19:17 Feb 20 2015
Times Read: 949
There are a few things that I really, really hate with some social media places/people- when people use pictures that aren't them and claim it is, when they flat out lie about who they are and when they just flat out lie.
Here's a few examples-
I have an ex that is certifiable- I say that not in a joking way. At the time I didn't realize it. I thought maybe it was just something to do with quirks, age and a few other things in life-like the drug use of past times catching up. But when everything started to progress it really came down to a total level of instability that was/is not at all normal and beyond toxic. I realized this when this person has told me one thing, and then lied to them self so much that they actually believed it. And then turned around and thought I would believe it as well. I am sure they did it because they couldn't live with any form of guilt and its easier to blame someone else, then take responsibility for your actions and own up to your wrong doings. Basically put, being a victim got them more attention. So thats what they went with. If you want to lie to yourself, whatever that's your business. But when you try to drag me into a lie to make yourself feel better, that's a whole 'nother thing. Not only are you trying to lie to me, you are also assuming I am beyond ignorant and stupid and will just 'eat it up with a spoon. I don't think so. Screw you and your low opinion of who I am, and you claiming to know 'what love is'. Yup, I said it all so suck it.
Next is a guy who sends out fake pictures to claim they are someone they aren't. Then when said person is called out on it, they go silent and just fade into nothingness because they were caught. I just don't understand using pictures of someone else. Now a days, it can be easier to see who is lying and who isn't. And yet people still do it. I just don't understand.
And the third one claims to be 'looking for a relationship'. You chit chat ask questions and yet something just doesn't feel right. You've asked if they have ever been married, they say no. Then you expand that question and ask if they have children. They once again respond no. You keep talking and you notice a trend suddenly logging out, logging back in, short answers that rarely expand past a yes or no. And them never digging deeper to really get to know you. So you look into it a bit, mostly to be curious, but also to see what comes up. Then you stumbled across their facebook page. Which shows that not only are they married, but their wife has also given birth within a short amount of time. You ask them again about being married and children and they reply no once again. Then you when provide the truth, they freak out and try to lie even more. After that is the most he's talked the whole time, so you know everything was just a cover up and lie.
Oh and the fact he doesn't feel any guilt about what he's done and signs back into the site to find more people lie to is disgusting.
Which brings me to another thing. Mostly because I've seen it happen on a few media sites I am on and I always wonder about the mentality of a person:
People who have been caught in lies, both publicly and privately, and yet choose to still 'darken the halls' that is the website. I have seen people been called out in some horrible, horrible things. Even after facing embarrassment, ridicule, attitudes, negative comments, etc, they still continue to come back. They never leave no matter how many times they claim they are going to leave, they just come back and continue on with their same horrible behavior. There is no guilt, no shame or anything. They just continue on like nothing happened. Perhaps its another case of 'lying to yourself to make yourself feel better'. But then there are people who accept the behavior and accept them back into the fold. No matter how many times said person has screwed people over, said things, done the same thing to numerous people.. there is always someone waiting to be their friend again. Why? I just.. don't understand that at all. And then said person really has the gull to ask the question 'why doesn't anyone like me'? Really?
Then there are the ones that just never leave, but come back as different people, using fake pictures and the whole situation plays out again.
The types of situations above have led me to be very careful about who, and how, I associate with people. I have been Catfished on a few places. While I didn't lose anything extreme, just my time and some of that online innocence of trust, the situations could have been very different if I wouldn't have listened to that inner warning system. I tend now to be very careful with the people I interact online. If I am in a 'getting to know a person' scenario and that little warning goes off. I make sure to check out what I can and look into things. It really has proved useful. Just a little tip.. the show Catfish can really help give you some kind of skills to do your own online checking on people.
These people just don't care about the position they put others in. They just simply don't care. They don't care about a person feeling guilty because they are unsure if they should contact the persons spouse to tell them about their partners infidelity. They don't care if a person goes back and forth with wondering if they should contact the real owner of the image to inform them it is being used maliciously. They don't care if a person struggles to come to terms with being lied to. They also don't care about what position it puts people in who run the website and can see things from a way that the population of the website can't.
With privacy policies they way they are on some websites, people are not allowed to give out information. I am certain without a doubt that a few websites I frequent there is someone using fake images, hiding behind a name catfishing people and yet there is nothing to be done because simply- people who run the places can't.
Maybe people see it but just don't care. How can they not when the signs are clearly there? Writing styles, decor styles, etc. Maybe some people crave to be accepted so much, they don't care who its by. And they choose to ignore all the signs because it's easier that way. Perhaps people have such low self esteem that being taking into any kind of group is acceptable to them. To be like is so important that they are willing to overlook their own morals, ideas and views. It really is sad to think about.
Trust is given so freely now. It is such a scary thing to see what some people do with it.
I wrote this in my blog earlier. Even though this blog wasn't geared towards VR, I decided to share it here as well. Some of these situations can happen here as well as other places. I really do not like to publicly share my personal business anymore, but I felt this was one of those 'need to share' things.
COMMENTS
-
XxLADYxRAVENxX
21:03 Feb 20 2015
I believe this pretty much sums it up!
TheArtistRose
23:14 Feb 20 2015
I remember late 2013, I was on a dating website because someone convinced me that, that's just how things are done these days. I talked to one guy and we agreed to meet up. Anyone I ever almost got together with, I added on Facebook, so they could see the real me right away.
Well, I never met the guy. Because he claimed I was a catfish. Lol! Now it did hurt to be stood up but it was a good thing I was or I wouldn't be in the all-real relationship I'm in now.
I agree that more people should watch catfish. :)
idbeholda
23:40 Mar 18 2015
This pretty much sums up why it's crucially important to give everyone else just enough rope to hang themselves with. It's a pretty convenient strategy, and the best part is that it doesn't require some fantastical, outlandish ability. Just raw, mathematical certainty.