The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

It's been a hot minute. About 7 months of a hot minute.

It's funny how life can change over a certain time. Along with life changes. They can cause someone to evolve and grow as a person, or stay stagnant repeating the same behavior and never moving forward.

I have made progress in my healing journal. I have healed a lot from horrible friendships, abusive friendships, abusive relationships and other trauma over the years. I still have a ways to go, but I know that I am on the right track.

There are things I've learned in the healing journey from bad/traumatic friendships- I don't deserve them. I don't have to accept the shadiness, the disrespect of my boundaries and that feeling of having to hide part of myself because I might be seen as *too much*. I don't have to be friends with people I feel like I need to constantly watch my back with. I deserve to be who I am. What I am. I deserve to be free without apologies. Not everyone belongs within the inner sanctum circle of friendship if you don't feel comfortable or if you feel like you are constantly questioning their motives or vise versa. It is okay to limit the access people have to you. You are not required to allow people into a place if you don't feel comfortable with doing so.

At one time I thought I deserved the abuse (mental) that I've gotten from past relationships. That I had to lower my standards because of my weight and my disabilities. That I didn't deserve to be treated like a person because of these things. That it was okay to demean me, belittle me, make me feel less than and take what I was given. That it was alright to make fun of me because I am handicapped, because of my living situation or because I am fat. I thought that was what I deserved because that was all I could get.

Not anymore.

I am taking back my life. I am taking back my peace. I am taking back *who* I am. I am a woman who is strong, has fought to overcome the hardships that I have went through. I am a woman who likes to laugh, is kind, loyal and looks for the bright things in hard times. I want to see more love in the world and not the ugliness that has come in the open over the years. I am a woman who cherishes genuine friendships; no matter how few of those I have. I am a woman that doesn't like to wear a mask and pretend to be something she isn't. I am a woman who is outspoken, smart mouthed, funny and not willing to fold to fit into anyone's perception of me. I am a woman who doesn't tolerate the assholes of the world or want to be surrounded by the people who thrive on the negative. I am a woman who will match your energy and not be polite when spoken to like trash. I am ME. You don't like it... that's a you problem, not a me problem.

I'm happy with who I am evolving into and discovering my strengths once again.

This isn't a 'goodbye' letter, per se. Just more of a glimpse as to why my interactions have dwindled- Life changes. People Changed. I've Changed.

People may have wanted to break me over the years and to them I say a big Fuck you. 😘

COMMENTS

-

---

CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
00:06 Jul 31 2024

You go girl! You deserve to be you and those that can not accept that do not deserve you! It sounds like you are accomplishing what so many of us have yet to find the strength to do. You're awesome!

---

POST COMMENT