The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Q: What sort of friends do narcissists have?

A: Narcissists have basically three groups of people in their circle.

1. The victim(s): This is a very small group and is the person who is closest in relationship or proximity to the Narcissist. It is most likely a spouse or family member. This is the person or group of people who see under the Narcissist’s mask. They are on the receiving end of abuse due to seeing the true character and self of the Narcissist. This group is subjected to verbal abuse, psychological abuse, contempt, and hatred, especially when things are not going well in the Narcissist’s life. The Narcissist will project his/her negative traits onto the victim(s). The victims are expendable and subject to discard at whim.

2. The ones they deem worthy of admiring them: This group is the people the Narcissist considers to be below him/her in status. These are the people the Narcissist associates with out of pity or because they provide the Narcissist with positive or negative supply in the form of admiration (positive) or drama (negative). The Narcissist receives supply from this group by constantly pointing out to himself and others that he is “so much better than those losers.” The Narcissist has deemed these people worthy of admiring him/her and his/her obvious higher status in life. The Narcissist does not choose the people in this group to be his/her friends, they just had the unfortunate luck of finding the narcissist in their life such as coworkers, neighbors, classmates at school, etc.

The Narcissist remains friends with this group for entertainment purposes only. He/She may socialize with this group when he/she is lacking other sources of supply or out of boredom, but he/she seldom forms meaningful, lasting friendship bonds with anyone in this group. He/she often uses people in this group too for favors, jobs, places to live, etc. It is not uncommon for the narcissists to speak badly about these people behind their backs, especially to other people in the group. The people in this group are expendable also and subject to discard should they ever challenge the Narcissist or say something to others against the Narcissist.

3. The ones they are trying to impress: This is the most important group to the Narcissist. This group of people is usually more successful than the Narcissist, therefore the Narcissist desires to be them. By infiltrating their circle and ingratiating himself/herself into the group, the Narcissist elevates his/her status vicariously through his/her association with these individuals. These are also the people who have never and WILL NEVER see beneath the mask if the Narcissist has anything to do with it. They think he/she is a great guy/gal and they see him/her as the life of the party and always a good friend, always ready to lend a helping hand or an encouraging word to their friends. These people are being played the most, however. Their role, unbeknownst to them is to provide the Narcissist with reinforcement of his/her cognitive dissonance/fantasy life simply by believing and not questioning the things the Narcissist tells them.

These people feed the false self of the Narcissist simply because they don’t know better. They are being fooled by a chameleon who will morph himself/herself into anything he/she needs to in order to fit in with this group of people. He/she will change his/her religion, his/her taste of music, his/her interest in food, etc. just to be a continual part of the group at whatever cost. The Narcissist goes to great lengths to shield these people from anyone in his/her past who knows the true self and truth of the ugly abuser.

Q: What are the dead giveaways of being in a relationship with a narcissist?

A: An uneasy uncomfortable, intuitive feeling that something isn't right. Fights and arguments that go in circles. They never let go of the past, any mistakes or wrongdoings to them will be rehashed over and over. And over. You begin to realize how you feel your the only one giving towards the relationship, your the only one making sacrifices. You find yourself alienated from your friends and family. You notice that your close friends don't really get along with your partner, there's just something not right. Nothing is ever good enough, there's always something that you do that your SO didn't like or your not doing enough of.

You try to continually make amends and change yourself into what your partner says they want but there's always something new that comes up that they need more of, or ask you to do differently. You never feel good enough. It becomes increasingly frustrating. You begin to think that if you just keep trying and harder you'll get to be the person they need you to be but it never ever happens. Your not good enough, you begin to feel inadequate. You continue to sacrifice and lose who you are at your core. Your hobbies and interests aren't there anymore as all you do is try to please and make things work. You lose yourself, your friends, your self esteem, your identity, your self worth. You become nothing inside. Eventually that nothingness is a turn off to your partner and they get bored. They start to become disgusted with you and eventually you are replaced by someone shiny and new.

You wonder what the #$*$, you've given everything, done everything, sacrificed so much. But they don't care, they're getting attention and gratification from someone else. They're needs are met and they don't care about yours, they never really have. They don't care about the family you've built or the sacrifices you've made to build that family. As long as their needs are met that's all that matters. They know what they're doing is wrong and not normal behavior so they turn around and begin a smear campaign to the world to help justify their behavior.

You are painted as an animalistic abusive and mentally deranged individual to everyone, including your kids. Most of the stuff said about you will be false, just throwing #”$* against the wall to see what sticks. It's at this point where you see their true colors and just how much they lack empathy or any kind of sense that they are human. You continue to doubt yourself and your self esteem plummets and shatters as it hits the floor, as does your identity and self worth.

You can't believe this person who you gave literally all of yourself to could do this to you. If you've been discarded before you now see the pattern of behavior and the ruthlessness involved. You also know that there's nothing in the world that can change their mind. They've already devalued you in their heads and replaced you with someone else without you knowing. They were building a life raft while you were scrambling to fix things. Your left to pick up the pieces of your life, your identity, your self worth entirely by yourself as you've been alienated from your friends and family. Your kids are even turned against you which is tormenting to your soul.

You spend a few months in shock but gradually it dissipates and turns to sadness and emptiness, then anger and resentment. You realize your on your own to rebuild your self and then your life. Financially, emotionally, mentally, and because of all the stress, physically. It's s tough ride. One of if not the hardest experiences a person will ever go through. You literally lose every single thing you care about, have built, and out effort into. You've lost time and most of your youth. You have to dig really really deep inside yourself to keep going. Every day is a struggle at some point. Some don't make it. Those that do may not fully recover.

Everyones experience is different but I think a lot of these feelings, emotions and events are a tell tale sign your dealing with a narcissist.

Q: When is a narcissist dangerous?

A: When is a narcissist dangerous you ask? All the time. There isn’t a time that they’re not dangerous on some level and in some way. They never have an altruistic motive for anything. Their nature is to control and use and take. They are true to their nature.

Narcissists are considered toxic individuals and for very good reason. Narcissists will drain anything and everything they can from you…your energy (you’ll feel oddly tired and fatigued when you’re around them for any length of time), your time (they’ll monopolize, or try to monopolize, your time via texting, phone calls, popping in unexpectedly at your house or work even when you told them you’re busy), your money (they may seem generous at first, but they have no problem trying to convince you to pay for things - lots of things, or wanting you to quit your job/career so they can take care of you - they won’t).

They’ll do their best to keep you away from your friends and family and then turn around and tell those same friends and family how “unstable” or “mean” or “selfish” or whatever other falsehoods and lies come to mind. They say they hate drama but really love it deep down inside. They relish walking into a room, sowing discord, gossip, and accusations among every person there…and then sit back and watch the show, while pretending that they had no part in it. In reality, they’re often the root cause of all kinds of turmoil, drama, misunderstandings, friction, dysfunction, and broken relationships.

They are a living, breathing, tangible embodiment of the movie franchise “Final Destination.” No matter where you go, when they show up, it’s like death is trying to take you out. Being around them is like contracting any number of diseases that cause a slow, painful, wasting away. They really are that destructive and dangerous. There are more than enough personal accounts on Quora to corroborate and confirm that sad, but chilling fact.

I haven’t found one person, not one, who ever said that they loved being in a relationship with a narcissist, that it was enjoyable, healthy, fulfilling, and overall, that it was beneficial to their lives. Nada. Anyone who says that is really a narcissist themselves. Or a glutton for abuse and punishment.

Q: Do narcissists panic and wait for you to break no contact?

A: Believe me, there is no panic, just expectation. If they have done the job properly, you will be in pieces, distraught by the end of the glorious relationship, so they will expect you to beg them to come back- and, yes of course, that means breaking no contact. If you don’t, they will be confused, because you are holding out longer than they expected. So you might get a nudge, a how are you text, to remind you they exist. Hint, hint. To them it is just a game- to you, it feels like life and death. That is why narc experts advise you to block, so you don’t get caught up in more manipulation. They don’t really care one way or the other whether they hear from you, because they never loved you. I know they said they did, but that was just part of the narc manipulation to get you to fall for them, they didn’t mean it. But if they had told you the truth (I only love myself) you’d have run a mile, so they concoct a fantasy where they adore you, you then fall for them, the trap is sprung, and it can go downhill because you are desperate to save the fantasy. Please don’t kid yourself your narc is sitting alone somewhere pining for you. You were replaced as soon as you split, and if you break no contact you stroke the narc ego and fulfill the expectation- no more. Please learn about the disorder so you can see why I say this, and why your escape is the only option if you want a happy life. Since every narc is the same, one book will do it. I always recommend Prepare to be Tortured (the price you will pay for dating a narcissist). AB Jamieson, on Amazon. It is a good general guide and will tell you all you need to know, without psychobabble, and it covers narcs as friends and colleagues and relatives, which is useful - there's a lot about it. It is also good on the red flags, so you can spot narcs in the future and stay well away.

A: Massively. They will start to wonder why they seemingly don't have that control anymore to screw with your natural instinct to reach out and fix the issue, as always, falling deeper into trauma bonding. On another note, when I was threatened by my Nex psychopath, I never texted. She had threatened me with some very serious stuff, stuff that, was very dangerous for me and everyone around me (smear campaign), and because of this panic, I knew in my gut that she was cheating on me all along with another con artist in Florida. This guy is a total bafoon part of her harem. The disgusting part? It was all a GASLIGHTING campaign to believe this kid messaging her was just a “friend,” and ever so randomly now she has friends to go hiking with suddenly!, And to do fun things with groups to “rekindle” from High School. Disgustingly perverse. Because those friendly texts turned into a sexcation in Florida behind my back… it only took 2 weeks! How lucky of him and her. True match made. ❤️ And when she was there and came back here… she was using that silent treatment as the way to punish me when she already made him her new boyfriend and later shamed me on social media.

This was all cold and calculated. All quiet. So when I wasn't texting solely because of the threats but also because of the gaslighting, she went on a rampage and came back those two weeks later through text expecting me to break contact all with the love-bombing over and over again. Telling me enough time has passed, etc., Hope you are well, happy, and smiling, take care of yourself, be that good man I know you are, etc. (For fuck's sake this is blasphemous)… Love bombing HARD. LITERALLY triangulating me because that bafoon is still in the picture feeding her ego snacks and validation from her smear campaign, and seeing what kinds of supply she could exhaust. Love bombing me, shaming me on social media… double lives. Imposter. She already had the physical and emotional “connection” cheating on me so she did the love-bombing with me just because she felt so elated and overjoyed that she thought in her parasitic mind that I would be a second option or even someone to quibble over her.

So anything negative if I were to say would justify and rationalize her crazy self and actions. Anything positive would still justify her to thinking she is making the right moves and keep me shelved. This fucktard child is going to be very destructive and MARK my words she will never find peace nor happiness. A TRULY SHATTERED, MALIGNANT SOUL. It is very hard to process today - she is evil. She is a psychological and emotional murderer who also has put her hands on me before. This is the second girl I dealt with and continue reading, what's scary is she was at my trial and witnessed the assassination my prior ex did to me - it is like these 2 were meant for one another and shared the same minds. The one before this ruined my career with criminal charges, charges in which I've proven myself in court by trial and evidence, leading me to be fully acquitted… but she did career assassination... I lost my job and everything… but I still have my fucking dignity, something she doesn't even know could exist.

Her mask of being a “faithful” 5-year GIRL to me slipped when I discovered her double life of engaging with multiple men and women, sex parties, BDSM, dungeons, and threesomes and orgies all while being this actress fully nurtured and cared for by me in the home I built for us. When both of these exes were called out, they denied everything… another way for me to really lose my boundaries and respect for myself, the relationship, and of course, for the people I had given everything and faithfully to for multiple years.


Q: Do narcissists hide phone numbers and accounts?

A: Yes. Most of them have multiple Facebook accounts. They are on dating sites, using an alias. Sometimes they have two phones, so they don’t get caught cheating. When I first met my ex, he had sent me a Facebook request that had his name on it, so I added him as a friend on Facebook. Then about a month later, I got a Facebook request from a person named Charlie Brown. I declined the request because it looked like a fake account. We were on our second date when he asked, Why haven’t you accepted my Facebook request? I answered I thought I did. He had deactivated his original account and opened a new one? But why? When I asked him why he was using an alias, he told me it was because he was a cop and inmates tried to look him up on social media. That was a lie. When our relationship came to an end, he then opened up a new Facebook account, using a different name. Now, why do you think that is? I know why. It is for multiple reasons.

One reason is so that his ex’s can’t find him and warn the new girl, that he is tricking into a relationship, that he is insane. But here is the main reason. When our relationship had ended, I had blocked him on all social media. Here is the scary part. He knew that his original Facebook account was still linked to my Facebook account. So he would log into his original Facebook account to spy on me. He would screenshot new pictures I would post and TEXT THEM TO ME. Basically saying, HAHA, I am still on your Facebook. Then he would deactivate the account again so I could not block him. Is that not CRAZY!!!! Do you see the control and manipulation? He had planned all of that from the very BEGINNING of our relationship. Mind-blowing!

The other reason that he behaved like this, in my opinion, is to maintain the perfect worldly image that he has worked so hard on creating. In his mind, he was erasing his past and starting all over again. Each time he gets into a relationship, he adds all the new family members and friends of the woman that he is currently tricking into a relationship. He posts how lucky he is and that he found his soulmate and blah blah blah. When the woman finally figures out that he is a compulsive liar and that their entire relationship is a fraud, he can just deactivate the account and start all over again. Same movie, a different victim. This type of behavior is what made me read the DSM-5. According to the DSM-5, people that have antisocial personality disorder tend to use an alias to deceive people. Also, according to the DSM-5, when someone has an antisocial personality disorder, the odds are very high that they also have Narcissistic personality disorder. Very Scary stuff.

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