.



I get it, you're slow. You are not comprehending what am I saying even though it is really pretty simple.



I. Am. Not. CitizenX.

Christ. Here are my Stats. I RARELY spend time here.

Ask an another Administrator. Fawk- ask Cancer or Images. Unless you are going to accuse them of 'being in on deal' or whatever you thought up.



Stop using me as a means to justify your paranoid delusions.

03:53 Oct 13 2015
Times Read: 1,161

Jeebus Fuckin' Jinkies.



I cannot believe how many of these freaking people come onto these sites to lie about who they are and try to get money from chicks. Holy Hell. There isn't even any sense of being on a free dating one because all they turn out to be is some weirdo from Nigeria trying to get cash.



Gah.. so over it all.

18:13 Oct 10 2015
Times Read: 1,204


"I SAY “SORRY” A LOT. When I am running late. When I am navigating the streets of New York. When I interrupt

someone. I say, “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” in one long stream. The sentence becomes “Sorrysorrysorry” and it’s said

really fast, as if even the act of apologizing is something to apologize for. But this doesn’t mean I am a pushover. It

doesn’t mean I am afraid of conflict or don’t know how to stand up for myself. I am getting to a place right in the

middle where I feel good about exactly how much I apologize. It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have

been taught to be sorry for. It takes years to find your voice and seize your real estate.

I am still learning the right balance. Sometimes I go too far the other way. I have a quick temper and I’m not

afraid to argue. Once, I was flying from New York to Toronto with Tina Fey and Ana Gasteyer on our way to shoot

Mean Girls. We were flying in first class and spent the hour-long, ten A.M. flight chatting about life and work. The

man sitting next to me was in an expensive suit on his way to a meeting, and I got the sense that he hated us and our

friendly back-and-forth. A few times during the flight he sighed loudly, which I took as a sign that we were bothering

him. I ignored it. Maybe that was a mistake, but sighing doesn’t really work on me. As we got off the airplane and

headed toward the moving walkway, the man pushed past me and jostled me a bit.

“Excuse me,” I said.

“Excuse me? Excuse you!” he said.

I looked up at his boring, rich-guy face. He was turning red. I realized he was preparing to scold me. He had

bumped into me on purpose to teach me a lesson.

“You girls were talking the entire flight,” he said. “You should not be in first class!”

All of my lower-middle-class Boston issues rose to the surface. I don’t like it when bratty, privileged old white

guys speak to me like I am their mouthy niece. I got that amazing feeling you get when you know you are going to

lose it in the best, most self-righteous way. I just leaned back and yelled, “FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU.” Then I

chased him as he tried to get away from me.

“You rich motherfucker! Who do you think you are? You’re not better than me. Fuck you and your fucking

opinions, you piece of shit.”

And on and on. Tina was laughing. Or horrified. I don’t remember; I was in a rage haze. Also I was showing off,

which can be at the very least embarrassingly transparent and at the very worst careless and dangerous. But who

doesn’t love self-righteous anger? It’s great. When I yell at the dads drinking coffee and looking at their phones at

the playground while their seven-year-olds play on the preschool monkey bars, I feel like I am fully alive.

But for the most part I try not to yell “fuck you.” I try to say “yes please.” And “thank you.” “Yes please” and

“thank you” and “sorry, sorry, sorry.”"



-Amy Poehler- Yes, Please.



I am not a huge memoir, but I've been reading them a bit more lately. I highly recommend woman to read Tina Feys Bossypants and Yes, Please by Amy Poehler. These women are wonderful. They share their life within a male dominated field and aren't afraid to be loud, filthy and just fun. They are so just.. positive and stong. They won't let people keep them down.



I don't write here much anymore about anything really- unless it pertain to VR, and I won't write in detail about my personal life for reasons. If you've read the below entry and comments, then I am sure you can guess one of the reasons.



But there are moments when something just seem important to pass on or share. Read it or don't. It's just as easy to scroll past as it is to click the link.

00:55 Oct 09 2015
Times Read: 1,267


"I learned how incredibly frustrating it is to watch someone talk smack about you and not be able to respond.

This kind of anger, I suspect, is the main thing Mrs. Palin and I have in common. When someone says something bad

about us, we want to respond. However, I, as an experienced member of the East Coast Media Elite, know that you can’t even try. You can rage to your spouse all you want, but the moment you post Internet comments under an assumed name, or call in spontaneously to a radio show to assert that you are not “a butterface,” or write that letter to Lisa de Moraes of the Washington Post instructing her to “go suck a bag of dicks,”you have crossed the border into Crazytown, never to return.



-Tina Fey, Bossypants.





I laughed loudly when I read Tina Fey saying 'suck a bag of dicks'. In that moment we were like.. kindred spirits. heh.

19:06 Oct 04 2015
Times Read: 1,362

On VR I have associated with 3 people (maybe 4, but I'll say 3) that out right lied about themselves. After being on here for 10 years, I'd say that is a very small amount. I know there have been others, but I am just talking about ones that I became 'friendly' with.



This place has spoiled me in a sense because of that. Another place I am on is filled with tons of the people above and scammers- which in a sense is one in the same.



I don't understand how a person can claim to be all peaceful, loving and all about the goodness in the world, when in fact they are out there lying to people in order to get them to confide in them, build trust and create some faux relationship.



I also don't understand how someone can claim to be 'god-fearing', religious or go on and on about how God (or whatever higher power they believe in) is a part of their life and do these things. Doesn't that go against what they were taught in whatever religion they follow? Or maybe it's just another line of the story.



It is so easy for them to find a new picture to claim to be and lure new people into the tale that they weave. Especially the ones that get busted, leave the place, then come back and do the cycle all over again. There is a desperation, ignorance and stupidness that just oozes from them. Maybe it does because those three things are just what they are.



In some situations I feel sorry for the people who fall for the lies they are told. Then with some others I just don't. Hell, even for myself I don't. I should have seen the signs, I just didn't until later on when I really looked.



How can you feel sorry for people who see all the signs, see all the things not adding up and yet choose to ignore it all and continue with the charade? Really, you can't. Hell, some are even told and yet they just let it go in one ear and out the other. They'd rather live the lie instead of seeing the truth. Even they really know the truth deep down, but they continue to lie to themselves.



And yeah, I know I sound like a broken record. But maybe JUST maybe that one person who is being lured in by some asshat will stop and think for a minute because I just won't SHUT UP ABOUT IT.



Shitty people suck. I mean downright suck.



So not only has VR spoiled me in that sense, but it is has also had made me realize the signs when someone is being a liar and a douche.



So really, yay for VR. heh.



And a big shout out to the sociopaths and psychopaths that helped with the lesson! /sarcasm.